May 2020 - The Goalden Lady

#TBT: Mind Your Thoughts

Your mind is everything. It is the control center of your existence. No matter what you think, you have the power to make it so.

Average thoughts will get you average results. If you’re thinking, why not think on an elevated level? If someone asks you how much money you want, would you tell them $2? No, you would tell them $2 million (or more)!

It doesn’t hurt to think small. It doesn’t hurt to think big. If you have a choice, you may as well think BIG.

Just because you think it, doesn’t mean it will automatically happen. After you think it, you must put in the work. The ideas behind your thoughts have to come to life.

This is what thinking big entails – it’s the continuous process of ideas and their outcomes. Don’t be scared and stop after the first idea didn’t work. That’s just your cue to keep going until you find what works. There will be times where you’ll need to adapt and adjust until you reach your desired result.

Your brain is a tough piece of matter. It can go on and on, thinking different ideas as long as you allow it. Don’t get sensitive and stop thinking, because something didn’t work out. Think it out and see where those thoughts take you.

Patience is key. When you’re working on your ideas, some won’t work the way you envisioned it. That is totally fine, because that eliminates what doesn’t work. Now, you can come up with another idea. It may not work. That’s two ways it didn’t work. Keep going.

You are the one in control of your own thought process.

You could stop thinking whenever you feel like it, but why would you? This is how unique and creative ideas are born and brought to light. All you have to do is allow the process to move you forward.

Don’t let your thoughts guide you in a negative direction. If you think the outcome may be bad, simply think of something else that will give you a more positive outcome. Sometimes, you take a risk on your choice.

Taking a risk is like taking a gamble on your choices. That’s why it’s called a ‘risk,’ because you’re taking a chance and you’re willing to accept the outcome, whether it’s good or bad. Taking risks is a personal choice, but whatever you choose to do, be sure that you are okay with the outcome, either way it goes. Don’t take a risk if going to jail is a possibility and you know you don’t want to go to jail. If it’s something worth going to jail for, you must be okay with that, because it is a real consequence.

So, please, don’t stop thinking. If it’s a negative thought, dump it. Act on the positive thoughts. Those ‘a-ha’ moments are telling you something. Listen to them.

#BeGoalden

Our Deepest Fear by Marianne Williamson

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine as children do. It’s not just in some of us; it is in everyone and as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

#BeGoalden

#TBT: If You Want To Succeed, Learn To Level Up

(Written pre-COVID19)

In some parts of the world, it’s ‘back to school’ time and students are preparing to level up – everyone is getting ready for the next grade. This means that the work may be a bit more challenging, but you’re expected to learn and make progress.

Once we leave school, moving forward to the next level (or, the next grade) stops. There’s no one there to care if we continue to advance to the next part of our lives.

The Process Of Leveling Up

In school, you were given a certain curriculum to complete for whatever grade you were in. If you did the work and passed the tests, you were promoted to the next grade.

Every grade demands another level of intelligence and presents a new set of challenges. The ultimate goal is to get to the next grade, successfully.

Every year, you would be promoted to the next grade and learn something that built upon what you learned the year before. It was a process that allowed you to achieve your academic goals, while increasing your thinking skills.

What Happened?

After graduating from the final phase of school, we settled into working a job, paying bills and living for the weekend. There were no more levels for us to accomplish.

School may have it’s faults, but one thing it did teach was the value of having levels in your life. Having levels in your life, like school, helps you to focus on moving forward and making major strides in your life.

The most we do now is make New Year’s resolutions. For most of us, that only lasts until the end of January and the rest of the year is uneventful.

As adults, we don’t plan different levels and phases of our lives. We tend to just ‘wing it’ and hope for the best. At most, we do just enough to get by and that leads to surviving, as opposed to living.

There Are Levels To Life

Even though we’re happy to be out of school, we don’t go on to live a happy, productive life. No one is holding us accountable to go to the next level, so we’re stuck on that one level where school left off.

In order to succeed at anything in life, you must create a system of levels. Writing down your goals are great, but once you figure out what to do, you have to take action and follow through.

Taking action will lead to mistakes and things going wrong. Once you overcome that challenge, you’re on to the next level. This is where progress is made and goals are accomplished.

Have A System In Place

Create a strategy for your goals. Keep a record of what works and what doesn’t. Build on your progress by measuring your results.

If you want to lose 2 pounds a week, write down what you will eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner, for each day of the week. Keep track of what you actually ate, compared to what you were supposed to eat. When you review your results, you can make adjustments to do better the following week.

Having a system in place will hold you responsible and give you direction. When you write it down and record your outcomes, you can easily determine how to proceed more efficiently in the future.

After graduating from school, never stop learning – be a student of life. Put a system in place to keep advancing towards your dreams. Hold yourself accountable and keep following through. Continue to level up until you have the life you’ve always imagined!

#BeGoalden

Dealing With Your Flaws And Mistakes

Who do you look up to? Have you ever seen them make a big mistake while performing their craft? Did they expose a flaw you didn’t know they had?

Whether it’s a celebrity, someone who owns a Fortune 500 company, or old Joe from down the street, everyone has flaws and makes mistakes. It may be embarrassing at the time, but it’s something we have to learn to get over.

Your Feelings Get In The Way

Everyone has had an embarrassing moment that they wished never happened. Even Oprah took a dive on stage at an event, but got back up and continued her talk.

We see people like Oprah and we think nothing of it, because they’re well known, so it doesn’t matter. Did it faze her? Maybe a little, but not enough to stop her. Was she physically hurt? Probably so, but she didn’t let it get in the way of what she was doing.

Are you the same way? Most people let their feelings get in the way, even if the situation is not that bad. When something happens that causes you to feel some kind of way, you want to run and hide. No one likes to be the center of attention in their moment of pain.

Flaws Exist In Everyone

Embarrassment is too much to handle when we don’t know how to respond. What if Oprah would’ve left in the middle of her talk because she felt annoyed at falling down in front of a crowd?

Having flaws is a part of life. Messing up happens along the journey. Making mistakes is how we learn. The best way to respond is to move on, without remaining stuck in that moment.

If you need to apologize, then apologize. If you need to correct it, correct it. Giving your energy to something that has already happened can lead to halting your progress. Continue to be productive – there’s no need to hold on to the past with your feelings.

Be Calm And Carry On

Most of the time, it’s only a big deal if you make it a big deal. Imagine stopping every time you felt incapable or you made a mistake – you would never accomplish anything.

Focus your energy on the results that you want. Anticipate the obstacles and challenges, because they will happen. Be your own super hero and fight through whatever gets in your way! It may slow you down, but it shouldn’t stop you.

Unfortunately, setbacks never go away, but they do make you stronger. It helps you to become more flexible when the unexpected happens. Develop the habit of making adjustments when things go left and it will work to your advantage.

Handle your flaws, and everything in between, with grace. You have the power to thrive in any situation, even in those embarrassing moments. Don’t be distracted and react – face it with confidence and continue to move forward, mistakes, flaws and all.

#BeGoalden

#TBT: Distractions That Work Against Your Attention

We all encounter distractions and nonsense on a daily basis. Whether it’s at work, on TV or on social media, it’s always there, fighting for our attention.

As a result, we’ve become immune to it. It’s doesn’t present a challenge to us any more because we’re so used to it. Becoming used to it has given us permission to just deal with it and to allow it into our minds.

Where Is Your Attention Going?

Here are a few ways you’re working against yourself and how you can work towards doing better.

You have your notifications on. When you’re working, your attention is supposed to be focused on what’s in front of you, 100%. As soon as you hear a ‘ting’, you look up to see who or what it’s about. Someone just posted another funny cat video. Now, your attention is broken and it will take a considerable amount of time to get it back. Turn off those notifications! It can wait until you’re done.
You overindulge yourself with information. Yes, it is critical to do research and collect information for what you’re doing, but sometimes, it can be too much. If you want to learn how to sew, do enough research to start. You don’t have to watch 50 videos and read 50 websites to take action. Look up the necessary information and go out and do it! Getting caught up in being a professional researcher only allows for procrastination and when you procrastinate, you don’t start!
You leave your mind open to anything. Your mindset is the most important asset you own. It’s good to have an open mind, but determine what is useful and what needs to go. Stop letting garbage enter your mind. It could be in the form of gossip, reality TV, social media, etc. Control what goes into your mind. If you plant good seeds, they will grow. If you plant bad seeds, they will also grow (weeds), but which would you prefer? It affects your attitude and your day when you consume garbage. Take in some motivational videos, get around good people and have meaningful conversations.
You hit snooze every morning. Just wake up. Why do we fight waking up every single morning? That’s the first struggle of many throughout the day. Whenever you hit the snooze button, you never get more sleep. Figure out whether an earlier bedtime would help, a cold shower or a cleaner diet, but whatever it is, see how you can avoid that daily battle. It sets the tone for the rest of the day and it allows for a stressful start. It’s easier said than done, but it shouldn’t be overlooked. Develop a better routine to greeting your day.

It’s Your Decision

Not only will these things cause you to work against yourself, they cause anxiety, as well. You can blame it on other factors, but you have power over what you do and how you do it. Even if you’re unable to control your environment, you can still make adjustments. Don’t just sit there and take it.

Fighting against yourself and being counterproductive is all on you. Decide what goes into your mind, decide to take action and decide to work fully focused. You can control all of these things. All it takes is a present mindset and intentional action. You can do it!

#BeGoalden

What Does It Take To Be A Success?

Success is something that everyone wants to experience. It motivates you to do more, opens doors of opportunity and gives you proof that anything can be done.

The process of getting to success seems easy, but it all starts with how you think and respond to certain situations. You need to have a positive mindset before you begin any goal, if you plan to succeed.

The Success Mindset

Before you start anything in life, it’s important to know where your mind is. Are you in a good space, mentally? Do current events have an effect on you or the way you think? Are you able to see past the distractions and focus on what needs to be done?

If you have a scarcity mindset, it will work against you. It guides you into thinking the worst of every situation and if you do that, you’ve already lost. This type of thinking never produces success. Think in abundance and be optimistic. If you’re going to think, think the best.

Put the negative thoughts to rest. It doesn’t make sense to stop yourself before you start, so give yourself the benefit. Anything can be done – it’s been proven many times over in different situations throughout history. Your job is to believe it and follow through with the details.

Building Your Success Story

What is your story? How do you want it to end?

Visualizing the plan to reach your goals will help tremendously. If you’re unable to see it in your mind, how can you begin to take action towards it?

Find a quiet space to visualize your success. Sit comfortably and take a few deep breaths. Close your eyes and imagine with certainty, the path you’ll take to become successful. Smell it, feel it, taste it, see it and hear it all. Play this in your mind, just like a movie and you’re the star – you’re in full control.

Spend time doing this exercise daily. It doesn’t have to take long, but it connects your journey from your mind to reality. You are the director of your movie, therefore, you can make anything happen.

See it and believe it.

Taking Action And Making It Happen

It doesn’t end there. The next step is taking action and making it happen.

Most people think that once they believe it, everything should fall into place and they’ll magically become a success. Reading inspiring books and following a morning ritual helps, but there’s still work to do.

Getting started is the most important part of taking action. Don’t overthink it, just begin. You may think that everything needs to be perfect, but it doesn’t have to be – learn and correct it as you go along. There’s always a convenient reason to procrastinate. Put one foot in front of the other and keep improving.

Things will happen. Don’t let a bump in the road throw you off course. Figure out what needs to be done and keep going. It may take an hour or it may take a week, but in order to make progress, you’ll have to get past these challenges.

If you get stuck, ask for help. Whether it’s someone you know who has experience, or an online platform, use your resources to get the answer. Giving up is the easy way out, but you’ll only have to keep starting over if you quit. Do what you have to do, to complete the task.

The Magic Is In The Journey

When you’ve finally reached your success and begin planning the next steps, you’ll realize a couple of things.

First, success isn’t final. It’s not something you achieve once and it remains for the rest of your life. Success takes upkeep. It can slip away from you easier than it came. Keep setting higher goals and working towards it, or it’ll stop completely.

Secondly, the journey is what makes you. Success is awesome, but the magic is in the journey. All of the obstacles, learning different strategies and stretching your potential is what brought you here – success is just the cherry on top.

Once you’ve developed these skills, you can be successful repeatedly, no matter how different your end goal is. The knowledge you gained throughout the process is what’s important. Take that knowledge, apply it to everything you do and create a successful life!

#BeGoalden

#TBT: The Struggle Is Necessary

When you’re going through a struggle, it seems like everything is going down hill. You see no way for things to get better. There is no sign of hope, no matter where you turn.

The important thing is to keep going. Don’t give up on getting past the obstacle. It may last a week or a year, but you must see it through to the end. Close that chapter of your life so you can move on and continue to make progress.

It’s easier said than done, but surely you want to be on the other side, doing a victory dance. How you react to your struggle has an effect on how you handle things in your life, overall. There are three parts in a struggle where you can stop. Take a look and decide where you want to be:

The beginning. When a struggle first appears, it can be scary. Unless it’s something you’ve been through and you know how to deal with it, it can be difficult finding a solution. This is where some people stop. The struggle hasn’t even begun and they automatically make the assumption that they can’t do it – it’s too hard. This response promotes complacency. They’ll likely be stuck in the same rut for the rest of their lives.
The middle. Some people will give it a shot. They’ll start the process and gain a little momentum. When another challenge comes up, they’ll acknowledge it, but if nothing happens, they give up. When progress slows down, they slow down along with it. Nothing happens because they stopped putting in the effort to push forward. They never witness the breakthrough that was around the corner.
The end. Few people get to the end. Those that do, are rewarded greatly. There may have been countless struggles within the big struggle, but they stood their ground and kept moving forward. They may have even slowed down, but they never quit. These are the people who have their mind set on success. They can close that chapter in their book and take on the next necessary struggle in their journey.

Struggle happens to everyone – there’s no way around it, but to go through it. There are even struggles where you make the decision to cut your losses and move on to something else. Just because it’s a struggle doesn’t mean you have to go through it, but it has to be the struggle that relates to your end goal. There will be times where you’ll know, “This isn’t the right one.”

At the same time, whenever a struggle presents itself, don’t quit before you start. Just because it came at the wrong time doesn’t mean you instantly dismiss it. Know what struggle to take on. If it’s something that will get you closer to your goal, go for it. If it has nothing to do with what you’re dealing with, it’s okay to let it go.

Sometimes, people take on other people’s struggles as their own. It’s enough to handle your own challenges, let alone, taking on someone else’s. Know your struggle and let others handle theirs.

Your struggle is the way to your accomplishments.

That’s the path to your future. Every successful person has a story about how they got to where they are. If you avoid your struggle, you are ignoring the responsibility of creating the outcome of your life.

Don’t look at your struggle as an inconvenience. We see it as a bad thing, but once you master it, it gives you the ability to operate on a higher level in the future. It’s forcing you upward, towards your greatness. Success is the reward for overcoming potential defeat.

The struggle is necessary. Don’t be so comfortable or conceited that you refuse to go through it. Decide to move forward one step at a time. It’s always worth it in the end.

#BeGoalden

Attaching Yourself To Other People’s Problems

Do you take on other people’s problems? Is your life really overwhelming, or do you make it overwhelming? There’s a fine line between accepting your own challenges and accepting everyone else’s.

Your friend tells you what happened and they want your advice. At work, your co-worker confides in you about issues at home. Everyday, you get a dose of other people’s problems.

Are other people’s problems really your mountains to climb? Do you carry the baggage with you, even though it’s not yours?

O.P.P. (Other People’s Problems)

Everyone has issues. We’re all attempting to navigate this life the best we can. How can you be effective at finding a solution for yourself, when you’re bombarded with other people’s problems?

There is a certain point where you need to be selfish with your advice. You must cut yourself off from being involved in their drama. It’s nice to offer a listening ear, but don’t get emotionally attached to the entire situation.

Showing concern is the polite thing to do. It’s interesting and you want to know how it goes and what happened. This can go on and on – it’s like a soap opera happening in real time. At times, it can sound more exciting than your own life.

Other people’s problems can easily become a hobby of yours. People like to come to you all of the time because you offer great guidance. Don’t let their situations consume your mind space. It’s easy to become too curious – their problems become your problems and their emotions become your emotions.

It’s not rude to break away for your own sanity. Once you’re done talking and providing a listening ear, leave it there. Go on about your life and do what you’re going to do. The next time you see them, be considerate, but don’t take it with you.

Focus On What’s In Front Of You

What are you doing now? Are you fully present with focus, or is your mind distracted by other floating thoughts?

That’s what happens when you take on the mental weight of your friend’s issues. We tend to think about others before we think of ourselves. It makes us feel like we’re helping them and they need us.

The issues that you’re dealing with in front of you need a solution. When you allow your mind to drift, you’re not being fair to yourself. Put other people’s problems (that don’t belong to you) to the side and concentrate on you.

Don’t carry confusion with you from one place to another. Pay attention to the present moment and give it your all. You’re wasting time and energy by trying to solve mysteries that don’t belong to you.

The Side Effects Of O.P.P.

Making yourself accessible to others can be emotionally draining. The feelings that go into these situations can literally wear you down. Limit your availability to the drama in other people’s lives.

If you let it, it will become your issue and others will look to you to create a solution for them, as well. It’s no longer their challenge to overcome. You must draw the line and give them space to handle it themselves. Again, it’s not your mountain to climb.

Learn to step away. Leave the baggage where you found it. Move on with your intentions and be fully present with what you’re facing. Don’t defeat yourself, by trying to help everyone else win.

Everyone has to be responsible for their own issues. You can help every now and then, but don’t become the problem-solver for them. Be a good listener, offer a helpful word and leave it there. You can be supportive of others without taking on their challenges. Bring your focus back to being effective and forward moving with your own life.

#BeGoalden