We recognize when something is right or wrong. If it’s right, everything is fine and you move on about your life. If it is wrong, the world stops. Negative thoughts begin to creep into your mind. Your emotions start to sink and your attitude becomes gloomy. The rest of your day goes downhill from there.
Why do we react this way? I’m not a psychologist, but everyone is raised differently. I’ve seen people who take rejection or failure as a challenge (as we all should) and I’ve seen some people who just shut down because it’s too hard to deal with. Failure does not exist in the negative sense. Failure tells you what’s wrong, allows you to move forward, and do it again.
First and foremost, let’s understand something. Failure doesn’t exist – it’s progress. When you try something and it doesn’t work out, well, you’ve just discovered one way that doesn’t work. This is where some people stop and their life is over at the moment. If you keep going, you’ll see that there is another way that works and solves the problem. Failure has served you well at this point. It’s only because you kept going after you found out what didn’t work.
Failure and rejection can hurt, but if you can train yourself to move past it, it can save you time. Normally, if you’re rejected, you go through a period of sadness or negative thinking. It’s kind of like a grieving process. This takes up much time because you go through this thing where you have to talk yourself back into the game or cry on someone else’s shoulders about it. This could take hours or days. If you can prepare yourself to respond in a positive way, you’ll waste less time and can get to the end of the problem, or goal, much quicker.
Instead of sulking and insulting yourself, simply say, “That didn’t work – let’s try this….” It may not get solved right away, but the fact is, you can always do it again. It’s not the end when someone doesn’t want to buy your product. You’ve got that person out of the way – moving on. This is how you must see failure and rejection. It simply gives you permission to keep moving.
It’s all about perspective and how you see things. Failure is not the end. It’s a boost in the right direction, because you now know what to do better and how to get there. The second attempt may not work, either – you’re narrowing it down and getting closer to the solution. Even with rejection, every ‘no’ brings you that much closer to a ‘yes’. If you stop, you’ll only waste time. Don’t let your emotions get in the way. Failures push us towards greatness, but only if you keep going.
Let’s encourage our children to work through their so called ‘failures’. Teach them to not feel bad when something doesn’t work out. Show them how to make progress and to keep moving forward. Remind them to drink some water and it will work out for them – but only if they keep going.