June 2021 - The Goalden Lady

Always Work On Being Great

Being great takes intentional work. Looking at others and where they are in life won’t help you get to your destination any sooner. In fact, it will probably deter you.

What you need to know is that you can always work on being great. There is no magic pill or a time table – it is achieved by consistent, daily actions.

There are many things that go into becoming great, but here are a few ways to get started.

Focus

Focus is necessary to become the great person you aim to be. Distractions come from everywhere (even yourself) and it takes away from the progress you intend to make.

Being present helps your focus. “Be where your feet are,” or pay attention to what’s in front of you. It’s guaranteed that a mishap or a fleeting thought will attempt to take you off course, but if you have strong focus, it’ll be less of an issue.

Distractions happen, but it’s the way we handle them that gets us in trouble (or not). A phone call, a hole in the ground or a nagging mosquito can take away your attention. No matter what it is, you should have a plan to deal with it, accordingly.

Part of being great is knowing how to save yourself before the disturbances happen. There are many creative ways you can focus on what’s in front of you, without giving your attention away.

Some people will work in blocks of time and give themselves a short break before getting back to it. Others will turn off their phone, so they can cut off communication. You can even put yourself in a completely different environment to avoid the normal distractions you always encounter. Find what works for you.

Resilience

It’s inevitable – you will come across obstacles, setbacks and mistakes. Again, the way you handle them is what contributes to your overall greatness.

Adversity is one of those things that we try our best to overlook, because it hurts our ego. We want to feel good all the time, but it’s not good for our personal greatness to give in whenever things don’t go our way.

Being resilient takes practice – fortunately, you’ll have many times to become better at it. It happens in all phases of your journey, so be prepared to embrace it and move forward.

Most people quit when they face adversity. They didn’t expect it, it happened at a bad time or it was there to stop them anyway (so they think). Whatever excuse is available to use, they’ll use it.

Understand that those challenges aren’t there to stop you – they’re there to make you stronger and more resilient. It builds your confidence once you successfully complete the ‘impossible’ task. The secret is to not give up.

When you make a mistake or experience a setback, think it through. It’s easy to stop, but that puts you in the same category as every other average person. If you are working towards being great, you’ll find a solution.

The solution may not be there, so you may have to create one. Get back up, practice putting one foot in front of the other and move – you don’t have to get stuck here. Some people bounce right back and some people take a break before pushing through, but the important thing is to keep moving.

The person who is great will rise to the occasion and work out a solution. It may not happen in a day, but the daily act of being productive towards the challenge will put you on the next level.

Discipline

Being great takes discipline. You can think about being focused and resilient all day long, but if you aren’t disciplined enough to impart those actions into your daily life, you’ve already lost the battle.

Discipline is doing what needs to be done – not what you feel like doing , when you feel like doing it. If it needs to be done to make progress, you need to do it.

When you’re in the process of becoming great, there’s no room for your emotions. If you only did things when you felt like it, nothing constructive would get done. You would still be sitting on the couch, waiting for something miraculous to happen.

This is where discipline should kick in and take the wheel. It’s as simple as the Nike logo: “Just do it.” Being disciplined builds your character, which makes you into a great person. Overthinking won’t get you far – you have to move to improve and that takes discipline.

Like focus and resilience, becoming disciplined takes practice. Start by performing small habits on a daily basis – things like making your bed every morning or exercising at the same time everyday. Keep building up to bigger habits and your discipline will begin to increase in other areas of your life, as well.

Another way is to create a rewards system. If you do that daunting task, give yourself a small reward for completing it. Eventually, you won’t need rewards to activate your discipline muscle – it’ll happen on it’s own.

The Process To Being Great

Being great doesn’t happen overnight – there’s work that goes into it. It takes much practice and consistency.

Everyone finds their greatness at different times – some people even lose their greatness, simply because they stop. It’s not something that stays after you achieve it – you have to continuously work at it everyday in order to keep it (and be it).

Being focused and resilient is a good start, but they’re not the only skills that need to be practiced. There are other techniques that should be practiced, as well (persistence, being consistent, time management, etc.). You want to be all around great, not half great.

The process to being great isn’t hard, it just takes a little more work. Once you get used to it, it will flow naturally and you will continue to experience new levels throughout the rest of your life.

Start today – go out and be great!

#TBT: Raising Your Standards

Being comfortable with where you are could be a sign that it’s time to raise your standards. Challenging yourself may seem boring and unproductive, but in the end, it pays off.

How does it pay off? When you start developing a good habit, it follows you throughout your life. It will show up in how you do everything. You may not be able to recognize it right away because you’ve been working on it for so long, but others will be able to notice it and see your potential.

Think Differently

How do you get better results? What can you do to separate yourself from the average person? Why do you even want to challenge yourself when no one is paying attention?

You get better results by going the extra mile. Most people can do what they’re asked to do, but very few will go the extra mile. How do you go the extra mile?

Going the extra mile means you take it one step further, even when no one is watching. Run one more lap. Read one more page. Save one more dollar.

Do what others aren’t doing.

Raising your standards is where growth happens. You are doing more than the regular person to become better. It doesn’t happen all at once, but you will improve one step at a time.

Stretch Yourself

Even when it seems like you can’t do one more, take a deep breath and go for it! It might hurt, but it won’t kill you.

Get into the habit of doing more. Doing more will allow you to create a pattern of never giving up. When the others stop, you keep going.

This is a characteristic that is only found in people who are disciplined and focused. Distractions will not get in their way. Limiting beliefs will not destroy their work ethic. They know they can only grow if they stretch themselves.

Get Rid Of The Excuses

It can be done, you just have to believe it and raise your standards.

There are many people who are ready to give you a million reasons why you should stop and how it’s a waste of time. These negative comments begin to stick in your head.

When you’re alone, thinking about going the extra mile, those voices will speak to you:

“Who are you to do this?”
“That will never work…”
“You don’t even know how to do that.”
“Why don’t you relax, it’s not going to happen anyway…”
“Who do you think you are?”

All of these whispers are floating around in your head, but don’t let it hold you back. It feels good to do more than what’s expected of you – it defines who you are and what you’re capable of. All you have to do is follow through.

Stop Expecting It To Be Easy

Greatness is within you, but you have to do the work in order to activate it. That means not listening to the naysayers and expecting things to come easy.

We want things to meet us where we are. Greatness doesn’t meet you where you are – you must get up and go to it! Rise to the occasion and display your best efforts.

It’s not going to be easy. If you want to step into your future, there is work that has to be done. Raise your standards and meet your potential. You’ll surprise yourself at how productive you can be and how far you can go.

#BeGoalden

Perspective – How Do You See It?

Your perspective dictates how you embrace your life. Everyone sees things differently from their experiences, therefore, everyone’s reality is different.

What one person sees as a failure, another person sees as an opportunity. How do these thoughts come about? You may not believe it, but your language and perspective have a lot to do with your social environment, how you think and where you are today.

Language

Your language and how you use your words contribute to your level of thinking. A lazy person’s language is different from an ambitious person’s language, so they have a different level of understanding. The good thing is, you can always improve your language through learning, which will expand how you think.

Your speech attracts the type of friends you hang around. Do you talk about becoming wealthy or do you talk about the latest reality show? Does your conversation lean towards creating solutions or more towards judgment?

The language you choose to use can bring you closer to your goal (or not). Using certain words will entice certain people. This is why networking is an important part of becoming successful – you tend to create your own social environment with your choice of words.

You don’t have to walk around sounding like a dictionary, but communication influences your thought pattern and brings about others with the same mentality. It can inspire and build confidence in the right people, but only if the right people have a positive perspective.

Perspective

Language also contributes to your perspective and how you see things. Again, some people see mistakes, where others simply see feedback.

Different words lead to different thoughts. Two people can observe the same situation, but will describe it from their own perspective. This leads to contrasting opinions, even though the experience was the same.

There are even times where we allow other people’s opinion to drive our perspective. What they think will create our self-esteem and the way we interpret things. Is it really your perspective, or theirs?

Like language, your perspective is also a choice. A problem can be seen as a permanent setback (negative), or it can be seen as a challenge (positive). Most people go out of their way to avoid problems, but some find satisfaction in enduring a challenge. It’s all about how we perceive the ‘problem’.

It’s the same thing, just worded and thought about differently (is the problem a setback or a challenge?). Your perspective can breed various results, depending on how you decide to think.

What Do You Choose?

The language you use and how you choose to see things has a great impact on your life. Although it may seem small, it could be the difference between making progress and being stuck.

Choose to see the positive before the negative – our minds gravitate towards the negative first, but make a conscious effort to do the opposite. You would want someone to see the good in you, before they judge you with the bad.

Be the same way with your environment and life. We aren’t able to control everything that happens, but we can control our language, perspective and how we will see it, from here on out.

#TBT: Make The Commitment To Do Your Best Everyday

Commitment begins with a thought or an idea. The goal is to stick with the task, so that you can incrementally improve day by day.

You have an unspoken responsibility of becoming the best person you can be. No one has to tell you this, you just know. Laziness can kick in at any time, followed by complacency.

To become better and more productive, you must make a commitment. How do you start? What does it mean to be committed?

Identify Your Commitment

When you commit to something, you make a conscious effort to do it consistently. No matter what you decide to do, a commitment has to be made first.

Do you want to lose weight? Start by committing to drinking a glass of water and an evening walk everyday. Are you ready to take control of your finances? Commit to saving ten dollars a week. Want to study history? Do the research and find the right books to read and documentaries to watch.

Identify what you want to do and go for it. Most times, we think about what we want to do, but we never get around to actually doing it – that’s because a commitment was never made.

Establish what it is that you want to achieve, commit and take the first step.

How To Make Your Commitment Stick

It may be difficult for you to commit to a personal goal – it happens to everyone. Comfort sneaks in and takes over any challenge you had in mind. How can you make a commitment stick?

One strategy you can use is writing it down. Creating a list of things to do will hold you accountable for taking action. Instead of relying on your memory to do something, write it down. Writing it down makes it official. You won’t get away with conveniently forgetting about it and it allows you to ‘see’ what needs to be done, so you can plan accordingly.

If writing it down isn’t your thing, find a responsible person to hold you accountable. This should be someone you trust. If you don’t perform your committed task, the consequences should be something uncomfortable, like paying them one hundred dollars. You wouldn’t want to give up that kind of money, therefore, you’ll do your best to follow through. Check in at a certain time with this person everyday to be sure you are staying committed to your goal.

Be Relentless

Making a commitment doesn’t work unless you’re consistent with your actions. You have to be ready to see past the distractions and adapt to change. If not, the whole idea of being committed to your idea simply won’t happen.

If you make a commitment and it doesn’t work out, that’s fine. It’s not the end of the world. You always have the choice to do it again. Has success ever come easily on the very first attempt?

Your will encounter adversity of some sort. You will have to shift in order to keep going. Be relentless with your commitment. If you’re serious about reaching your goal, you’ll do what’s necessary to get there.

Your ambition and determination should drive your commitment. You must be convinced that no matter what happens, you won’t give in to negative ideas and people. When it does happen, you must make the adjustment and adapt to the new plan.

Are You Ready?

Making a commitment says a lot about you. It says that you’re focused and decisive about what you want to do. Too many people drift into a life of nothingness, by giving away their advantage. The power is within you, but you have to be intentional and use it proactively.

Like anything else, it takes time and effort to be committed to your plan. Don’t be the one who stops at every obstacle you come across. Trust yourself to build the future of your dreams. You don’t have to start big – don’t let someone else’s accomplishments deter you from beginning your journey. Everyone has to start somewhere.

It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it. Take baby steps. Make the commitment and take the responsibility to grow into your greatness.

#BeGoalden

How To Unlearn What You Learned

To unlearn what you thought was right will give you an advantage in life. Most people keep following the same thing they were told, just because it worked for someone else decades ago.

What was right thirty years ago, isn’t necessarily right today. It’s not the fundamental principles of life (being kind, respectful, having integrity, etc.) that have changed, but the previous generations’ blueprint we use to go about navigating our own lives.

Fear

Fear will keep you from greatness. You saw that it didn’t work out for your friend, so you think it won’t work out for you. What you must understand is that everyone has a different journey in life – we’re not the same.

That particular plan doesn’t apply to everyone – no matter how many social media influencers tell you they have the “secret” or the “ultimate plan” to do whatever – your journey is unique to you.

Unlearn FOMO (fear of missing out). You’re not missing out on anything. It’s just reverse peer pressure. Peer pressure is when someone convinces you to do something, while making you feel a certain way. FOMO is what you do to yourself, because you think you’ll miss out.

It’s all fear, called by another name. We tend to live our lives off of other people’s results. Amy became successful after taking an online course about marketing. Now, you want to take the same course, yet, you’re not experiencing Amy’s successful results.

The same thing doesn’t work for everybody. Think about what you like, how you feel about it and go from there. Unlearn the trap of doing things that worked for other people.

Traditions

Traditions is another thing we have to respectfully unlearn. Your family may instill certain traditions in you, but it doesn’t mean that it’s right for the time you’re living in.

Let’s take college as an example. Some parents think college is the end all, be all. You absolutely can not get a good job unless you go to college, right? They even may have a college already picked out for you, simply because three generations of the family have graduated from ABC University.

Living in the age of the internet, college is not the only way to achieve your goals. The World Wide Web has made many things possible, that weren’t possible years ago. With college, once you factor in the debt, it may make better sense to attend a credible workshop (for a third of the cost) that will fast track your life’s plan.

Unlearning or adjusting traditions isn’t popular, because it’s tradition and “we’ve been doing it this way for years and your great-grandfather would be so disappointed”.

At the same time, parents should allow their children to grow and learn. Although parents may try to eliminate some of the hardships by promoting their advice, sometimes, that advice could be the very thing that’s holding your children back from a rich and fulfilling life.

The Victim Mindset

The victim mindset is the biggest thing to unlearn. A parent can unconsciously teach their children to complain, blame or be entitled.

You hear people say, “My kids are going to work hard just like I did – they’re going to know what it’s like to struggle!” Just because you struggled doesn’t mean you have to pass that down to your child.

It becomes a generational curse – everyone believes they have to struggle, remain complacent and find new ways to “trick” the government to pay them, as opposed to working. Instead of creating better habits or working to place you and your family in a more productive position, they choose to let life ruin them.

Life comes along and ruins everyone at some point, but the difference is based on how you respond. Do you look for solutions or wallow in the problem? Are you satisfied with losing, or will you learn and adjust for better results?

You shouldn’t want someone (especially your child) to do worse than you, just to make you feel good. Uplift and support one another – that’s how you build a strong family and a winning environment. Wanting to pass down poverty, guilt and fraud is something that definitely needs to be unlearned.

Unlearn And Start Living

Understand that you don’t have to take everyone’s word or follow their advice. You have your own mind to make up and your own mistakes to learn from. Everyone’s opinions aren’t words to live by. You do have a choice.

The best way to live is to follow what’s in your heart and mind and keep it moving. Some people may not like it or may even disown you, but you’re living for you, not for them.

Be responsible for the outcomes you produce. Don’t give yourself the slack to blame it on someone else (because they told you to) – be accountable for your own decisions. There’s nothing worse than being regretful over doing what someone else told you to do and you did it without thinking for yourself.

Unlearning is a part of life. No one talks about it, but it can benefit you in tremendous ways. It doesn’t have to be done with disrespect – just move in silence and live your life on your terms.

#TBT: How To Find the Opportunity In Fear

It sounds impossible, but you can find the opportunity in fear. Depending on your mindset, fear can either hold you back or take you to another level.

We’ve been trained to see fear and hurt as something to avoid. It’s something ‘bad’ that we want to get away from and we don’t ever want to experience it.

Have you ever considered that maybe your fear is pushing you in the right direction? Let’s examine how we normally react to fear.

Blaming And Complaining

Fear gets the best of our emotions. As soon as something makes us fearful, our feelings kick in and take over.

For some of us, that means we automatically become defensive. We create different excuses as to why we haven’t done something. The excuses are portrayed through blaming and complaining.

We say things like, “I couldn’t make the speech because they didn’t give me the right microphone…” or, “The lights were so bright, I couldn’t see the audience.” That’s fear consuming your mind and your attitude.

Those may be somewhat legitimate reasons (to an extent), but they’re still excuses. Sometimes, you will have to get things done, whether you are comfortable or not. Everything is not guaranteed to happen to your personal satisfaction. The end goal is to make it happen, the best way you can.

Practicing Fear

Some of us actually practice the fear within us. When you have pity parties and feel sorry for yourself, that’s being supporting of a negative emotion.

We say things like, “They said I’m no good at singing. I never was and I guess I never will be…”, or “I flunked the test twice already – I guess it’s not meant for me.” You’re indirectly inviting negative energy to take hold of your life.

If it’s something you really want to overcome, don’t feel bad because it didn’t happen the first time around. As long as you breathe, you can make another attempt.

There will always be people who are critical of whatever you’re doing. Never allow what someone else thinks, to interfere with what you’re doing. It’s their insecurity, not yours, so don’t claim it.

The Pity Party

The pity party is the ultimate setback. Some of us were raised to think and be fearful of things we’ve failed at. We’ve been taught to accept that we’re not ‘good enough’ and that’s not okay.

We’re used to reacting to obstacles by putting ourselves down. “Why me? What did I do to deserve this?” Then, you begin playing all of your failures from the past, over and over in your mind.

This is not the ONLY way to respond to fear. Yes, it hurts when challenging situations happen, but have a mindset of power and opportunity. Stop practicing fear by having a “woe is me” attitude and thinking that you’ll never succeed.

Be Proactive

All of our lives, we’ve allowed fear to steal valuable moments from us. We’re so used to believing in a negative, emotional power, that it literally takes up our most important asset – time.

Reclaim your time and take advantage of your fear. Be productive by turning it into an opportunity to become better. Make it a personal project that you must successfully complete!

Instead of letting fear control you, take control of it. See the benefits of what fear has to offer and use it in your favor. On the other side of fear is improvement. See through it, then, see it through.

#BeGoalden

I Have A Vision, Now What?

A vision is one way to help you stay consistent with reaching your goals. You hear the ‘gurus’ talk about having a vision (and a vision board), but what does it really take to make it happen?

This is where most people stop. They imagine what they want to be and forget about it, but crafting your vision isn’t something you do only one time. It takes more than a simple, floating thought to manifest your dreams.

Make The Commitment

Again, you hear people say you need a vision to be successful, but what goes into that? Is it just looking at pictures of your dream home and a bunch of money? Of course not – there’s a more intentional way of getting there.

One of the first things you must do is make the decision to commit. If this is your goal, you want to use all of your power to make it come true. Just saying, “I’m going to open my business,” is not enough.

With commitment, you create new habits. You may even think new thoughts in order to make your way towards the achievement that you want. These habits and thoughts are what’s going to support the start of your goal, but only if you commit.

Don’t just say it – be it. If it requires getting up at 5am, get up at 5am. If you’re more productive as a night owl, rearrange your schedule to accommodate a new routine. You don’t have to wait for something to happen – immerse yourself in it and make it happen.

It all starts in your mind. Know what you want to do and be direct with how you’re going to approach it. Commit yourself to the process, just as you would if you were planning your vacation. If something gets in the way (as it will), hold yourself accountable, find a solution and follow through.

Focus On Your Vision

Your mindset has to be focused on getting to your goal. Do the research, make the phone calls or whatever it takes to get you going. It’s your vision – make it real. See yourself working hard, making progress and overcoming potential obstacles. Don’t just see it once a week, see it everyday, several times a day.

To ‘think’ of your vision isn’t enough. Smell the ocean air when you walk onto the balcony of your beachfront home. Feel your feet sinking into the sand as you walk across the ebb and flow of the water. See the sun set as you eat your dinner. Taste the freshness of the seafood that was caught fresh from the ocean, moments before you purchased it.

Your vision involves your senses and your action. None of this will happen if you don’t make any forward movement. You can imagine what it’s like all you want, but making it happen is totally different.

Put a strategy in place to grow your vision. Letting it sit in your head only keeps you in the same place as before. There must be some sort of daily starting point to push the needle towards your dream. Develop a physical strategy that pulls your vision into existence and be proactive.

For example, write down what your vision looks like, along with building your vision board. Make time to read and look at it everyday, when you awake and right before you go to sleep. Research success stories about others who’ve made it in the same industry. Actually do something everyday that promotes your idea. Not just thinking – doing.

Your Success Is Waiting…

The vision is already in your head, it’s just waiting to see the light of day. The only way that’ll happen is if you take baby steps.

Whether your vision is big or small (but it should be big), it needs to be broken down into manageable tasks. These are things that you can do daily to contribute to the bigger picture.

You don’t just lose thirty pounds in a day. Don’t let the size of the vision overwhelm you. Start drinking water in place of soda, or eat an apple instead of chips. The little things are what make the big things happen, but you must take action.

Your vision is done – it’s just waiting on you to fill in the blanks and complete it. All you need is the confidence to commit and follow through with your daily focus. Your commitment may become greater and your strategy may change, but it will lead to that magnificent vision you created for yourself and your future.

Be proactive! Every action you take brings you one step closer!

#TBT: Change Is Good

Routines are a good way to increase your productivity. Once you’re in the groove, it’s like clockwork. You’re able to get more done and spend your time efficiently.

We can get so set into a routine that we are afraid to change it. Things that you do everyday in a particular manner could be done in a better way.

So you’ve been doing it like this for years and it works for you. That’s great, but did you know that technology has developed a more streamlined way of doing it? You may not like it, but give it a chance. There are lots of productive ways we could be doing things because of technology. The goal is forward movement.

Also, when you give different things a chance, it juices up your brain. You’ve been on autopilot for so long, your mind probably needs a good jolt, just to keep it in shape. Something as simple as taking another route to work will do the trick. Even if you change the type of exercise you’re doing, that will force your brain and body to improve on a new level.

Adjusting your routine will also build your confidence. When you’re successful at changing your routine, it gives you that extra boost of courage, because you mastered it. It shifted your mind and you conquered that challenge. It lets you know that you can do anything. Even if it goes left, you can handle it.

Don’t allow change to scare you. People hear that word and they freeze because no one wants to go through the hassle of adjusting to something new. Change is good – it enhances your growth and can strengthen your daily productivity. All you have to do is give it a chance.