move forward Archives - The Goalden Lady

Stop Downplaying Your Progress

Making progress is a constant struggle, especially when you’re working on your dream. You’re always thinking if you did this right, is it going to work, what if I fall flat on my face in front of everybody, etc.

Don’t give that little voice in your head any authority over your thoughts. It’s there to keep you from great things. Yes, it sucks. It keeps you lazy. It makes you think your idea isn’t good enough. It simply takes away your power before you even begin.

Comparing your beginning to someone else’s ending, does not help you at all. When you downplay your achievements in comparison to others, you’re not being fair to yourself.

“He got a gazillion reviews — I only have 2.”

“She cooks omelets — I can only cook eggs.”

“They’re such a great team – my team sucks.”

Progress Is The Beginning Of Success

Don’t downplay your achievements! Having 2 reviews is a celebration, because before, you had zero. That’s progress! You can make omelets, just flip one side of the egg to the other side and there you have it! Progress! Don’t make it difficult.

We are all learning together, just at different speeds. There is no need to engage in negative self-talk; there are plenty of other people out there who do that for you. Believe in yourself and be confident in your abilities. You have to start somewhere.

Even if one person claps, that’s good! You’ll have to learn to clap for yourself for a long time before anyone else will. When you come up with an idea and begin to explore it, that’s good! Whether you take one step or twenty, that’s good!

IT’S ALL GOOD!!!

It’s progress. It may be tiny, but you are moving the needle, millimeter by millimeter. That’s more than a lot of people move in a year. Progress is progress, no matter how big or small. Be proud that you moved and just keep on moving!

Move Forward And Get Out Of Your Own Way

Have you ever heard of someone say, “Get out of your own way?” As backwards as it may sound, there is some truth to that saying.

Instead of deciding to move forward, we blame others for things that happen to us. We find comfort in complaining and pointing the finger. This makes things okay at the moment, but it does nothing for you in the long run.

Deal With It

There are situations that happen and we tend to hold on to them, as if it was our fault. Things like being laid off from a job or the loss of someone close to you can have a negative affect on you.

We all deal with different things in different ways, but sometimes, we allow it to keep us stuck. Missed the game-winning shot? Don’t carry that guilt with you forever. It happened – the only thing you can do is move forward and practice even harder.

Instead of moving forward and practicing harder, we often keep that hurtful replay in our minds as we continue to grow older. Now, it makes us afraid to take chances in situations where others are depending on us. Most of the time, no one else is willing to step up and take that chance because of the possible consequences of missing.

But what if you make it? What if you succeed at making the game-winning shot? Then, everyone loves you and sings your praises. They will tell others how they knew you could do it – what an awesome moment to remember!

If you miss, some people will be mad and come up with excuses as to why they knew you should have passed the ball.

Your Mind Will Hold You Back

As you keep the negative impacting thoughts and memories in your head, your confidence decreases and your attitude begins to suck. Just because it didn’t work the first time, doesn’t mean you can’t make it work the next time.

This is the part where you need to get out of your own way. No one is holding you back – it’s your mind and what you choose to think that’s holding you back.

Think on another level. Leave the negative voices and impeding thoughts behind. It may not seem like it, but you do have a choice and it is your right to move on and make progress.

Train your mind to accept challenges. Study how to follow through and become courageous again. Remember when you were a little kid and you believed you could do anything? You and your friends would spend all day building a rocket. There was nothing that stopped you, no matter how long it would take or how much material you lacked – you kept working on it until it became real!

As a kid, you weren’t in your own way. As a matter of fact, there was no such thing as limits. You would ALWAYS find a way to make it happen.

Move Forward And Find A Way

This is the same mindset you should have as an adult. Don’t allow others to identify what you can or can’t do. Many people get stuck in the opinion of others, but you don’t have to.

Practice shifting your mind from lack to abundance – from no to yes – from “I don’t think so” to “Yes, I can”.

Most importantly, put positive action to those positive ideas, build your confidence and step out of your own way.

Self-Sabotage Is Holding You Back

Self-sabotage is when you set yourself up for failure. You become unconsciously satisfied with being your own enemy.

It seems backwards – don’t you want to be successful? Why would you run away from accomplishing your goals? Who doesn’t want to work towards a good life?

Your Level of Confidence

Being your own downfall begins with your self-esteem. Throughout life, you’ve become used to coming in last, being in the background or just being non-active.

Some people are born into environments that are anti-productive. This is a situation where you can respond one of two ways: you can become the opposite of your environment, or you can fall into it’s trap.

It’s difficult to go against the grain to become who you really want to be. When your surroundings don’t reflect a path to your vision, it becomes a challenge to fight against it. Even though gravity is pulling you down, you make an intentional effort to pull yourself up.

On the other hand, it’s easy to give in to what’s around you, good or bad. When you live in an unproductive environment, it starts to look normal. It weakens your self confidence and you accept the loser mindset. Your actions begin to mirror your poor self image and it causes self-sabotage.

Leave The Past In The Past

People make mistakes and bad decisions in life. Things can happen out of your control, but it’s your choice to either react or respond.

Another thing that causes self-sabotage is holding on to the past. Whatever happened may have been terrible, but you’re only hurting yourself when you constantly relive the memory and allow it to take up valuable space in your mind.

When you forgive, you’re not giving in to the person that hurt you, you’re allowing yourself to let go of the pain and move forward. Replaying the hurt as if it happened today is what holds you back. When you forgive someone, you free yourself – you take your life back and start to breathe again.

Holding on to the past contributes to self-sabotage. You’re prohibiting yourself from making progress because you’re stuck in that place. This leads to blaming others for your position in life, when really, all you have to do is let go and move on.

Forgiving is not as easy as it sounds, but it’s the only way to give yourself peace and reclaim your life.

Self-Sabotage Can Be Prevented

These are just a couple of ways that self-sabotage can destroy your progress. It can sneak in through various forms, but if you can recognize and prevent it from occurring, you’re one step ahead.

Instead of going with the flow with everyone else, think for yourself. Your choice may not be the most popular, but at least you know it’s how you want to operate.

Do the impossible. Always reach for goals that seem right outside of your grasp. Use your energy to stretch yourself to your potential. Don’t let anyone talk you out of your dreams – continue to increase your confidence (trust yourself), strengthen your mindset (listen to motivational speeches/podcasts and read inspirational books/blogs) and take productive action (learn from your mistakes and setbacks).

Don’t allow self-sabotage to take over your life. As you can see, some people live with it, yet, they don’t know why their lives are miserable or unlucky. When you decide to leave the past in the past, you can level up your surroundings, let go of what happened and create the future you dream of!

The Paradoxical Commandments

People are illogical, unreasonable and self-centered.
Love them anyway.
If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.
If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.
The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.
Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.
The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway
People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway.
What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.
People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
Help people anyway.
Give the world the best you have and you’ll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you have anyway.

by Kent M. Keith

Throwback Thursday: Shift And Move

Have you ever been in traffic and you see a sign that says “Traffic Delays Ahead”? For most people, it’s frustrating because it means construction delays and detours. Now they have to find another way to get to their destination and it will throw off their estimated time of arrival. I’m sure the construction people don’t mean to slow up your day (or weeks), but it has to be done for everyone’s safety and benefit. There’s no other way around it, but to dig in and start.

After they are finished repairing the road (days or weeks later), everyone’s happy that they did what needed to be done. The road drives better and traffic is more efficient.

This is what happens when you are on your way to achieving your goal and doing your work. Things you didn’t expect to happen will come up and you have to deal with it. Most people would stop and not take a second look at what needs to be done to get around the problem. There will be times when you have to take a look at what happened, figure out how to move forward, and continue on. What’s the worst that could happen? You may lose a little time and patience, but if it’s necessary to move forward, then do it. Challenges will arise, but you must have the attitude and confidence to handle it. Try not to get so caught up with the problem, but push for a solution. Sometimes, a pivot is needed in order to keep moving.

Don’t be discouraged if your plan isn’t going the way you thought it would go. One of the characteristics of a Goalden Lady is knowing when to shift and move. When you thought you were going left, you find out you need to turn right. It may cause a slight panic because it was unexpected, but making that turn and moving on shows that you’re flexible and can handle any challenge that presents itself. Sometimes, a change is needed to make things better.

When you look back on those obstacles that tried to derail you, you’ll be proud that you hung in there and faced it head on. You will come out on the other end a stronger person! Even if the outcome was bad, it’s a lesson learned and you won’t make that mistake again. Every obstacle has a lesson (good or bad), because you learn what to do and what NOT to do. Use it to your advantage to become better – it will benefit you in the long run.

The construction people don’t come up with excuses when they do their job – they get right to it, so they can finish and move on (because it is their job). When you come across a challenge, don’t make an excuse – figure it out, dig in, and keep moving (because it is your work).

#BeGoalden

The Struggle Is Necessary

When you’re going through a hard time, it seems like everything is going down hill. You see no way for things to get better. There is no sign of hope, no matter where you turn.

The important thing is to keep going. Don’t give up on getting past the obstacle. It may last a week or a year, but you must see it through to the end. Close that chapter of your life so you can move on and continue to make progress.

It’s easier said than done, but surely you want to be on the other side, doing a victory dance. How you react to your struggle has an effect on how you handle things in your life, overall. There are three parts in a struggle where you can stop. Take a look and decide where you want to be:

The beginning. When a struggle first appears, it can be scary. Unless it’s something you’ve been through and you know how to deal with it, it can be difficult finding a solution. This is where some people stop. The struggle hasn’t even begun and they automatically make the assumption that they can’t do it – it’s too hard. This response promotes complacency. They’ll likely be stuck in the same rut for the rest of their lives.
The middle. Some people will give it a shot. They’ll start the process and gain a little momentum. When another challenge comes up, they’ll acknowledge it, but if nothing happens, they give up. When progress slows down, they slow down along with it. Nothing happens because they stopped putting in the effort to push forward. They never witness the breakthrough that was around the corner.
The end. Few people get to the end. Those that do, are rewarded greatly. There may have been countless struggles within the big struggle, but they stood their ground and kept moving forward. They may have even slowed down, but they never quit. These are the people who have their mind set on success. They can close that chapter in their book and take on the next necessary struggle in their journey.

Struggle happens to everyone – there’s no way around it, but to go through it. There are even struggles where you make the decision to cut your losses and move on to something else. Just because it’s a struggle doesn’t mean you have to go through it, but it has to be the struggle that relates to your end goal. There will be times where you’ll know, “This isn’t the right one.”

At the same time, whenever a struggle presents itself, don’t quit before you start. Just because it came at the wrong time doesn’t mean you instantly dismiss it. Know what struggle to take on. If it’s something that will get you closer to your goal, go for it. If it has nothing to do with what you’re dealing with, it’s okay to let it go.

Sometimes, people take on other people’s struggles as their own. It’s enough to handle your own challenges, let alone, taking on someone else’s. Know your struggle and let others handle theirs.

Your struggle is the way to your accomplishments.

That’s the path to your future. Every successful person has a story about how they got to where they are. If you avoid your struggle, you are ignoring the responsibility of creating the outcome of your life.

Don’t look at your struggle as an inconvenience. We see it as a bad thing, but once you master it, it gives you the ability to operate on a higher level in the future. It’s forcing you upward, towards your greatness. Success is the reward for overcoming potential defeat.

The struggle is necessary. Don’t be so comfortable or conceited that you refuse to go through it. Decide to move forward one step at a time. It’s always worth it in the end.

#BeGoalden

Own Your Best Self

Being your best everyday takes mental effort. You can wake up and decide to be confident in your abilities or you can decide to be lazy and unproductive.

Having a choice is a huge advantage. You’re capable of designing your day and your life. It’s the small, daily efforts that push you in the right direction towards your dream.

Your life is your responsibility. Are you going to sit back and see where it goes or are you going to take control and lead the way?

When we put ourselves in negative positions, it holds back our potential. The garbage that surrounds us and enters our minds, will eventually begin to sink into our vision.

When all you see are bad things around you, you’ll think that these bad things are what you deserve. It robs you of your strength to move forward and encourages a ‘lack’ mentality.

Don’t be a victim to your own pessimistic thoughts.

It’s so easy to allow that type of thinking to control your life. It’s easy to be negative, easy to hate, easy to throw insults, easy to not care, easy to be weak.

Don’t treat having a choice as an obstacle. We no longer have to wait on information. There’s no gatekeeper sizing you up to see if you belong. We’ve been so used to being one way, we don’t know how to get up and use our own power to move. Give yourself permission to decide.

Why not choose to be polite, intelligent, confident, loving and kind? Why not choose to be respectful, instead of vulgar? Productive, instead of complacent? Courageous, instead of fearful?

You are not one dimensional – humans have the ability to overcome anything, big or small! All you have to do is believe and make that decision.

You may say, “…but, it’s not that easy…”.

It may not be easy, but it certainly is possible. If there are people out there who can mentally and physically do more with less, surely you can find your potential and do it, too!

Whatever it is, take responsibility for it. It’s yours – the only thing stopping you, is you. Yes, it will take hard work, but the lessons learned and opportunities gained along the way are priceless.

Use your power to say, “I can!” Own your best self. Don’t claim being unhealthy, stagnant, or average. It’s time to put those negative thoughts to rest and start thinking with that hidden power within you.

Don’t hope to be the best, BE the best. Hope can only take you so far. Put some effort into designing your life. After all, it is your choice.

Go after your life with intent and OWN it!

Control Your Chaos

Everything doesn’t go as planned in the real world. Reaching your goals is an incredible effort within itself. You don’t have to let everyone else know the chaos you’re going through.

People are happy to get in your business. Some wish you well, but others will make their way into it and stir up more drama. They want to see you sweat and worry over the possibility of something bad happening.

Things may be happening here and there and it seems like it’s getting out of hand, but this is your journey – no matter what happens, you’re still in control.

Here are a few suggestions to help you get through it:

Don’t blurt out how bad things are going for you. Don’t put your business out there. Keep your plans under wraps. There are some people who may be able to help, but for the most part, you’re giving others a front row seat to watch you fall apart (at least that’s what they’re hoping for). Move in silence and allow your success to do the talking.
Think it through. Instead of accepting the confusion and dancing with defeat, drink some water and think it through. Things may be going a little rough now, but once you think it through, it’ll work itself out (with your help, of course). Give it some thought and give it some time.
Remember: you are in control. Everyone goes through obstacles along the way – it’s inevitable. When it comes, that’s your chance to figure things out and get over it, not to crumble and walk away. Take this opportunity to learn a better way. Apply your knowledge and do the work. When you win one obstacle, it gives you confidence to take on the next one.

Others are expecting you to fail. It gives them a chance to say, “I told you so,” or to deflect the negative attention to you and away from them. They are waiting to see you with your head down, but always keep your head up – you’re the one making progress and that’s always something to be proud of!

The joke’s on them, because you know what to do in these situations. You won’t give them the satisfaction of watching you fall, because you won’t. You’ll just figure out another way that works. You’ll always come out on top.

It may be chaos, but you are the one in control. Control your chaos. Don’t let it overwhelm you – take it step by step. Adapt to what has happened and adjust your route. Change the path, not the goal.

This is what the road to success looks like. It’s not easy and it will break you down at times, but how else will you learn?

The chaos doesn’t give you permission to stop, but permission to keep going. Take control of your chaos.

#BeGoalden

Rejection Is A Part of Growing

When we attempt to do something, we’ve been conditioned to cringe at the word ‘no.’ What makes this word so scary?

Whatever we do, we always look for approval, or a ‘yes.’ Getting a ‘no’ breaks us down, mentally.

Rejection is actually more constructive than we think it is. What can a ‘no’ do for you?

A ‘no’ will make you stronger. Don’t let your feelings get hurt. If people say ‘yes’ to you all the time, you become soft. You’ll expect everyone to give in to you and make you feel comfortable. There is no progress in comfort. Rejection is like exercising: the more reps you do, the stronger your muscle will become. Build your confidence, not your comfort level.
‘No’ sets you up for the best rewards. After going through so much rejection, the reward will be that much better. If you allow it to stop you, you’ll never know what could have been. Getting past a ‘no’ many times will prepare you for more opportunities in the future, because others will give up on their first try.
The more you hear ‘no,’ the more resilient you’ll be. After you hear it so much, you’ll have thick skin. Having thick skin means you can handle it like a pro. You know how to brush it off and move on. It shows that you’re not a quitter. Also, you prove to yourself that you have what it takes to be resilient and become successful.

Train yourself to keep going. Rejection is not there to make you feel bad, it’s there to push you to the next level. There won’t be a breakthrough unless you continue to take action.

As soon as you hear ‘no,’ move on to the next person. The word doesn’t hurt you, just your ego. Keep your emotions under control, so it won’t slow down your momentum. Always think, ‘what’s the next step.’

Don’t cheat yourself. ‘No’ is just code for ‘you can do it, so keep going.’ It puts you that much closer to getting a ‘yes.’ Don’t waste your time overthinking it – your only concern is to get results.

Rejection is very difficult to hear at first, but after a while, you’ll get the hang of it. You’ll develop a solid work ethic and become relentless. It doesn’t matter what others think – what matters is that you stay on track until you reach your goal.

Get Out of That Rut By Doing Your Part

Participating in something new can be exciting. You’re all fired up and you expect nothing but the best to happen.

In your mind, you’re thinking, “This is great! It’s going to change everything for me!”

Once you get the information and it’s time to do your part to make things happen, your excitement starts to fade. Eventually, it didn’t turn out the way you wanted. Your life is still the same.

Other people and things can only help you so much. It happens a lot, where people are expecting a ‘magic pill’ and nothing happens.

For example – you attend a real estate seminar that says you can make $10,000 in one month. The ‘guru’ shows you how it’s done.

When you go home, you look at the material.

A month has passed by and you think, “This was a scam. It didn’t even work.”

On the other hand, take a look at what happened. Did you follow through or are you disgruntled because it wasn’t as easy as you thought it would be?

If you honestly put in the effort, you can call it what you want to call it. If the only thing you did was let the material collect dust, you can’t say anything because you didn’t make a true attempt.

Don’t resort to being negative just because you didn’t do the work. Nothing is done for you. You can get help and support, but it’s still up to you to follow through on your end.

Using excuses is taking the lazy way out. Now you’re stuck in an emotional rut and everything stinks.

There is no ‘magic pill.’ There is no ‘hack.’

Your life is based upon your effort. You can only control what you do. Other people can give you suggestions and advice, but ultimately, you are the deciding factor of your success.

Life kicks everyone down. We’ve all lost money, we’ve all had a tough break, we’ve all had unexpected things happen.

It’s hard to think on the bright side of things when you’re going through it. Even when you think you’re failing, you have to do your part. Stop playing the victim and start finding your way.

Here are a few ideas to help get out of that rut:

Take 15 minutes. You can’t be mad forever, but you can be mad for 15 minutes. Get it out of your system for 15 minutes – shout, cry, throw something, whatever it is. Just do it for 15 minutes. After that, you have to get back to figuring out your next move.
Listen to that song. Everyone has that one song that makes you feel on top of the world. It gives you energy and makes you feel unstoppable.
Move. After listening to that song, it’ll make you want to move. Go for a walk, lift some weights, run – just go outside and move. When you move, you feel better.
Help somebody. Being helpful to someone can make their day. In return, it makes your day. Whether you volunteer at a homeless shelter or help someone with their groceries, you’ve made a contribution to the goodness of the world.

Even though it can feel like it, you’re not the only one going through something. Don’t get stuck in that rut, or else you’ll become that negative person that no one wants to be around.

Everyday is a chance to do better. It may not get better all at once, but it’s those little everyday fights that win the big battle over time.