thoughtful Archives - The Goalden Lady

#TBT: Give Up The Grudge, Focus On Forgiveness

There’s nothing new under the sun. People have best friends, co-workers or even family members with whom they hold grudges against.

All of these hurtful feelings begin to flood your mind. Eventually, it begins to work it’s way into your body and comes out through anger, anxiety, stress and many other ways.

You feel like, “How could they do that? I thought we were friends? How could they NOT know that I would be hurt? What were they thinking? They should’ve known!”

The best way to let a grudge go is to forgive. Instead of allowing it to control your thoughts and hold you hostage, forgive them.

You may think, “That’s way too easy – I want them to feel the same hurt that they put upon me!” Well, you’ll be waiting a lifetime. Most of the time, the person you’re holding the grudge against, doesn’t even know it or they’ve moved on.

Forgiveness is for you, not for them.
The Goalden Lady

Make the decision to move on. You don’t have to include them in your life anymore. If any type of interaction is necessary, keep it to a minimum.

Why is forgiveness for you? This is what happens when you hold a grudge:

It creates more negative thoughts. You’re already in a bad place when you hold a grudge against someone. You begin to increasingly think about it and those aren’t good thoughts you’re having. You’re thinking of ways to get back at them or how you can get revenge. Before you know it, this is all you think about and it only breeds more negative thoughts in other areas of your life.
It takes away your power. You aren’t able to control what you’re thinking and you become unproductive. No matter how hard you try to work, those feelings keep pulling you back. That person has moved on – they don’t even know the effect that they’re having on your peace of mind. Don’t give away your power that easily! Even when you’re trying to go to sleep at night, you think of them and you tense up and become disgusted. Meanwhile, they’re sleeping like a baby.
It keeps you stagnant. You’re like a broken record that keeps skipping to the same beat, over and over. You can’t move or make good decisions in your daily life. You’re stuck. The grudge you’re holding keeps repeating itself over and over again. None of this will change until you decide to let it go.

That’s why forgiveness is for you. None of these things happen to the person you’re holding a grudge against. Even if you confront them about it, more than likely, they’ll think it was silly. And then, they move on.

Forgiveness gives you the relief you’re looking for. It gives you freedom. It allows you to breathe. It gives you your life back.

Be the bigger person. Learn to forgive. Some people have been holding grudges for years, but it’s not needed. How much of your life have you wasted, thinking about something that has been forgotten by others? Take back your power over your life and yourself. We all have disappointments from our friends and family, but it’s up to us to move on from it and continue to be our best selves. It’s hard to be your best self while holding a grudge.

Forgive. Let it go. Move on.

#BeGoalden

#TBT: Be Grateful For The Little Things

Taking the time to be grateful for the simple things in our daily lives is something that we tend to overlook. Between work and distractions, it can be easy to forget.

By being mindful of the things you are grateful for, it lets you work from a place of sincerity. Instead of different things ticking you off, you allow it to pass, without it bothering you or disrupting your day.

5 Simple Things To Be Grateful For:

Breathing – It may seem simple, but someone didn’t get to wake up today, or they didn’t make it through the entire day. There are even people who have a hard time breathing on their own and depend on machines to assist them. Be thankful for the natural act of breathing.
Challenges – We normally call these ‘problems.’ Yes, you should be grateful for your challenges, as well. Challenges may be difficult, but they allow you to grow and give you confidence. If you can make it through a challenge, you can do anything.
Thoughts – Your thoughts give you the ability to be creative and think on your own. You can come to your own conclusions and set your own standards. Your thoughts are the blueprint to your life. As Napoleon Hill said, “Whatever your mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve.”
Family and Friends – You may not like some of your family, or you may be at odd with some of your friends, but no matter what kind of relationship you have, they had a part in shaping you. You picked up some good habits and some bad habits – you learned what to do and what not to do. Observing them helped you to become who you are.
Freedom – Being free, you are able to do what you want to do. Unlike jail, you can wake up when you want to, go to work if you want to, or chase an opportunity whenever you feel like it. The choice is yours because you are free. There are some people in the world who are still being held captive against their will. Be grateful that you are free and have control over your own life.

Be Thankful For Life

We don’t know when our time is up, so make everyday count and be grateful for what you are able to do. Instead of putting things off for tomorrow (because tomorrow never comes), be productive and do them today.

Wherever your life takes you, be thankful for the experience. Life has a way of making us feel like we’re the only ones when terrible things happen. There is someone who has been through your experience and you’re never the only one who is going through that situation.

Even when things aren’t going great, continue to fight. It’s hard, but be grateful that you are operating from a place of strength and will come out more powerful on the other side. The hard times are what make us who we are.

Always remember to be grateful in the good and the bad times. It all comes together to create the perfect you in the end.

#BeGoalden

Thoughtful Conversation Is Easier Said, Than Done

Having good conversation is a lost art. Today, it’s like a game – you can only win if you talk over someone or if you keep a useless argument going.

It’s easy to talk a good game. Whatever comes to your mind, you just let it out. You become an instant authority on that subject…or so you think.

Thoughtless Conversation

Sometimes, we go around repeating what others have said because it sounds good. We have no knowledge of what we’re really talking about. No personal research has been conducted and no subjects have been tested.

Our mind tends to follow a conversation, not really listening, but waiting for an opportunity to chime in, just so we can be heard. It doesn’t matter if what we say is incorrect, it just matters that we ‘participated’ in the game and that’s a waste of time.

Stop saying things just to be heard. Have thoughtful conversation. There’s nothing worse than someone contributing half thoughts to a conversation where others are having intentional discussions.

Thoughtful Conversation

Conversations vary. They can be about anything interesting to either party. Instead of listening and actually considering what is being said, we tend to wait our turn.

When talking to someone, you should make an effort to actively listen. Don’t just wait for them to stop talking – ask them questions. Make suggestions based upon what they said. Participate with the intention of learning something.

Having meaningful conversation is fulfilling. No one likes small talk, but it can lead to a deeper connection. People actually crave to have stimulating discussions.

What Leads To An Interesting Discussion?

Discussing the weather can only get you so far. Don’t be afraid to ask someone about their goals, or their past travel experiences. You’ll be surprised at what you find out.

As long as it’s about their experiences and about the future, it’s okay to ask those types of personal questions. Getting too personal may swing the conversation in a negative direction.

Speaking about goals and expectations of the future will lead to interesting conversation. People have ideas that you may have never thought of and it’s helpful. Expanding your mind is always a good thing. You may even find a way around a challenge you’ve been dealing with.

Think Before You Speak

Some people cringe at having conversations with strangers, because some people don’t think before they speak and things get weird real quick.

If you’re uncomfortable where the conversation is going, steer it back to a safer place. Learn to change the subject, while still being respectful.

You may be that person who makes the discussion uncomfortable, so think before you speak. Your discussion should reflect the type of environment you’re in. If you’re at a school event, talk about something involving education. If you’re at a health retreat, talk about self-care or wellness.

Appreciating Great Conversation

The next time you’re waiting in the grocery line or at a conference, attempt to start a meaningful discussion. Some people are open to talking to strangers and possibly making new friends.

The art of great conversation still exists, we just need to learn how to apply it in our daily lives. Not only does it feed your mind, but it gives you confidence to be yourself in any situation.

The next time someone speaks to you, instead of giving basic answers, actively listen and get into the flow of the discussion. It could create a new avenue in your life.

#BeGoalden