Help Yourself

People tend to offer their help when they think you may need it. Maybe you said something that triggered them to offer their services. When you take them up on their offer, all of a sudden, they have a busy schedule. Not cool. Not only are you slightly disappointed, but you are back at square one, figuring out how you were going to do whatever it was, anyway.

So you’re talking to your friend (or family member), and you say, “Wow, this is a lot – I’m running out of money!” Now, when you said that, you didn’t literally mean you were down to your last two dollars with this project, you were just surprised at how much money it takes to complete your project. Your friend (or family) member then says, “I can help you with that – all you need is…” For the next couple of days, they are making plans to help you and you think, “OK, maybe we CAN do this.”

When you call your friend (or family) member and ask them if they’re ready to start, they have something to do. Mind you, this is on the day that they said they were available to help. All you can think is, “Ain’t this a …” Not only are you caught off guard, but you’ve also wasted time. When they volunteered their help and all of their available time, I’m sure it was ‘good intentions’. The thing is, you can’t build on good intentions. You build your work on being definite. You can’t be mad that the other person doesn’t see it the way you do. After all, it is your vision, not theirs.

In most cases, it’s best to move forward with the plans you make on your own. People will interject with their ideas and promises and leave you high and dry because they had ‘good intentions’ or they think they can do it. Good intentions lead to one thing – nothing. You know and I know that you can’t make things happen with ‘good intentions’. Unless that person has a skill that you need and you could use their help, you should just keep your plans to yourself and do it yourself.

Although it may have wasted your time, among other things, it is a lesson learned. It’s not being stingy or rude, but some things are best left up to your doing. Sometimes, it’s best to insist on doing things yourself. My father would say to me and my sisters, “If you want something done right, do it yourself.” There are good, productive people who will lend you a hand during those times when you need it, but just be aware of those who volunteer out of ‘good intentions’.