January 2020 - The Goalden Lady

#TBT: Make The Decision To Believe In Yourself

If you are the type of person who has no problem with believing in yourself, you’ve pretty much already won at life. For those of us who have a bit more trouble…

Are you aware of this massive power that you have in your possession? Everyday when you wake up, you can decide to be as courageous or as cowardly as you want to be.

Some of us allow outside influences to make that decision for us, so we just go with the flow. Whatever happens, happens.

There are others of us who make that decision every single day and we choose to be as happy and confident as we want to be. Nothing’s going to bring us down — we can handle it!

Why can’t we all be that way?

We are all born into different environments. Some grew up in a loving, forward-thinking home and others grew up in a negative, stagnant way of thinking home.

When your surroundings are positive and motivating, it’s easy to believe in yourself. Everyone is always rooting for you and they acknowledge your efforts.

When your surroundings are negative, there is no acknowledgement for anything. Everyone is stuck in the same place, with the ‘it’s always been like this,’ mentality. The possibility of doing any better is nonexistent.

Although your environment doesn’t determine your outcome 100%, it does play a major part.

It’s hard to go against the grain in a bad environment. The easy way out would be to accept what everyone else is doing and continue to ‘go with it.’

The harder thing to do is be proactive. Even when people say negative things to you 20 times a day, you find a way to turn it around.

“I won’t give in.”
“I can break the cycle.”
“I can do better than this.”
“I don’t want to end up like them.”

This is what pushes you ahead. Although they keep telling you that you’re no better than them, you believe that you are and you can do better.

On the other hand, some people believe in themselves so much, they abuse it and think they can do whatever they want.

When you become used to things turning out in your favor, your efforts can become lazy. You don’t stop after success happens — you have to put in even more effort to keep it going.

As you can see, your environment can work for you or against you. Some people want to break out of their negative environment so bad, they do the total opposite of what’s around them.

Others come from such a positive environment, they expect people to believe in them everywhere they go. When they come across a set of people who really don’t care, they become depressed and fall into a trap of believing what others say about them.

These scenarios don’t happen with everyone, but again, the environment does have an effect on a person’s self-belief.

Let’s teach our children to believe in themselves, no matter what others say or think about them. Teach them that everyone is not going to be encouraging of everything they do. Some people will tease them just to get under their skin.

Most of all, teach them that their self worth is not determined by what others think. Believing in yourself can be difficult, but with the right foundation and mindset, we can push ourselves farther than our thoughts can take us.

Just make that decision every morning. I am courageous. I am beautiful. I am helpful. I am worthy. I am powerful.

Don’t wait for permission (you don’t need it) or for somebody else to tell you (you know it better than they know it). Believe it!

Starting Over Sucks, But It’s Also An Opportunity

Starting over sounds like the end. “Why me? What did I do to deserve this?” These are the types of emotional questions you ask yourself when things go left in your life. Nothing seems to go your way and it feels like there’s no way out.

Starting over may feel like a waste of time, but what if we could use it to our advantage? How can we turn this around? Is it possible to create another opportunity for yourself?

Starting Over Is Overwhelming

You may have been laid off from a job, gotten a divorce or even lost yourself through a set of events. We expect life to go as planned, but when things are going good, it sneaks up on us and turns everything upside down.

Whatever misfortune has happened, it feels like a nightmare that never ends. All of your thoughts are rushing in your head, trying to figure out how to get back on track without losing even more. You become a mental mess.

Time isn’t moving fast enough. It’s overwhelming and stressful. Anxiety kicks in and takes over your body. You immediately begin to think the worst because you were doing so well. What do you do, now?

Begin Starting Over As Soon As Possible

After you’ve had a mental and physical break down, take a moment to actually create a plan. Something has to go, but it won’t go until you push it.

Even if this whole thing wasn’t your fault, the responsibility of moving forward belongs to you. The only way you will make progress is if you get up and move on.

Don’t stay stuck in the victim role. At some point, you must decide to take your life back and lead it to where you want it to go. This is your opportunity to make changes and guide yourself to where you really want to be. At this point, the only way is up.

Get up. Move forward, even if you have to take baby steps. Doing something is better than doing nothing. You owe it to yourself to see where your potential will take you. Change your thoughts from “why me,’ to “why not me?”

Life Is For The Taking

Get your mind back to thinking constructive thoughts. This is your story and you have the power to write the next chapter and turn it into an award-winning piece of work.

Allowing things outside of your control to manipulate how you operate is self-sabotage. How can you expect greatness if you don’t give direction to your own goals? Letting life happen on it’s own is not the answer. You must make the plan and work it.

Empower yourself. Strengthen your mindset and get around encouraging people. Read and listen to positive books and speeches. Use your resources to start over and turn your life around.

You Must Save Yourself

It may seem like a long road is ahead of you, but you must accept what it is and get started. You can wallow in disbelief or you can fight for the life you deserve.

Give yourself time to grow and make adjustments. The time will pass – the question is will you use it wisely and make it count, or will you sit in self-pity and watch it pass you by?

Find that job you’ve always wanted, be the person you want to attract or get out of your own way and be who you are. Find that magnificence in you and walk into it. Life may have happened to you, but by moving forward one step at a time, you can make it happen your way.

#BeGoalden

Is Overthinking Slowing Down Your Progress?

It happens to the best of us – we get stuck in our thoughts and we end up not doing anything at all, due to overthinking. That simple, yet difficult, decision can take days to figure out.

Stop pondering and wondering. Take a position and act on it. Riding the fence will not help and it only feeds into being indecisive. Life doesn’t always give second chances, so we must gain ground when we can.

Overthinking Causes Regret

Have you ever thought about a time when you should have done something, but instead, you let the opportunity slip away? What made you procrastinate or shy away from that chance?

More than likely, it was overthinking. When you have a choice to make, it shouldn’t take days to decide. We get caught up in our feelings and we move based on emotions or by what others think. Later, we beat ourselves up because we didn’t take action on that choice. The opportunity has passed for someone else to take advantage.

Regret happens the older you get, so don’t act on the way you feel. Be a robot, eliminate your emotions and perform consistent actions based on your goal – that’s how you reach success.

If you do that, you no longer have to wonder or face the irritation of regret.

Overthinking Ignites Fear

Another reason we tend to overthink is because we are scared of the results we may encounter.

No one wants to be a loser, but remember: you never lose, you learn. Once you understand this, overthinking won’t be such a challenge.

The fear of something not going the right way, or the fear of ‘what if’, will always be there to haunt you. What you have to do is remove that fear by moving forward and being committed to the outcome, whatever it may be. You can always go back and improve.

Everyone experiences fear. The difference is, some people will allow it to paralyze them and others will follow through and do it anyway. Win or learn, those that never give up always end up on the right side of achievement.

Is Your Ego The Issue?

Your ego is that voice in your head that talks you into or out of doing certain things. It gives you feelings of courage or discouragement. Listening to your ego can be good if you choose to listen to the positive side.

To some, having an ego isn’t good. People who have strong egos are said to be arrogant, full of themselves or overconfident. Actually, it doesn’t seem so bad to believe strongly in yourself. Besides, if you don’t believe in yourself, who will?

Others whose egos aren’t as strong, are the ones who overthink. They let the soft side of their ego hold them back, as opposed to jumping in and learning as they go. To make them feel better, they call others with confidence vain or cocky. Don’t let your ego consume your mindset with weakness and fear.

Take A Position And Decide

It doesn’t matter if you end up making the wrong decision – you can correct it along the way, while continuing to make progress. Being stagnant with your decision-making only enhances your overthinking.

Take a chance, jump off the porch, dive in – do whatever you think is the best at the moment, but by all means, move! Overthinking is the death of progress and success. You don’t gain anything from wasting time, worrying about whether to go left or right.

Free your overthinking mind from unnecessary stress and anxiety. It doesn’t take much to consider your choices and act. Don’t make it harder than it is. Move with certainty and boldness and claim your future without regrets!

#BeGoalden

3 Strategies For Creating A Productive Day

Throughout the day, we experience various situations that affect us. There are things that occur out of our control, yet, we allow it to navigate our daily lives.

If you want to have a productive day, you must put forth the effort to create it. Many times, we get up in the morning and we go wherever the day takes us. There are 3 strategies that can contribute to you having a more focused and productive day.

Start Having A Productive Day

Know what needs to be done and do it. Creating a schedule, or a list of things to do, will work for your benefit. If you let the day lead you, there’s no guarantee that it will be productive. Direct your day and complete the tasks that need to be done. Don’t be wasteful with your time. Things may happen out of the blue and some of it may not get done, but making a physical effort will get you farther than having no plan at all.
Change your language. When we wake up in the morning, most of us are thinking, “It’s going to be a long day – I really don’t feel like going to that meeting – another day, another dollar…” That’s the language of defeat – no wonder your days haven’t been productive. Words have power, but when you give that power away with your negative language, it will work against you all day. Be grateful when you awake. Speak positive by saying things like, “Today is the day – everything will work in my favor – I will make today great!” Don’t just say it, feel it and make it happen. Be happy that you get another opportunity to enhance your life the way you want to.
Adjust your emotions. Many times, we go off of our emotions when different things happen. We allow our environment to determine how we feel. If someone is mad about something, that doesn’t mean you have to be mad, too. Let it go and focus on having a good day. If you get a speeding ticket, don’t let it take over your day, or your week, by continuously being angry. You do have a choice to let the little things go by not allowing it to consume your life at the moment. Don’t let 15 minutes of bitterness hold you hostage for the rest of the day. Feel it, let it go and move on.

Playing Mental Defense

All of these strategies will take time to work into your life. When you allow outside factors to control and dictate how you move, your productivity becomes nonexistent. It’s your choice to make, whether you want to take advantage of the day ahead of you, or if you will let it flow with the wind.

Be prepared for when things happen out of your control. Play mental defense when it comes to Negative Nancy’s, social media and gossip. You know the distractions are out there and it’s going to happen, so be ready to respond constructively.

As long as you know what you need to do, change your self-talk and play productive defense, you will become successful at creating a more productive and positive day. Remember: control the day – don’t let the day control you.

#BeGoalden

Intention Will Get You Farther Along Than Hope

It’s the beginning of the New Year and everyone has a resolution. Most resolutions are created in the spirit of the event, but very few are realized in real life with intention and focus.

What normally happens is, we begin to hope. We hope that we can lose weight or we hope that we can make more money. Hope doesn’t do what intention will do.

How Far Can Hope Take You?

When we’re young, people often ask us what we want to do when we become adults. No one ever tells us the details in order to get to that destination.

This leads us to hoping and wishing for the desired result. If we don’t know any other way to become what we want to be, we don’t don’t how to take the necessary steps to get there.

You can hope all you want, but the only thing that will change is the amount of time you’ve wasted. A car that doesn’t move doesn’t go anywhere. Thinking about the destination won’t magically get you there and hoping won’t either.

Hope is a good place to start, but it won’t carry you to your end goal. Now, we must connect our hope to intention. When the connection is made, things will start to happen and you will see more opportunities to grow.

Intention Involves Work

Intention is where the real work begins. Doing things on purpose builds your character and allows you to design your own path to success, with confidence.

Do you hope to win the game or do you practice in order to have the best advantage to win the game? Will you hope to read two books in one month, or will you come up with a strategy to read two books in one month?

The difference is night and day. Hope feels good in your mind, but intention will actually exercise your mind to get to where you want to be.

With intention, you know what you’re going to do and how you’re going to do it. You create a deadline and you think of alternate ways of following through. If you don’t make your deadline, you intentionally keep going anyway.

Be intentional with your free time. Create strategies to reach your achievements. We see successful people, but we don’t see the intentional work that went into their accomplishments.

How To Be Intentional

Understand that being intentional will take work (that’s why it’s called intention, not hope). Make your habits a daily practice in your life, so that you are making progress, everyday.

Make a detailed plan and put aside time to do productive work. This means actually doing the small things that will eventually lead to the big things. Don’t hope you’ll start walking this week, actually get out the door and walk to the end of the street.

Even if you don’t have the appropriate gear, it shouldn’t stop you. There are some things you have to do or figure out along the way, but the most important thing is to start.

All you need to do now, is walk everyday to the end of the street. As the days continue, go farther to develop your stamina and endurance. This is how you develop a habit with intention, which will lead to reaching your goals. There’s no other way to get there – you must simply make a detailed plan, put in the time and DO IT!

Stack The Odds In Your Favor

Nothing happens just because. People accomplish what they set out to do by being intentional and deliberate with their habits. Again, you may see their success, but you never see the details that produced it.

Make it where you will see progress in your life. Only you can force yourself to have better focus, discipline and consistency. Demand more from yourself than others. Know that it won’t get done, unless you take on the personal responsibility and do it.

Instead of looking at the next year, concentrate on today, this week, next month or the next ninety days. Once you begin, you’ll see results within a month and definitely in a year.

Don’t cheat yourself. Be productive on purpose, but most of all, be more intentional than hopeful.

#BeGoalden

How Creating Better Habits Can Prevent Future Problems

By not having strong habits in place, we can become our own worst enemy. Potential obstacles can be a challenge, but it can be handled effectively, beforehand, with the right effort.

Little things that we tend to overlook for too long, can become big distractions. If we aren’t careful, snowballs can become avalanches and spiral out of control.

Yet, some of it is in our control. There are many situations we can prevent from happening, but we must intentionally practice building our habits in a productive way.

Weak Habits Won’t Help

Building powerful habits can help you avoid falling into small, predictable traps. By procrastinating on the little things and putting them off, you forget about it and then it becomes a bigger issue that should have never happened.

Let’s take paying monthly bills, as an example. Most bills are due at the same time, every month. We know this, but we’re so used to the thought of it being due, that it slips our minds and we forget to pay it on time (or some of us just ignore it completely).

Before you know it, the lights have been turned off, due to our lack of attention. Now, we have to make phone calls and wait for the services to be restored. Late fees have to be paid and we may have to wait 3 business days before they can turn them back on.

Time and money have been lost, due to weak habits.

It Happens In All Areas Of Life

You know what needs to be done, but for whatever reason, you decide to procrastinate and do it later. It doesn’t just happen with bills – it happens in all areas of our lives.

The diet that was supposed to start today, doesn’t start because you didn’t prepare for it. You’re still eating entire pizzas and cheeseburgers for lunch and dinner. In your mind, you’ll start tomorrow, but you need just one more day.

Every weekend, you’re still shopping online and buying what you want. That’s fine for some people, but if you want to improve your life and you keep telling yourself that you’re going to save money, that’s not going to work.

How To Advance Your Habits

Everything seems simple in your mind, but it’s hard to do when it comes to taking action. If you want to make a change for the better, here’s what you need to do:

First, make the commitment. You’ve already done that part in your mind, but now, you must physically act on it. Your commitment to yourself should be held to a high standard. Give yourself consequences, if that helps. If you eat that doughnut, you must do 50 push ups. Think before you procrastinate.

Secondly, prep yourself. Put your bills on auto-pay. Get rid of the junk food in your house. Put internet controls on your computer to limit your lazy time. When you prep yourself, you put yourself in a better position to be successful.

Third, take action. Even if it’s not perfect action, do it anyway. The worst thing you can do is nothing at all. You learn along the way and get better as you go along. If you have to do it over, do it over, but don’t stop. Always move forward.

Always Think 2 Steps Ahead

Once you develop these productive habits and more, you’ll experience less of those ‘preventable’ situations. This part of your life can run on autopilot to your benefit.

Think prevention – what can I do so this won’t happen, again? Are there routines I can put in place to avoid these annoying interruptions? Figure it out before it happens.

By being a progressive thinker and action taker, you will be able to stay 2 steps ahead of the game. Reacting at the last minute, especially when you were capable of handling it earlier, places you in a better position to be more productive and ready.

Don’t wait for it to become a problem – position yourself to manage it ahead of time. When you think 2 steps ahead, you win back your money, time and energy.

#BeGoalden

Focus On Progress, Not The Distraction

Distractions never take a day off. People are distracting, the internet is distracting, even positive things can be a bit too much.

When you remove everything that is taking away from you and your goals, what’s left? All you have is your mindset, but don’t let it trick you into falling into a place of comfort and complacency.

Distractions = Comfortable Interruptions

As mentioned, distraction can come in many disguises. The aim is to recognize it, while still maintaining forward movement.

Whenever we see something that gets our attention, we stop and look. It’s the easy and simple thing to do. It frees us from thinking for ourselves or gives relief from what’s currently in front of us.

Distractions are a time-kill. Once you start scrolling, it’s hard to stop. After you sit down and watch one episode, it’s hard to get back up. Small talk from your co-worker turns into a long, dramatic conversation.

Comfortable interruptions occur often throughout the day, but you must learn to do your part and get past it. If you don’t stop giving your time and energy away, you’ll never get anything done for you. Your entire day will go towards listening to everything and everyone else. After a while, you forget what you needed to do.

Focus On The Bigger Picture

There are situations that happen out of our control and circumstances we didn’t invite into our lives. How do you deal with that, if it had nothing to do with you in the first place? After all, it wasn’t your fault.

Once again, it’s easy to get stuck and fall into the trap of blaming and complaining. It’s one of those things that comes naturally, especially if you’ve been exposed to it for most of your life.

Something happens, you complain. Someone didn’t do it right, so you blame. Things like this happen, but did you do your part? Are you satisfied with your effort and input? In the end, you may not get anything out of it, but all you can control is what you do.

You can plan a pretty picnic, but you can’t predict the weather…
Andre 3000 of Outkast, Ms. Jackson

When things are out of our control and we are the recipient of the consequences, don’t get mad, angry or defensive – respond constructively. Have a positive way of acknowledging it and be practical. Most of all, know that you are doing your best and don’t allow it to stop you or distract you from the bigger picture.

This is something that a lot of people have to practice because, in our minds, complaining and blaming seems to make things better. It allows us to let go of stress and put the responsibility on something else. Hours or days pass by before you realize that it really didn’t help anything. Now, your focus has been misplaced and you have to figure out how to get it back.

Focus And Do Your Part

Keep your power. Use your energy for the things you can control. Everything may not turn out the best way, but controlling your focus and attention puts you at a better advantage, as opposed to just giving in.

In a perfect world, people wouldn’t get fired from their jobs, no one would get into car accidents, or everyone would always greet you with a nice and pleasant attitude. Although everyone wishes life was this flawless, we have to accept the fact that it’s not.

All we can do is play to the best of our ability and keep moving. No, it may not be your fault, but it is your fault if you stop and give it your focus and attention, while losing yourself in the process.

Don’t let distractions steal your time. You can get your energy back, but you can’t get your time back. Distractions are the gateway to procrastination and that’s certainly a habit you do not want to enhance.

It’s important to do your best at all times and to keep moving forward. See the distraction for what it is, but by all means, keep making progress.

#BeGoalden

Take Action, But Don’t Get Stuck On The Research

Take Action, Get It Wrong And Do It Again

The first step to taking action, for some, is doing research. There are lots of questions concerning how to get started and if it interests you enough to put in the time and effort.

It only makes sense to do some reading and asking around before you begin, but what happens when it turns into procrastination? Is there ever a right time to start?

Action Is A Verb. Be A Verb.

Let’s not make this harder than what it really is. Yes, research is designed to help you make informed decisions and to create strategic plans moving forward, but other than that, what’s stopping you?

We come up with all kinds of excuses: it’s too hot, my head hurts, I don’t have time, I’ll do it Monday, the stock market is down, it shouldn’t have happened that way, and so on.

It’s very easy to provide excuses, but what about taking action? No matter how much research you do, the wheels won’t start turning until you actually do something. Do not paralyze your actions by overthinking – simply move and adjust.

Don’t Ask For Action, Take It!

After you announce your goal, people will follow up to see if you’re following through. Did you think you would announce that you would take over the world and no one would ask about it later?

If you’re bold enough to put it out there, be bold enough to do it. We have these great ideas, yet, we never get around to them. An invisible fear creeps in and floods our imagination with all kinds of negativity and distractions.

All of a sudden, you’ve created a thousand reasons why your great idea was really a terrible idea. Others have talked you out of it by voicing their unsolicited opinions.

You do not need anyone’s permission. Don’t wait for the world’s approval, or you’ll be waiting forever. Hold yourself accountable and take responsibility for the results. The best thing about it is, you can always go back and do it better, no matter how many times you fail (which is only learning).

Do You Hide Behind Research?

Yes, a little research is sometimes needed before you dive into something. You want to know what you’re getting into and what it takes to become successful at it. At some point, you must go and do.

Some of us get stuck in the research phase. It’s comfortable because no one is expecting anything from us and we don’t have to face rejection. We feel safe from potential challenges and obstacles when we’re constantly ‘getting ready’.

Nothing happens when you continuously research. You may gain more knowledge and discover different routes to achieve your goal, but nothing happens. If nothing happens, nothing happens. It’s just that simple.

Go ahead and do your research, but do it and start. Don’t get stuck there forever – put some actionable force behind it. Instead of worrying about being perfect, be productive.

Stop Getting Ready And Just Do It!

The only way you’ll get there is if you take action. Understand that it may not be right the first or second time, but that’s how you improve and do better.

Step out of the ‘getting ready’ phase and step into the ‘now what’ phase. After you take action, think, ‘now what’? What can I do next? Can I make it better? How can I get closer to the outcome?

Success requires action, not constant procrastination through endless research. Don’t be your own worst enemy. If you take that first step and keep going, the fear will go away. The time will never be right, but the right time is now.

#BeGoalden

Don’t Let The New Year Fool You

It happens every single year. Around December, people begin to gear up and make resolutions, personal promises and new goals for the upcoming year. It never fails.

Who insisted upon the idea that we should give it our all, once a year? How does this affect our ability to succeed and grow?

New Year’s Resolutions

This is a popular topic of discussion around this time. We make a point to begin our ‘new’ journey on January 1st.

People make resolutions about what they are going to do, but does anyone look back and give productive thought to the current year? How can you improve if you keep standing in the same place?

Making resolutions is fine, but make it a continuation of what you’re doing now. It doesn’t make sense to start the same thing, every year – time is valuable. Most people give up within the first few months and forget about it. This leads to making the same mistake with the same goal, every time.

Resolutions and goals are estimated potential guides. We know what we want to achieve, we set a plan and we put in the work. What happens when we crash and lose our momentum?

Don’t Let The New Year Get You Stuck

After the first couple of months of ‘working’ on getting better, the enthusiasm starts to fade. We begin to do less and less everyday. Distractions look more appealing. Eventually, we stop altogether.

Instead of getting back on the horse, we allow small, meaningless tasks to consume our time and energy, just as it did before. That same vortex creeps back into our lives, sucks us in, and takes over. Complacency sets in and excuses become even more common.

There’s no doubt that the little things need to get done, but what happened to becoming the best version of yourself? Where’s that fire and rock solid intention that you possessed on December 31st, right before midnight?

The New Year Isn’t The Only Time

Where does it say that we have to stop and wait until next year to start all over again?

Most people make the same declaration every year, because they didn’t accomplish it last year, or the year before. They lose their excitement and they just stop and never think about it again – until December.

As opposed to procrastinating and waiting, let’s get in the habit of starting the next day. Instead of having one opportunity a year to get it right, you now have 365 (366 if it’s a leap year) opportunities to get it right and create a productive and more fulfilling life.

You don’t have to lose weight every year. Lose weight one year, travel more the next year, start a business the year after that and so on. Do something and make progress, otherwise, you just live the same life over and over again.

Growing everyday is better than growing once a year.

Let’s turn “Happy New Year!” into “Happy New Day!” You don’t necessarily have to wait until midnight every night to proclaim it, but you could review your resolutions and goals before you go to sleep and wake up in the morning with the same intent and motivation.

Commit To Your Greatness, All Over Again

The best part is, you get a chance to begin again, every 24 hours. No matter how ineffective you may have been yesterday (because it does happen), you can recommit and start all over again.

Build up your consistency by letting go of your fear of failure – do it until you get it right. Failing is the most straightforward way of learning how to do something better and it gets you to your success a lot faster than waiting. If you don’t keep pushing to improve, how will you get there?

There’s no need to wait for months at a time before you set a new goal, or begin one. You haven’t failed, you just need another opportunity to get it right. Give yourself permission and take that opportunity, daily.

#BeGoalden