Blog - Page 7 of 50 - The Goalden Lady

#TBT: A Mistake Is Not Permission To Give Up

Everywhere we look, we see people who seem to have it all together. Their entire life has been made to look like one huge success.

In reality, those people made mistakes. Those same people dealt with obstacles and mishaps. Essentially, they failed their way to success.

What do we expect when we’re making our goals happen? Is it supposed to be easy, or even fair? Should one day of thinking about the results be enough to get there?

What Is A Mistake?

Most people think that mistakes are a bad thing – that it only happens when you’re doing something wrong. While that is somewhat a valid definition, it’s not completely true.

A mistake is feedback. Nothing more, nothing less. When you make a mistake, it’s not the end. Really, it’s the advice or direction you need in order to proceed further.

Mistakes are just another way to tell you to readjust your plan. When you see a detour sign on the road, you don’t turn around and go home. You simply discover a new route to your destination.

A Mistake Allows You To Figure It Out

Another reason some of us don’t get a chance to accomplish anything, is because we want the exact blueprint to get where we’re going and it doesn’t exist.

Everybody’s path is unique to them. Two people in the same type of business may be successful, but they didn’t get there by following an exact ‘this is how you do it’ template.

Your journey is yours to experience. No one else can follow your path because we all have different situations we have to live out. Therefore, every challenge and obstacle will be specific to that person.

Everyone doesn’t have the same drive and motivation to achieve their goals. You may have more focus than your friend, or your friend may be more persistent than you. How you navigate your circumstances determines your degree of success.

What Success Really Looks Like

What does success really look like? No one hardly ever puts out the down side of achieving their goals, but it definitely happens.

Prior to achieving your goal, you may experience any of the following:

late nights
early mornings
short on money
negative self-chatter
feeling lazy
the wrong thing happens at the wrong time
the right thing happens at the wrong time
low self-esteem
pity parties
giving up

It takes a strong mindset and more than normal effort to continue until you see your desired results, but it’s all a part of the journey.

Give Yourself Permission

Instead of taking the easy way out and being average, give yourself permission to stay up late until you finish or do just one more rep. No one should have to tell you how to win at your game.

One of the biggest things you should focus on is not giving up. A mistake is not a hint for you to give up and feel sorry for yourself. It is not confirmation that you’re on the wrong track. Adjust your path, but keep running.

Let’s be honest – you may have tried, but not hard enough. You’re capable of reaching your dreams, but you have to know it.

Do whatever it takes for you to believe and move forward – say positive affirmations, smile at yourself in the mirror, or compliment yourself in some kind of way – it doesn’t matter, but you’ve got to know that you are just as worthy and deserving of your achievements.

There is no mistake, distraction or insult that can stop you. Know that the only person that can stop you is yourself. Have the confidence to believe in you, go out and accomplish your dreams.

#BeGoalden

Empowerment Is Not For Them, It’s For You

Empowerment is found within. Most people think of it as having power over someone else, but really, it’s about having control over yourself.

When you empower yourself, you have discipline, focus and all of the other characteristics that it takes to become a better version of you. This is an unlimited gift that you are able to give yourself.

Looking for empowerment outside of yourself is counterproductive. Buying cars and big houses and taking extravagant vacations is nice, but that’s not real power.

No More Comparing

Social media has increased our ability to compare ourselves to others. We see endless pics of people who look like they have it all together and it makes us feel some type of way.

It’s easy to think they have the perfect life, but in reality, most of them are just trying to keep up with the others. It becomes an infinite competition where no one wins.

Subconsciously, you compare yourself to those glamorous pics, wishing you were living life on the same level. It looks like an awesome way to live, but everything isn’t what it looks like.

Social media can be used for good, but in most instances, it’s a distraction. It interrupts your personal development because you’re focused on what others are doing or what they have. Instead, concentrate on your plan – prepare and act upon what your life will become. Be intentional with where you allow your attention to go.

Don’t insult your own intelligence by comparing your life to a false social media “lifestyle”. Comparison weakens potential power. You are who you are. As long as you continue to develop and be the best you can be, comparing yourself to someone else should never be an issue. Follow the beat to your own drum – that’s where your power is.

Learning Is Key

What does it take to empower yourself? Is it okay to have a role model? Where do you start?

One of the first things you don’t do, is compare yourself to anyone else. Having a role model is fine, but still understand that you must do the work and follow your own path. No one can reach your goals, but you.

Educating yourself outside of the traditional institutions, is a great way to start your journey to empowerment. Most school systems haven’t changed in decades and still teach to an old standard of learning. Times have changed, but the curriculum has not. There’s more than one way to become successful.

Thinking on your own and creating your own ideas is another way to empower yourself. Just because a thousand people are going in one direction doesn’t mean that’s the best way to go. Do your own research and come to your own conclusion. Have mind-bending conversations with others and challenge your own thoughts.

Educate yourself further by reading books outside of school and live new experiences. Learning doesn’t stop once you leave the school building. Learning occurs when you participate in life, while improving your mindset to reach higher levels. It happens when you take accountability for your situation and decide to change for the better.

It’s safe to go with the crowd, because no one is drawing attention to themselves or “rocking the boat”. When you start to swim against the current, that’s where you’ll find more opportunities. The world is full of copycats and people who stay in their comfort zone, but the real power is leading yourself, not blindly following others.

Give Yourself Permission

There is no set time, place or date as to when you start to empower yourself. All you have to do is make up your mind that you are ready to take responsibility and control of your life.

Don’t wait on anybody to tell you when it’s time to go, or you’ll be waiting for the rest of your life. What holds us back is looking for someone else to take the journey with us. “I’ll do it, if you do it,” will keep you in the same place, ten years from now.

Take your own direction. You don’t need to wait on instructions to empower yourself. One of your greatest powers is the ability to move. There’s no perfect time to do anything, so start now. Procrastinating will only eliminate your empowerment and your chances of becoming great.

Bet on yourself. Be encouraged, motivated and inspired, but most of all, empower yourself. Get your mind right, follow through and be resilient.

#TBT: How To Create Your Own Luck

We hear people say, “I got lucky.” Luck does exist to an extent, but it’s not something you want to depend on blindly to carry you through life.

They type of luck we’re talking about is built on intentional effort. You can create your own luck by having discipline, focus and being persistent. Build your foundation by creating your own luck.

Build Up Your Own Luck

Discipline. Being able to do things when you don’t feel like it, takes discipline. Getting up earlier than normal to put in extra work, takes discipline. Trying again after you failed 2 times before, takes discipline. Moving forward after people have criticized your efforts, takes discipline. Exercise your discipline muscle everyday – it’s the only way you will see results.
Focus. Giving strict attention to one thing is focus. It’s not jumping up to answer the phone when it rings. Your focus allows you to work on your goals fluently, without giving in to interruptions or distractions. Get focused if you want to see your luck happen.
Persistent. You can’t have it if you give up. Being persistent is what makes luck happen. Giving in just because you’re tired is the weak approach. Persistence is continuing the process until something happens. Nothing short of death will stop you from making progress. This is what luck is made of.

Be Mindful Of Your Goal

As you can see, getting lucky takes diligent work. No matter what your goal is, discipline, focus and persistence will create your luck, every time. No magical outside forces are needed to make it happen.

What attracts being unlucky? Mindlessly watching television, gossiping, scrolling through junk on social media and having desperate, uninspired conversation.

These things don’t contribute to luck because they don’t lead to productivity. Laying around in bed, waiting for life to happen, is a sure way to being unlucky. It doesn’t enhance your plans in any way.

Take The Lucky Route

It’s easy to be unlucky, but it takes positive and mindful action to become lucky. Think about your end goal and work backwards to where you are now. Take the first step. No more research, but physical action – making that phone call, eating that salad, or walking for 20 minutes.

By utilizing these 3 characteristics, you can create your success many times over. Begin with baby steps.

Don’t do what everyone else is doing – whatever they’re doing isn’t going to help you. Create your own luck.

Success Leaves Clues, But It Starts With New Habits

Everyone wants to be a success. We see the outcome of other people’s achievements, but why aren’t we able to do the same thing?

It can be motivating to see your peers overcoming obstacles and making something out of nothing. If nothing else, it gives you the encouragement to know you can do it, too.

What holds us back? We want to be successful, but how do we go about making it happen? What habits do you need in order to meet your ultimate goal before it’s too late?

Being Responsible

Everyone doesn’t like being held responsible. If you give someone the chance to pass the buck, most people would. Those who are the most responsible with their words and their character are likely to see success more often.

Holding yourself accountable and keeping your word is the right thing to do. Blamers and complainers are the ones who never have enough, or who use excuses to justify their circumstances.

If you ask people what’s their biggest obstacle, most will say money. What they don’t understand is that money doesn’t like being in the hands of irresponsible people – that’s why it always seems to leave them.

If you are a resourceful person, you can figure out how to make money and have it work for you. It won’t happen overnight, but if you are resilient and ambitious, it will grow in your favor. Being responsible with money, among other things, will allow you to obtain the life of your dreams.

Power Over Yourself

We think of power as having control over someone or a certain situation. Power gives us an advantage over those who are lazy and unfocused – not by controlling them, but by controlling yourself.

Self-improvement is power. When you realize life isn’t going the way you want it to go, you have the ability to turn it into what you want it to be.

It doesn’t give you physical power over someone else, but it is empowering to yourself. Most people avoid change, but when you recognize that change is what moves you forward, opportunities will flow.

You have the power to change a negative situation into a positive one. You have the power to say a kind word and turns someone’s day (or life) around. You have the power to make great things happen, if you choose.

Real power is when you take action towards improving yourself. Letting other people’s opinion guide your life will definitely leave you feeling empty and unfulfilled.

Be Forward-Thinking

Ownership and building your future is forward-thinking. The hard work that you put into your goals can always be used to build and expand more.

Those who think ahead leave the world a better place than they found it. They took the time to use their mind and change the situation to make it better. Their productive efforts leave positive impacts wherever they go. Accepting things as they always have been, is not good enough for them because they know it can be improved upon.

Forward-thinking is putting yourself on the line, even when you know the odds could be against you. If it doesn’t turn out the way you imagined, you put forth an honest attempt, as opposed to complaining and laughing at the person who’s trying to do it.

Don’t belittle the power of your mind. Think on another level and be the example for others to follow.

The New Success

If you do nothing, you’ll get nothing. If you take action, you’ll get results, even if they’re the wrong results. Think two steps ahead and know what to do next to bring you closer to the end goal.

Success will come if you see it with a different pair of eyes and act upon your thoughts with a different mindset. The old way of seeing success doesn’t work anymore – it’s time for a new perspective and new movement.

#TBT: If You Want To Improve, Make Mistakes

It’s natural for humans to want to avoid mistakes. Everyone prefers to appear that they have it all together and that nothing ever goes wrong.

But, it does. Life happens and being perfect just doesn’t exist. You can look like you have it all together on the outside, but you know you’re barely holding it together on the inside.

Mistakes aren’t little things that get in the way of your progress. You may not like it when things don’t go as planned, but it’s essential to your self-improvement.

What Are Mistakes?

Mistakes are little instances that you don’t expect to happen. Even when you’re doing your best, something can still go wrong.

While riding a bike, you don’t expect to fall, but once you figure out how it happened, you make it a point to keep it from happening again.

When you fell off of your bike, you discovered that your shoe strings were too long and got caught in the pedal. Next time, you stuff your shoe strings inside of your shoe, to prevent from falling again. Lesson learned.

A simple person would have stopped riding bikes, altogether. Rather than facing the challenge and finding a better way, they shrink back into their comfortable space.

Understand that simple mistakes like this will arise, but it’s up to you to figure it out, so you can keep moving forward.

Mistakes Give Direction

Some people don’t know how to handle mistakes. They become angry and take the easy way out by giving up.

Mistakes are not a sign to give up, but a sign to change direction or course correct. This is an important part of the process, because it allows room for improvement, as you go along.

Imagine if you gave up, every time you made a mistake. You wouldn’t achieve anything in life. Being lazy would be your highest standard.

When mistakes happen, it’s like a GPS telling you which way to go. Even a GPS will re-route when you go in the wrong direction. It doesn’t stop working just because you took a wrong turn. It searches for another way to get to your destination.

Other People’s Reactions

One of the biggest reasons why we don’t like making mistakes, or admitting to them, is fear of what other people think.

People are insecure. They will give any type of reaction that makes you feel small and not-so-smart. They want the attention to be on you and not on the mistakes that they make.

When they laugh about it, laugh with them. Don’t let it make you feel insignificant. Once you learn from your mistake and keep going, they won’t be laughing anymore.

Learn To Adjust

Your mind is your greatest asset. Use it to it’s full capacity – that’s what it’s for. Having the ability to adjust when things go south is a fundamental trait to possess.

Instead of being discouraged when something doesn’t go right, take the time to see what happened and how you can improve upon the outcome for next time. Have a ‘can do’ attitude when it comes to solving issues, even when it’s unexpected.

Treat your mistakes as your teachers, because they are. Without them, you would go around in a circle, staying within your comfort zone. They show you the path that leads to success. All you have to do is be confident, make corrections and follow through.

Always Work On Being Great

Being great takes intentional work. Looking at others and where they are in life won’t help you get to your destination any sooner. In fact, it will probably deter you.

What you need to know is that you can always work on being great. There is no magic pill or a time table – it is achieved by consistent, daily actions.

There are many things that go into becoming great, but here are a few ways to get started.

Focus

Focus is necessary to become the great person you aim to be. Distractions come from everywhere (even yourself) and it takes away from the progress you intend to make.

Being present helps your focus. “Be where your feet are,” or pay attention to what’s in front of you. It’s guaranteed that a mishap or a fleeting thought will attempt to take you off course, but if you have strong focus, it’ll be less of an issue.

Distractions happen, but it’s the way we handle them that gets us in trouble (or not). A phone call, a hole in the ground or a nagging mosquito can take away your attention. No matter what it is, you should have a plan to deal with it, accordingly.

Part of being great is knowing how to save yourself before the disturbances happen. There are many creative ways you can focus on what’s in front of you, without giving your attention away.

Some people will work in blocks of time and give themselves a short break before getting back to it. Others will turn off their phone, so they can cut off communication. You can even put yourself in a completely different environment to avoid the normal distractions you always encounter. Find what works for you.

Resilience

It’s inevitable – you will come across obstacles, setbacks and mistakes. Again, the way you handle them is what contributes to your overall greatness.

Adversity is one of those things that we try our best to overlook, because it hurts our ego. We want to feel good all the time, but it’s not good for our personal greatness to give in whenever things don’t go our way.

Being resilient takes practice – fortunately, you’ll have many times to become better at it. It happens in all phases of your journey, so be prepared to embrace it and move forward.

Most people quit when they face adversity. They didn’t expect it, it happened at a bad time or it was there to stop them anyway (so they think). Whatever excuse is available to use, they’ll use it.

Understand that those challenges aren’t there to stop you – they’re there to make you stronger and more resilient. It builds your confidence once you successfully complete the ‘impossible’ task. The secret is to not give up.

When you make a mistake or experience a setback, think it through. It’s easy to stop, but that puts you in the same category as every other average person. If you are working towards being great, you’ll find a solution.

The solution may not be there, so you may have to create one. Get back up, practice putting one foot in front of the other and move – you don’t have to get stuck here. Some people bounce right back and some people take a break before pushing through, but the important thing is to keep moving.

The person who is great will rise to the occasion and work out a solution. It may not happen in a day, but the daily act of being productive towards the challenge will put you on the next level.

Discipline

Being great takes discipline. You can think about being focused and resilient all day long, but if you aren’t disciplined enough to impart those actions into your daily life, you’ve already lost the battle.

Discipline is doing what needs to be done – not what you feel like doing , when you feel like doing it. If it needs to be done to make progress, you need to do it.

When you’re in the process of becoming great, there’s no room for your emotions. If you only did things when you felt like it, nothing constructive would get done. You would still be sitting on the couch, waiting for something miraculous to happen.

This is where discipline should kick in and take the wheel. It’s as simple as the Nike logo: “Just do it.” Being disciplined builds your character, which makes you into a great person. Overthinking won’t get you far – you have to move to improve and that takes discipline.

Like focus and resilience, becoming disciplined takes practice. Start by performing small habits on a daily basis – things like making your bed every morning or exercising at the same time everyday. Keep building up to bigger habits and your discipline will begin to increase in other areas of your life, as well.

Another way is to create a rewards system. If you do that daunting task, give yourself a small reward for completing it. Eventually, you won’t need rewards to activate your discipline muscle – it’ll happen on it’s own.

The Process To Being Great

Being great doesn’t happen overnight – there’s work that goes into it. It takes much practice and consistency.

Everyone finds their greatness at different times – some people even lose their greatness, simply because they stop. It’s not something that stays after you achieve it – you have to continuously work at it everyday in order to keep it (and be it).

Being focused and resilient is a good start, but they’re not the only skills that need to be practiced. There are other techniques that should be practiced, as well (persistence, being consistent, time management, etc.). You want to be all around great, not half great.

The process to being great isn’t hard, it just takes a little more work. Once you get used to it, it will flow naturally and you will continue to experience new levels throughout the rest of your life.

Start today – go out and be great!

#TBT: Raising Your Standards

Being comfortable with where you are could be a sign that it’s time to raise your standards. Challenging yourself may seem boring and unproductive, but in the end, it pays off.

How does it pay off? When you start developing a good habit, it follows you throughout your life. It will show up in how you do everything. You may not be able to recognize it right away because you’ve been working on it for so long, but others will be able to notice it and see your potential.

Think Differently

How do you get better results? What can you do to separate yourself from the average person? Why do you even want to challenge yourself when no one is paying attention?

You get better results by going the extra mile. Most people can do what they’re asked to do, but very few will go the extra mile. How do you go the extra mile?

Going the extra mile means you take it one step further, even when no one is watching. Run one more lap. Read one more page. Save one more dollar.

Do what others aren’t doing.

Raising your standards is where growth happens. You are doing more than the regular person to become better. It doesn’t happen all at once, but you will improve one step at a time.

Stretch Yourself

Even when it seems like you can’t do one more, take a deep breath and go for it! It might hurt, but it won’t kill you.

Get into the habit of doing more. Doing more will allow you to create a pattern of never giving up. When the others stop, you keep going.

This is a characteristic that is only found in people who are disciplined and focused. Distractions will not get in their way. Limiting beliefs will not destroy their work ethic. They know they can only grow if they stretch themselves.

Get Rid Of The Excuses

It can be done, you just have to believe it and raise your standards.

There are many people who are ready to give you a million reasons why you should stop and how it’s a waste of time. These negative comments begin to stick in your head.

When you’re alone, thinking about going the extra mile, those voices will speak to you:

“Who are you to do this?”
“That will never work…”
“You don’t even know how to do that.”
“Why don’t you relax, it’s not going to happen anyway…”
“Who do you think you are?”

All of these whispers are floating around in your head, but don’t let it hold you back. It feels good to do more than what’s expected of you – it defines who you are and what you’re capable of. All you have to do is follow through.

Stop Expecting It To Be Easy

Greatness is within you, but you have to do the work in order to activate it. That means not listening to the naysayers and expecting things to come easy.

We want things to meet us where we are. Greatness doesn’t meet you where you are – you must get up and go to it! Rise to the occasion and display your best efforts.

It’s not going to be easy. If you want to step into your future, there is work that has to be done. Raise your standards and meet your potential. You’ll surprise yourself at how productive you can be and how far you can go.

#BeGoalden

Perspective – How Do You See It?

Your perspective dictates how you embrace your life. Everyone sees things differently from their experiences, therefore, everyone’s reality is different.

What one person sees as a failure, another person sees as an opportunity. How do these thoughts come about? You may not believe it, but your language and perspective have a lot to do with your social environment, how you think and where you are today.

Language

Your language and how you use your words contribute to your level of thinking. A lazy person’s language is different from an ambitious person’s language, so they have a different level of understanding. The good thing is, you can always improve your language through learning, which will expand how you think.

Your speech attracts the type of friends you hang around. Do you talk about becoming wealthy or do you talk about the latest reality show? Does your conversation lean towards creating solutions or more towards judgment?

The language you choose to use can bring you closer to your goal (or not). Using certain words will entice certain people. This is why networking is an important part of becoming successful – you tend to create your own social environment with your choice of words.

You don’t have to walk around sounding like a dictionary, but communication influences your thought pattern and brings about others with the same mentality. It can inspire and build confidence in the right people, but only if the right people have a positive perspective.

Perspective

Language also contributes to your perspective and how you see things. Again, some people see mistakes, where others simply see feedback.

Different words lead to different thoughts. Two people can observe the same situation, but will describe it from their own perspective. This leads to contrasting opinions, even though the experience was the same.

There are even times where we allow other people’s opinion to drive our perspective. What they think will create our self-esteem and the way we interpret things. Is it really your perspective, or theirs?

Like language, your perspective is also a choice. A problem can be seen as a permanent setback (negative), or it can be seen as a challenge (positive). Most people go out of their way to avoid problems, but some find satisfaction in enduring a challenge. It’s all about how we perceive the ‘problem’.

It’s the same thing, just worded and thought about differently (is the problem a setback or a challenge?). Your perspective can breed various results, depending on how you decide to think.

What Do You Choose?

The language you use and how you choose to see things has a great impact on your life. Although it may seem small, it could be the difference between making progress and being stuck.

Choose to see the positive before the negative – our minds gravitate towards the negative first, but make a conscious effort to do the opposite. You would want someone to see the good in you, before they judge you with the bad.

Be the same way with your environment and life. We aren’t able to control everything that happens, but we can control our language, perspective and how we will see it, from here on out.

#TBT: Make The Commitment To Do Your Best Everyday

Commitment begins with a thought or an idea. The goal is to stick with the task, so that you can incrementally improve day by day.

You have an unspoken responsibility of becoming the best person you can be. No one has to tell you this, you just know. Laziness can kick in at any time, followed by complacency.

To become better and more productive, you must make a commitment. How do you start? What does it mean to be committed?

Identify Your Commitment

When you commit to something, you make a conscious effort to do it consistently. No matter what you decide to do, a commitment has to be made first.

Do you want to lose weight? Start by committing to drinking a glass of water and an evening walk everyday. Are you ready to take control of your finances? Commit to saving ten dollars a week. Want to study history? Do the research and find the right books to read and documentaries to watch.

Identify what you want to do and go for it. Most times, we think about what we want to do, but we never get around to actually doing it – that’s because a commitment was never made.

Establish what it is that you want to achieve, commit and take the first step.

How To Make Your Commitment Stick

It may be difficult for you to commit to a personal goal – it happens to everyone. Comfort sneaks in and takes over any challenge you had in mind. How can you make a commitment stick?

One strategy you can use is writing it down. Creating a list of things to do will hold you accountable for taking action. Instead of relying on your memory to do something, write it down. Writing it down makes it official. You won’t get away with conveniently forgetting about it and it allows you to ‘see’ what needs to be done, so you can plan accordingly.

If writing it down isn’t your thing, find a responsible person to hold you accountable. This should be someone you trust. If you don’t perform your committed task, the consequences should be something uncomfortable, like paying them one hundred dollars. You wouldn’t want to give up that kind of money, therefore, you’ll do your best to follow through. Check in at a certain time with this person everyday to be sure you are staying committed to your goal.

Be Relentless

Making a commitment doesn’t work unless you’re consistent with your actions. You have to be ready to see past the distractions and adapt to change. If not, the whole idea of being committed to your idea simply won’t happen.

If you make a commitment and it doesn’t work out, that’s fine. It’s not the end of the world. You always have the choice to do it again. Has success ever come easily on the very first attempt?

Your will encounter adversity of some sort. You will have to shift in order to keep going. Be relentless with your commitment. If you’re serious about reaching your goal, you’ll do what’s necessary to get there.

Your ambition and determination should drive your commitment. You must be convinced that no matter what happens, you won’t give in to negative ideas and people. When it does happen, you must make the adjustment and adapt to the new plan.

Are You Ready?

Making a commitment says a lot about you. It says that you’re focused and decisive about what you want to do. Too many people drift into a life of nothingness, by giving away their advantage. The power is within you, but you have to be intentional and use it proactively.

Like anything else, it takes time and effort to be committed to your plan. Don’t be the one who stops at every obstacle you come across. Trust yourself to build the future of your dreams. You don’t have to start big – don’t let someone else’s accomplishments deter you from beginning your journey. Everyone has to start somewhere.

It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it. Take baby steps. Make the commitment and take the responsibility to grow into your greatness.

#BeGoalden

How To Unlearn What You Learned

To unlearn what you thought was right will give you an advantage in life. Most people keep following the same thing they were told, just because it worked for someone else decades ago.

What was right thirty years ago, isn’t necessarily right today. It’s not the fundamental principles of life (being kind, respectful, having integrity, etc.) that have changed, but the previous generations’ blueprint we use to go about navigating our own lives.

Fear

Fear will keep you from greatness. You saw that it didn’t work out for your friend, so you think it won’t work out for you. What you must understand is that everyone has a different journey in life – we’re not the same.

That particular plan doesn’t apply to everyone – no matter how many social media influencers tell you they have the “secret” or the “ultimate plan” to do whatever – your journey is unique to you.

Unlearn FOMO (fear of missing out). You’re not missing out on anything. It’s just reverse peer pressure. Peer pressure is when someone convinces you to do something, while making you feel a certain way. FOMO is what you do to yourself, because you think you’ll miss out.

It’s all fear, called by another name. We tend to live our lives off of other people’s results. Amy became successful after taking an online course about marketing. Now, you want to take the same course, yet, you’re not experiencing Amy’s successful results.

The same thing doesn’t work for everybody. Think about what you like, how you feel about it and go from there. Unlearn the trap of doing things that worked for other people.

Traditions

Traditions is another thing we have to respectfully unlearn. Your family may instill certain traditions in you, but it doesn’t mean that it’s right for the time you’re living in.

Let’s take college as an example. Some parents think college is the end all, be all. You absolutely can not get a good job unless you go to college, right? They even may have a college already picked out for you, simply because three generations of the family have graduated from ABC University.

Living in the age of the internet, college is not the only way to achieve your goals. The World Wide Web has made many things possible, that weren’t possible years ago. With college, once you factor in the debt, it may make better sense to attend a credible workshop (for a third of the cost) that will fast track your life’s plan.

Unlearning or adjusting traditions isn’t popular, because it’s tradition and “we’ve been doing it this way for years and your great-grandfather would be so disappointed”.

At the same time, parents should allow their children to grow and learn. Although parents may try to eliminate some of the hardships by promoting their advice, sometimes, that advice could be the very thing that’s holding your children back from a rich and fulfilling life.

The Victim Mindset

The victim mindset is the biggest thing to unlearn. A parent can unconsciously teach their children to complain, blame or be entitled.

You hear people say, “My kids are going to work hard just like I did – they’re going to know what it’s like to struggle!” Just because you struggled doesn’t mean you have to pass that down to your child.

It becomes a generational curse – everyone believes they have to struggle, remain complacent and find new ways to “trick” the government to pay them, as opposed to working. Instead of creating better habits or working to place you and your family in a more productive position, they choose to let life ruin them.

Life comes along and ruins everyone at some point, but the difference is based on how you respond. Do you look for solutions or wallow in the problem? Are you satisfied with losing, or will you learn and adjust for better results?

You shouldn’t want someone (especially your child) to do worse than you, just to make you feel good. Uplift and support one another – that’s how you build a strong family and a winning environment. Wanting to pass down poverty, guilt and fraud is something that definitely needs to be unlearned.

Unlearn And Start Living

Understand that you don’t have to take everyone’s word or follow their advice. You have your own mind to make up and your own mistakes to learn from. Everyone’s opinions aren’t words to live by. You do have a choice.

The best way to live is to follow what’s in your heart and mind and keep it moving. Some people may not like it or may even disown you, but you’re living for you, not for them.

Be responsible for the outcomes you produce. Don’t give yourself the slack to blame it on someone else (because they told you to) – be accountable for your own decisions. There’s nothing worse than being regretful over doing what someone else told you to do and you did it without thinking for yourself.

Unlearning is a part of life. No one talks about it, but it can benefit you in tremendous ways. It doesn’t have to be done with disrespect – just move in silence and live your life on your terms.