Month: August 2017

Everyone has it. No one is immune from it. We all experience it. It doesn’t matter what level you’re on, it will show up. I am simply talking about: the bump in the road.

It forces some people to stop. “No more traveling down this road, there’s a bump!” The thing is, the bump never goes away. You must learn to go over it. It will keep coming back, again and again. Yet, it keeps stopping people, again and again. Not you – you’re a Goalden Lady and one of the most important rules is to keep it moving.

It happens. It will continue to happen. The solution is to keep moving. If you stop every time something doesn’t go the way you planned, you’ll never get anywhere in life. You may as well not even have goals, but I’m not here to explore that side. I’m here to help you get over that hump.

The bump in the road is there to throw you off. It’s your choice to allow it to throw you off or not. In this case, we don’t allow it. We are strong enough and smart enough to move that mountain. There is another way to continue on, we just have to figure it out. If your favorite basketball player misses the game winning shot, do they wallow in their mistake or do they put in more practice than the week before? Yes, that’s you – you put in more practice or more thought to overcome that obstacle.

Nothing happens unless you take action. Action is what makes those bumps in the road disappear. Action is what makes them smaller, so that you can continue with your journey. Some bumps may be bigger than others, but the process is the same: action. It won’t move until you put forth some physical or mental effort to move it. You can do it if you put one foot in front of the other and start moving.

It may seem overwhelming, but you have to break it down. Know that the challenge can be conquered, but you must take it one step at a time. Do your research. Go to conventions. Watch videos. Do whatever it takes to get over that challenge. Before you know it, you’ll be back on track to reaching your goals.

The point is, you can do it. Don’t let it scare you to the point where you just give up and stop. Find a way to keep moving and take action. To be more specific, concentrated action is the only way you will be successful with your goals (yes, concentrated action – you just can’t do any old action and expect to win). See in your mind how you will cross that bump in the road and make it happen. Drink some water. It’ll work out if you keep moving.

While you are working on your goals, it’s important to not get discouraged. We want so much so quickly, that it seems like it’s never going to happen. Sometimes, it can get boring and redundant, but if you can be creative, the journey won’t seem so dull.

Try something new. Go to a different place to get inspiration. Take a walk away from the city. Work from another room in the house. Shaking things up a bit could do wonders for your work. Having a routine is good, but every now and then, do something out of the ordinary to see if it’ll spike your performance towards your goals. Sometimes, we need to do something offbeat to boost our workflow.

Do something that requires you to think. It doesn’t necessarily have to be about your goals, but something that forces you to think on another level. For instance, I do jigsaw puzzles. This may be like slow torture to some people, but it works another part of my brain. I find it very satisfying and challenging. Other examples could be cooking something you’ve never cooked before, or learning how to surf. It could be anything away from your work that stimulates your thinking. Overall, this will indirectly help you in other sections of your life.

This may sound strange, but take a little time and do nothing. I know you’re thinking, “Doing nothing is NOT being creative.” It doesn’t sound like it, but it may actually jump start you into your work. It may take 5 minutes of doing nothing or 2 hours of doing nothing. After you realize how bored you are, you’ll want to go back to working on your goals. It’ll also bring to light how much time has gone by and you could’ve been doing something productive.

All of these ideas may sound unconventional, but different things work for different people. Be creative and think of more creative things to do that will propel you into your tasks. You never know what will work until you try. Doing nothing just may surprise you and take you in a more effective direction. Go ahead and see what happens!

Hard work is just as it sounds. If you work consistently towards your goal, eventually, you’ll achieve it. Hard work isn’t being lazy or expecting others to do the work for you so that you can be successful. YOU do the hard work. Nobody owes it to you to help or push you. It would be nice, but that’s not how it goes.

There are people who think that others should help them.

“You should want to help me with my project.”
“I did a favor for you last week, so you need to do this for me.”
“I’ve been there for you – you owe that much to me!”

No. Nobody owes you anything. No matter how much you’ve helped them, or even hurt them. Yes, it is morally correct to live by the Golden Rule, but there are a lot of different people out there who live by their own rules.

When someone says they will help you, take it with a grain of salt. Don’t allow yourself to get mad if they don’t keep their word. Depending on others doesn’t always end well. As far as I’m concerned, there are a lot of people who ‘owe’ me, but I can’t wait on them. Besides, no one sees the vision of your goals the way you see them. It doesn’t matter if it’s important to you and whether they volunteer to assist you or not. It’s your dream.

Get used to working YOUR goals. Find the path to your achievement. Yes, some people will help, but don’t get caught up when someone doesn’t help. Even if you gave someone your last five dollars, they still don’t owe you anything. If you give it away, don’t expect it back. If you help someone, don’t expect the favor in return when you need help.

This is your work! You do it! Continue to work hard and doing the best that you can. The bottom line is: stop with the excuses. This is your goal – no one else is obligated to help you along. Yes, it’s nice if someone does, but don’t expect others to achieve your success. Don’t be lazy like that. This is your journey, not theirs. Get up, drink some water, and make it happen. In the end, you’ll have an awesome story to tell that may help someone else.

Everyone is guilty of worrying to some degree. Some people are natural worry warts, while others only worry when needed. Do you know how much energy active worrying takes up? I’m guilty of this, too, but I decided that if I’m going to worry, I’m going to worry about something good.

Have you ever been around someone who constantly worries? No matter when they approach you, they have something on their mind. This can be contagious, of course, only if you let it. It’s like they must find something to worry about. It could be the random cat in the street (“Oh no, the cat’s crossing the street!”) or the happy little girl who fell while running after a butterfly (“She’s devastated – how will her life end?”). It could be someone close to them is terminally ill. These are varying degrees of worry, but they all take up mental space and energy.

Understandably, being worried about something that’s worth worrying about (like an ill loved one) is natural. Like I stated before, it does take energy, but if you’re going to worry, worry about them getting well. Worry about making them laugh and bringing happiness to them. When we worry, we tend to worry about something bad happening in the end. It is a relief if it turns out great in the end, but the time and energy was wasted to begin with. Even if it ends badly, it’s still wasted energy, because you were right and you could have been working on something more constructive.

Worrying doesn’t make things better and it doesn’t help the situation. True story: When I was pregnant with my first son, he decided he was coming a month early. Everyone around me was literally going crazy – they were not helping the situation at all. A peace came over me and I realized that I did my best and right now, I can only help by keeping a level head for his sake. I can’t change if he was going to make it or not, but I could control me and my emotions. Everyone else was worrying enough for me. Well, he came out fine. All of the worry for nothing.

Some people are in a place where they know that ‘everything is everything – what is meant to be, will be’. This is a good place to be, but hard to get to. Emotions can vary at the end of any situation, but to already know you can not change the outcome, is a start. Yes, believe. Yet, also know that you have done your best to bring the situation to a positive place. If it doesn’t end the way you would have liked, have your time to work through it and move on.

This is the type of advice that doesn’t make sense until you get older. Right now, I probably sound like the evil Goalden Lady to some of you. Let life take it’s course. If you must worry, worry about how you’re going to plan out your work to achieve success. Worry about it ending wonderfully. Worrying otherwise only slows you down and possibly brings you to a permanent halt. As they say, “No worries.” Drink some water. Really. Don’t worry about it.

Your environment does not define you or what you can become. People allow something so simple to direct their life into a negative spiral. You can become anything you want and you can do anything you want. Allowing your environment to steer your life isn’t a great choice, but some people fall into that excuse. You have the power to change it.

I hear people all the time talk about how rough they had it growing up. Every time they tell the story, it gets more dramatic. Yes, there are people who actually did grow up in a rough neighborhood or had a childhood that was shaped by their parents mistakes. This does not excuse the fact that you have control over the path you will take to make your better life.

Growing up, we all had to live under our parents or a guardian. If your parents/guardians are doing things you know are wrong, you don’t have to do it. If they did drugs, you don’t have to do drugs. If they mistreated people, you don’t have to mistreat people. If they were full of hate, you don’t have to be full of hate. There is a such thing as learned behavior, but just because you were in that negative environment doesn’t mean you have to accept it into your life.

We all deal with choices everyday. Sometimes we make good choices, sometimes we make bad choices. You have the power to choose your way out of your environment. School may be boring, but don’t skip class to hang with the bad crowd. In the heat of an argument, she may be tempting you to do it, but don’t put your hands on that young lady. Walk away from your ‘friends’ who are planning to commit a crime. These choices are yours to make. You won’t always get a second chance, so do it right the first time.

Whether you are young or old, your decisions are what makes your future what it becomes. Life does happen, but you still have to think for yourself and make good decisions for good results. There are plenty of older people who will tell you to ‘slow down’ or ‘don’t do what I did’. They are saying that for a reason. They know – they have lived and suffered the consequences, or witnessed someone who did. Sometimes, we are just too smart for our own good and think we know better than the wino on the street. He may be talking gibberish and smell like hot garbage, but if he tells you NOT to do something, you should probably listen.

I say all of that, to say this – design your own life. It is your responsibility to shape your reality and to motivate others to do the same. Be that hope for someone else. As a child, you may have had a little hesitation or some restrictions, but as an adult, you can make your life into what you want it to be. Even if you did grow up in a dysfunctional household, you’ve seen enough TV and other examples of the life you want to live. Don’t repeat the disfunction. You have the power to create your own reality. Drink some water. Be better than your environment.

People tend to offer their help when they think you may need it. Maybe you said something that triggered them to offer their services. When you take them up on their offer, all of a sudden, they have a busy schedule. Not cool. Not only are you slightly disappointed, but you are back at square one, figuring out how you were going to do whatever it was, anyway.

So you’re talking to your friend (or family member), and you say, “Wow, this is a lot – I’m running out of money!” Now, when you said that, you didn’t literally mean you were down to your last two dollars with this project, you were just surprised at how much money it takes to complete your project. Your friend (or family) member then says, “I can help you with that – all you need is…” For the next couple of days, they are making plans to help you and you think, “OK, maybe we CAN do this.”

When you call your friend (or family) member and ask them if they’re ready to start, they have something to do. Mind you, this is on the day that they said they were available to help. All you can think is, “Ain’t this a …” Not only are you caught off guard, but you’ve also wasted time. When they volunteered their help and all of their available time, I’m sure it was ‘good intentions’. The thing is, you can’t build on good intentions. You build your work on being definite. You can’t be mad that the other person doesn’t see it the way you do. After all, it is your vision, not theirs.

In most cases, it’s best to move forward with the plans you make on your own. People will interject with their ideas and promises and leave you high and dry because they had ‘good intentions’ or they think they can do it. Good intentions lead to one thing – nothing. You know and I know that you can’t make things happen with ‘good intentions’. Unless that person has a skill that you need and you could use their help, you should just keep your plans to yourself and do it yourself.

Although it may have wasted your time, among other things, it is a lesson learned. It’s not being stingy or rude, but some things are best left up to your doing. Sometimes, it’s best to insist on doing things yourself. My father would say to me and my sisters, “If you want something done right, do it yourself.” There are good, productive people who will lend you a hand during those times when you need it, but just be aware of those who volunteer out of ‘good intentions’.

I’m not perfect, although I try to do perfect work. Anytime I do my work, I want it to be the best and as close to perfection as it can get. The concept is great, but in reality, it promotes procrastination and stifles movement.

Being a perfectionist is a blessing and a curse. It’s a blessing because it shows that you care about what you do and you want it to be awesome. I think it’s good to strive for perfection, because it can motivate you to a new level of work. Others recognize the time and effort that you put in and it generates a positive reputation for you. Quality is an important part of your work.

At the same time, it can be a curse. Perfectionists sometimes procrastinate on launching their work. It has to be perfect, so they hold on to it until they think it is perfect for the world to see. Do you know how long that could take? You could be sitting on a gold mine and someone else could beat you to the punch. As a result, their project wasn’t as good as yours, but they got the upper hand, simply because they did their best and moved before you did.

One of the main points of the Goalden Lady is to keep it moving. As a perfectionist, your lack of movement could hold you back. Don’t let the average person outwork you and get credit for it because you were sitting on your work, trying to make it perfect. The trick is to learn to be close to perfect, but in a timely manner.

Nobody’s perfect. We don’t understand everything the first time around. We aren’t born being architects. We are human people (yes, human people) doing the best we can – we TRY to be perfect, and we come close. Don’t get stuck on perfect. It could turn into a bad habit of procrastination. You can always go back and make it better, but if you don’t move, you don’t progress. Drink some water, get close to perfect, and move.

There are those days where you have done so much and you think there is so much more to do. It seems to be a never-ending list of things that need to get done. You’re tired. It hurts. You can’t see straight. It may seem like you’ll never make it to the end, but you will – make up your mind and go some more.

My grandmother used to tell us, “I’ll rest when I die.” And she did. She lived to be 100 years old and she was still kicking ass and taking names until the end. She woke up before the sun and tucked the moon in on a daily basis. If she was able, she would always go some more.

Imagine how much you can accomplish with that type of drive. Back in her day, it was all physical work – for the most part, all we do is mental work. Yes, mental work can be tiring also, but try doing physical work for a change (not sports or anything you do for fun) and see how tired you really are at the end of the day. I’m not putting one over the other, because you achieve your goals through both. But, there is a difference between THINKING about doing something and actually DOING something.

Go to bed satisfied. Tire yourself in a good way, so when your head hits the pillow, you don’t wake up until the next morning. It’s an awesome feeling to get things done and know that you did it without being lazy about it. Anybody can put things off and continuously think about what to do and how to do it. Sometimes, you just have to get up and start, even if it leads to nowhere. At least you know what didn’t work and now you can keep moving forward in the right direction.

Don’t get me wrong – there are times when you need to slow down and recharge yourself. Listen to your body. Some people listen to their body too much and it leads to laziness. Yes, think through your plan, but don’t forget to drink some water and take action. Experiment to see what happens – you may be surprised.

When you think you’ve done all you can do, push a little harder and go some more. Yes, you’ll be tired, but you’ll have moved the needle. Each and every day, that is what your work should do. To the regular person, your accomplishment looks easy, but you know what it took for you to get there. Continue to make it look easy and go some more.

There was a saying back when I was younger: reading is fundamental. It still is. Don’t take for granted the fact that you can read. Whether you know it or not, reading has taken you far in life and has benefited you, as well. It has informed you and it has saved your life. Let’s break it down.

Reading provides advantages. When you read, you find out things. You receive information. It may be information you already knew, but every now and then, you get some awesome information that you didn’t know. This puts you at an advantage, because now you can act on what you know. You can do more research and expand your knowledge.

When you read, you grow, mentally. There are so many books and magazines to choose from. You can read about anything that interests you. The only time when you were somewhat forced to read a book was when you were in school. School provides the foundation, but in time, you figure out what you are interested in and you read more about it. That, to me, is exciting within itself – you can read anything!

Then, there are those who just don’t read anything. They know how to read, but they choose not to. I can not name one successful person who does not read. I love to read, but I know that everyone doesn’t share the same passion. Honestly, I don’t know what to say about people who have the advantage and privilege to read and they don’t. I’m not judging, but they are really missing out.

Read. Read anything. It doesn’t have to be a boring novel or a how-to book. It can be a pamphlet or a comic. Hell, it could be Twitter, but just read. I would hope that this message would inspire those who don’t read, but my guess is that they aren’t reading this. So if you know someone who can read, but for whatever reason, they don’t read, please verbally relay this message. If you know someone who can’t read, inspire them or better yet, take the time to teach them how to read. There are illiterate people in the world, but I promise you, getting them to read will put them on a new level they never knew they could reach. Reading is fundamental.