November 2020 - The Goalden Lady

Move Forward And Get Out Of Your Own Way

Have you ever heard of someone say, “Get out of your own way?” As backwards as it may sound, there is some truth to that saying.

Instead of deciding to move forward, we blame others for things that happen to us. We find comfort in complaining and pointing the finger. This makes things okay at the moment, but it does nothing for you in the long run.

Deal With It

There are situations that happen and we tend to hold on to them, as if it was our fault. Things like being laid off from a job or the loss of someone close to you can have a negative affect on you.

We all deal with different things in different ways, but sometimes, we allow it to keep us stuck. Missed the game-winning shot? Don’t carry that guilt with you forever. It happened – the only thing you can do is move forward and practice even harder.

Instead of moving forward and practicing harder, we often keep that hurtful replay in our minds as we continue to grow older. Now, it makes us afraid to take chances in situations where others are depending on us. Most of the time, no one else is willing to step up and take that chance because of the possible consequences of missing.

But what if you make it? What if you succeed at making the game-winning shot? Then, everyone loves you and sings your praises. They will tell others how they knew you could do it – what an awesome moment to remember!

If you miss, some people will be mad and come up with excuses as to why they knew you should have passed the ball.

Your Mind Will Hold You Back

As you keep the negative impacting thoughts and memories in your head, your confidence decreases and your attitude begins to suck. Just because it didn’t work the first time, doesn’t mean you can’t make it work the next time.

This is the part where you need to get out of your own way. No one is holding you back – it’s your mind and what you choose to think that’s holding you back.

Think on another level. Leave the negative voices and impeding thoughts behind. It may not seem like it, but you do have a choice and it is your right to move on and make progress.

Train your mind to accept challenges. Study how to follow through and become courageous again. Remember when you were a little kid and you believed you could do anything? You and your friends would spend all day building a rocket. There was nothing that stopped you, no matter how long it would take or how much material you lacked – you kept working on it until it became real!

As a kid, you weren’t in your own way. As a matter of fact, there was no such thing as limits. You would ALWAYS find a way to make it happen.

Move Forward And Find A Way

This is the same mindset you should have as an adult. Don’t allow others to identify what you can or can’t do. Many people get stuck in the opinion of others, but you don’t have to.

Practice shifting your mind from lack to abundance – from no to yes – from “I don’t think so” to “Yes, I can”.

Most importantly, put positive action to those positive ideas, build your confidence and step out of your own way.

#TBT: Be Grateful For The Little Things

Taking the time to be grateful for the simple things in our daily lives is something that we tend to overlook. Between work and distractions, it can be easy to forget.

By being mindful of the things you are grateful for, it lets you work from a place of sincerity. Instead of different things ticking you off, you allow it to pass, without it bothering you or disrupting your day.

5 Simple Things To Be Grateful For:

Breathing – It may seem simple, but someone didn’t get to wake up today, or they didn’t make it through the entire day. There are even people who have a hard time breathing on their own and depend on machines to assist them. Be thankful for the natural act of breathing.
Challenges – We normally call these ‘problems.’ Yes, you should be grateful for your challenges, as well. Challenges may be difficult, but they allow you to grow and give you confidence. If you can make it through a challenge, you can do anything.
Thoughts – Your thoughts give you the ability to be creative and think on your own. You can come to your own conclusions and set your own standards. Your thoughts are the blueprint to your life. As Napoleon Hill said, “Whatever your mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve.”
Family and Friends – You may not like some of your family, or you may be at odd with some of your friends, but no matter what kind of relationship you have, they had a part in shaping you. You picked up some good habits and some bad habits – you learned what to do and what not to do. Observing them helped you to become who you are.
Freedom – Being free, you are able to do what you want to do. Unlike jail, you can wake up when you want to, go to work if you want to, or chase an opportunity whenever you feel like it. The choice is yours because you are free. There are some people in the world who are still being held captive against their will. Be grateful that you are free and have control over your own life.

Be Thankful For Life

We don’t know when our time is up, so make everyday count and be grateful for what you are able to do. Instead of putting things off for tomorrow (because tomorrow never comes), be productive and do them today.

Wherever your life takes you, be thankful for the experience. Life has a way of making us feel like we’re the only ones when terrible things happen. There is someone who has been through your experience and you’re never the only one who is going through that situation.

Even when things aren’t going great, continue to fight. It’s hard, but be grateful that you are operating from a place of strength and will come out more powerful on the other side. The hard times are what make us who we are.

Always remember to be grateful in the good and the bad times. It all comes together to create the perfect you in the end.

#BeGoalden

Why Do We Think So Small?

The world is full of possibilities and attainable opportunities. The internet has made it easier for us to believe in our dreams coming true – or has it?

We think, “If only I had x, then I could do y.” Not too long ago, we could easily blame our circumstances for not completing a goal – we didn’t have access to resources that could help us win.

Now, we do have more information and access than we could’ve ever imagined. Yet, we still find little things to stop us from making progress. Why do we think so small?

Think

We live in a world where we are free to think and make a way for our ideas to come alive. At the same time, we allow the tiniest obstacles to stop us.

Before the internet, we didn’t have resources at our fingertips. If you wanted to do some research, you had to physically go to the library, or to a building that held the information you were looking for. Now, everything is online.

If it’s easier to obtain what we’re looking for, why is it that we’re still having trouble following through with our goals?

It Starts In The Mind

Whether you have resources at your immediate disposal or you have to get in a car and drive 30 minutes to retrieve information, it all starts in your mind.

It’s easy to say, “Oh, that’s too far – it’s raining – I don’t have enough gas to get there…”. Excuses are easy to come by. Persistence is what actually carries you to the point of completion.

No matter how difficult or easy something is to accomplish, your mind is the director of your actions. It may be simple to retrieve information nowadays, but the excuses are still there.

Some people will create new excuses, even if their situation was made easier for them to make progress. Making things harder than they really are is a trick being played from your mind. In some cases, the more access you have to make progress, the more excuses are made to impede your progress.

Thinking Small

Thinking small is easy. It doesn’t require any effort or extra pulling or pushing.

When you think big, you have to create a plan, overcome obstacles, have discipline and develop resilience. A lot of people don’t possess these qualities and that’s why they continue to think small.

Just because the internet made things easier, doesn’t mean the goal is any easier to achieve. You may not have to go to the library to do research, but following through is still an action you must take.

“You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink.”

No matter how much of an advantage we have with obtaining resources, it doesn’t matter until you take action. The only difference is, you save time with doing the research.

There are greater things we can do beyond what our minds can think. Don’t get stuck in the habit of thinking small – there are people out there who are making the impossible possible, all because they decided to follow through, challenges and all, and made it happen.

Never underestimate the power of thinking big. As Marianne Williamson wrote, “…your playing small does not serve the world…”. Don’t be your own worst enemy – think past your fear and get your ideas out to the world!

#TBT: Attitude Is Everything

Everyday, we have the chance to wake up and be our best. We don’t have to ask permission or be forced into an average mindset – we wake up as a blank slate. It’s the start of a new day and we get to choose how we go into it.

Exactly, what choice do we have? I can choose to start my day with good intentions. I can choose to start my day being sad. If something happened the night before that really angered me, I may choose to start the day mad because I remembered what happened the night before.

Once we choose how to start the day, it determines our attitude. To wake up being grateful is the perfect way to begin. Think of all the things you’re thankful for and you’ll immediately start the day with happiness.

On the other hand, if you had a bad day yesterday, try not to let it follow you into the next day. If you got a traffic ticket the day before, your attitude may not be the best. Don’t allow that attitude to carry over into the rest of the day or the following day.

A bad attitude has the ability to creep into your mind and live there. Every thought that comes into your head will be greeted with a negative vibe. You’ve already lost before you even begin to have a great personal thought.

Things happen. Your attitude is the measuring stick of your present feelings. If you’re having a great day, you have a great attitude. If you’re having a terrible day, you have a terrible attitude. Have an even, positive attitude no matter what happens. Sometimes we forget, but we do have that choice.

First, have awesome thoughts when you wake up in the morning. You will have a magnificent day – be positive about what may happen. Starting off with an angry attitude sets you up for a negative day. You may bring down a good mood in every room you walk into. Don’t be that person who sucks the energy out of a room because of a funky attitude.

Second, don’t allow a bad attitude to stick with you. Yes, it can be hard to get through the day after something has brought you down, but it doesn’t have to ruin your entire day. If someone passes away, it’s understandable that you’re sad – that’s something that will take a while to work through.

If someone is driving slow in front of you, it may be annoying, but you can adjust your attitude once the situation is over. Don’t carry it into work, lunch and into family time. It’s ridiculous because it is robbing you of an otherwise, potentially great day. Your family will see you being grumpy and it takes away from them (and it’s not even their fault!)

Also, having a terrible attitude may prevent an opportunity from coming your way. I’ve heard of many situations where someone was about to be offered an opportunity, but because of their attitude, it didn’t happen. You’ll never know when an opportunity may present itself, so always have a gracious and positive demeanor.

Another way is to know that each step you take, you’re about to walk into a different situation that deserves a fair shot. You wouldn’t want to see someone, say ‘hello’ and they just snarl at you for no particular reason. Even if you are about to do something you don’t like to do (for example, washing dishes), do it with a smile. It has to get done, so you may as well do it with a smile and make it as happy of a moment as you can.

Having a bad attitude doesn’t help anyone. If you can help it, why not have an awesome attitude whenever you can? It beats being down and giving off bad vibes. It is in your control to be the best you can be. If you don’t have to be a grump, don’t be a grump. Your day will be much better for making that impactful, small decision.

Self-Sabotage Is Holding You Back

Self-sabotage is when you set yourself up for failure. You become unconsciously satisfied with being your own enemy.

It seems backwards – don’t you want to be successful? Why would you run away from accomplishing your goals? Who doesn’t want to work towards a good life?

Your Level of Confidence

Being your own downfall begins with your self-esteem. Throughout life, you’ve become used to coming in last, being in the background or just being non-active.

Some people are born into environments that are anti-productive. This is a situation where you can respond one of two ways: you can become the opposite of your environment, or you can fall into it’s trap.

It’s difficult to go against the grain to become who you really want to be. When your surroundings don’t reflect a path to your vision, it becomes a challenge to fight against it. Even though gravity is pulling you down, you make an intentional effort to pull yourself up.

On the other hand, it’s easy to give in to what’s around you, good or bad. When you live in an unproductive environment, it starts to look normal. It weakens your self confidence and you accept the loser mindset. Your actions begin to mirror your poor self image and it causes self-sabotage.

Leave The Past In The Past

People make mistakes and bad decisions in life. Things can happen out of your control, but it’s your choice to either react or respond.

Another thing that causes self-sabotage is holding on to the past. Whatever happened may have been terrible, but you’re only hurting yourself when you constantly relive the memory and allow it to take up valuable space in your mind.

When you forgive, you’re not giving in to the person that hurt you, you’re allowing yourself to let go of the pain and move forward. Replaying the hurt as if it happened today is what holds you back. When you forgive someone, you free yourself – you take your life back and start to breathe again.

Holding on to the past contributes to self-sabotage. You’re prohibiting yourself from making progress because you’re stuck in that place. This leads to blaming others for your position in life, when really, all you have to do is let go and move on.

Forgiving is not as easy as it sounds, but it’s the only way to give yourself peace and reclaim your life.

Self-Sabotage Can Be Prevented

These are just a couple of ways that self-sabotage can destroy your progress. It can sneak in through various forms, but if you can recognize and prevent it from occurring, you’re one step ahead.

Instead of going with the flow with everyone else, think for yourself. Your choice may not be the most popular, but at least you know it’s how you want to operate.

Do the impossible. Always reach for goals that seem right outside of your grasp. Use your energy to stretch yourself to your potential. Don’t let anyone talk you out of your dreams – continue to increase your confidence (trust yourself), strengthen your mindset (listen to motivational speeches/podcasts and read inspirational books/blogs) and take productive action (learn from your mistakes and setbacks).

Don’t allow self-sabotage to take over your life. As you can see, some people live with it, yet, they don’t know why their lives are miserable or unlucky. When you decide to leave the past in the past, you can level up your surroundings, let go of what happened and create the future you dream of!

#TBT: Why Worrying Won’t Work

When unpleasant challenges arise, the first thing most people do is worry. It’s a reaction that lives on autopilot in your mind, ready to go when needed. Not only does worrying affect you on the inside, it affects how you perceive things on the outside. Let’s see why worrying won’t work.

Don’t be a Worry Wart. What is a Worry Wart? As soon as something out of the basic routine happens, you begin to stress about it.

“What’s going to happen?”
“Why did it happen?”
“Who did this to me?”
“What am I going to do?”

All types of questions, along with several negative emotions, start to run rampant in your mind.

This raises your stress levels. You begin to attempt to answer those questions in your mind. Nothing is working out in your favor. Is there a number to call? Is there someone you can speak to about the situation?

You want answers because you simply don’t know why this is happening to you. Therefore, you just continue to worry because you don’t know what else to do.

Sometimes, it’s simply something that you, the Worry Wart, did to yourself that caused the issue. After that, you can’t be mad and stressed about it anymore. Take responsibility and deal with the consequences.

On the other hand, it may have been a mistake that needs to be corrected. You follow instructions on how to fix the flaw and it’s done. No more worrying because you resolved it.

In both cases, your mind went into a frenzy because you didn’t know what was going on. There’s a way to save yourself from the stress of worrying, but it takes practice.

When you receive bad news or something happens out of your control, talk to someone or simply do the research. Spazzing out doesn’t help and most of all, it won’t solve your issue.

When you get emotional about things you can’t control, it affects your surroundings, as well. You may take it out on the kids, friends, and you’re unpleasant to be around. You’re just an all around grump until you figure out what’s going on.

That’s the thing – figure out what’s going on. That’s what needs to happen. You’re only making it worse for yourself and those around you.

Learn to respond, instead of react.

When you let your emotions get the best of you, it normally doesn’t end well. Not only does being emotional make it worse, you’re also not solving anything. Nothing gets done.

It’s normal to have an initial emotional reaction. Don’t let it overtake you into worry world. Start thinking about what you can do to help the situation or to solve the issue. Do what you can. If you can’t control it at the moment, leave it alone until you’re able to figure it out.

When you respond, you come out with better results. It works out for you and those around you. Sometimes, you’re unable to do anything about certain situations until a period of time has passed. There’s no need to put yourself and others through hell because in the end, you could be worrying about nothing.

Worrying won’t help. It only takes up your precious time and for some, can even lead to health problems. Do what you can and be calm enough so you can resolve the issue. Decide to respond around your emotions and not in your emotions. If you do this, you’ll have a better handle on taking care of what needs to be done.

3 Essential Habits That Lead To Making Progress

3 Essential Habits That Lead To Progress

It takes great effort to make things happen towards your goals. Sometimes, it happens in your favor and sometimes, it works against you.

The most important thing that matters is how you respond. Do you have the discipline to see it through, or will you remain lazy, hoping it will relieve you of that responsibility?

Making progress is the way forward to success, but you must have the right strategies in place. Here are 3 habits to help you towards making progress.

1. Keep Your Focus

Distractions are at work, 24/7 all around you. The news, social media, friendly gossip – it’s all there, waiting to steal your attention.

There’s no doubt that it can be difficult to look the other away when a train wreck is happening right in front of you (metaphorically). The more productive thing to do would be to keep your focus.

Stare straight ahead and continue forward. Your progress depends on your consistent effort and persistence. If you take your eyes off the prize, you’ll end up where the distraction wants you to be – nowhere.

Hold your concentration. See past those attention hoarders. The outcome to your goal is worth fighting for. Recognize the distractions, but always keep your focus.

2. Take Responsibility

Your decisions will direct the path of your life. Even when unexpected things happen, it’s still your job to adapt, adjust and keep moving.

Personal responsibility is hard for some people, but in the end, it’s worth having control over your own destiny. You can decide if you’re going to be stagnant, or be resourceful. Blaming someone else for your downfall won’t make it any easier. You still have to make the choice to get up and make the necessary changes.

Giving people power over your decisions and choices will only create the type of person they want you to be. Start thinking for yourself. Have your own opinion and theory about things, even if it doesn’t align with the masses. At least you know where you’re going and can change course whenever you feel the need.

3. Create Your Own Privilege

Do it yourself. Become self-reliant. Depend on no one.

You may see others who have privilege or a greater advantage than you, but insulting them won’t help your situation. Instead of giving in to the victim mentality and expecting someone to give it to you, start doing something for yourself.

There are parents who provide trust funds and inheritance for their children. Instead of being jealous, do the same for your kids. Start now and create generational wealth for your family. It doesn’t always take a winning lottery number or a stroke of luck to make a ton of money.

Realize that no one owes you anything, but you do owe it to yourself to make a way for your future heirs. Don’t get stuck just because someone else is already successful at it. Be the example that you wish you had and make it better for your family by creating your own privilege.

Progress Leads To Success

In the end, it all depends on how you respond to different situations and obstacles, the choices you make and how you prepare yourself for the future.

The biggest reward is being able to get through the journey. Keep making progress with these 3 habits and in no time, you will begin to grow into your greatness!

#BeGoalden

#TBT: Live Your Life Today

Whatever it is you want to accomplish in your life, do it. There may not be much time for you to contemplate.

Everyday is a chance to do what you want to do and make progress. Even if it is uncomfortable, the opportunity is there for the taking.

We think so far into the future, that we forget to do something today. Overthinking takes over our mental space and we end up doing nothing. Planning is essential, but starting is just as important.

If you knew what day would be your last, you would do everything you want to do, within that amount of time, especially if it was soon. That’s what makes time so precious because we don’t know how much of it we have left.

And that’s the catch – you don’t know when your last day is. Therefore, you must do your best today, as if tomorrow may not come.

So what if you mess up? So what if it didn’t turn out right? So what if only one person showed up? How many times are you going to let an outside force, stop you from reaching your goal?

The trolls, the gossip, the weird stares – none of that matters in the end. Don’t waste time thinking about that insult. Stop saying ‘yes’ to situations that allow you to float through life. Hold yourself accountable and do what you want to do. No one can live your dream the way you can because your dream is in your control.

We think so small of ourselves and give so much consideration and power to what other people think. Instead of praising others, praise yourself. Stop thinking that other people are always successful, you are successful, too! Stop thinking that good things only happen to other people, good things happen to you, too!

None of us are any better than the other – we are all human and we all have the ability to do something great. Some of us leave it up to other people to be great, but the capability is there. You just have to get up and do the work that it takes to be great.

Don’t let your time run out without making your mark. Put forth phenomenal effort daily. Regret is a painful feeling that no one should have to experience. The only way not to, is to live your life, everyday.

#BeGoalden

Procrastination And It’s Many Forms

Procrastination can take on many identities. It can show up as overthinking, waiting for the “perfect” time or by doing things that don’t really matter.

Procrastination is the act of constantly putting something off. Whether it’s an action or a thought, there’s something more important that causes you to make the excuse of not doing what needs to be done.

In reality, procrastination disguises itself with busy work and overstimulating thoughts. It tricks you into validating your excuses, instead of following through and moving the needle.

Overthinking

Have you ever had a tough time deciding what to do? The task is simple, but you make it difficult by thinking too far into the details?

This is what overthinking looks like: “I want to wear the red shirt, but it doesn’t match my shoes. I wish it was cooler outside – it would go great with those jeans I bought the other day. Did I buy this too big? Then again, I think I might return it to the store, but I really like it. Maybe I can exchange it for another size, but the store is an hour away…”

It goes on and on. Being indecisive and overthinking wastes time and causes inaction. Either you’re going to wear the shirt or take it back. Get in the habit of making a decision and sticking with it. If it’s the wrong decision, don’t procrastinate more by beating yourself up about it – just make another decision and go with it.

The “Perfect” Time

Waiting on the “perfect” time to start is complete nonsense. There is no “perfect” time. The time to start is always now.

This is what waiting for the “perfect” time looks like: “I’ll start writing my book after that new computer goes on sale. Let me eat everything I want and then I’ll begin my new diet on Monday. It’s raining today and rain makes me feel lazy – I’ll do my chores next week. My homework is due tomorrow, but my friends are coming over right now – I’ll do it after they leave.”

The “perfect” time is causing your procrastination and it’s an easy trap to fall into. What are you waiting for? The circumstances may be right when you think about it, but it’s also harder to follow through when you constantly put things off. Don’t get in a routine of waiting for the “perfect” time to do something – the best time is always now.

Doing Things That Really Don’t Matter

Sometimes, we even create busy work to make it seem like we’re not procrastinating. We think of odd things to do, in order to cover up what needs to be done.

This is what doing things that really don’t matter look like: “I would start on that new project, but first, let me clean my desk. I’ll do my taxes, but I need to paint the garage, first. I’ll start drawing the blueprint for tomorrow’s meeting after I update my phone.”

Understandably, there may be an order to things, but don’t take it for granted when something important needs to get done. Painting the garage isn’t an essential chore compared to doing your taxes. Busy work doesn’t necessarily equate to productive work. If there’s a deadline, procrastinating by doing busy work won’t make it go away. Fight the urge to do non-important tasks and push forward towards the constructive ones.

Beating Procrastination

Have the discipline to beat procrastination. Do the work now and make it better as you go along. No matter how you feel, look forward to completing the task at hand – you’ll always feel better after you’re done.

Let’s be more productive and move the needle. Time waits for no one. There are many opportunities that are missed when we procrastinate. Start thinking more “just do it,” and less “I’ll do it when…” Train your mindset to take action and make things happen!