judgment Archives - The Goalden Lady

The Fear of Judgment Is What Stops You

Fear is the “go-to” reason we use when you stop yourself from moving forward. Your mind becomes frozen and you procrastinate.

What’s the real reason behind fear? It can be many things, but there is one variable that goes unnoticed behind the “fear” facade – judgment.

What Are You Afraid Of?

The basic definition of fear is being afraid to do something. Have you ever thought of why you are scared to follow through with an idea?

When you begin working on your idea, you know there will be obstacles, mistakes and failures to overcome. It’s inevitable – it’s going to happen.

If you know this, why do you continue to run away from it? You want to be successful, but you don’t want to experience the embarrassment and setbacks that comes with it. It’s too much to take, so you just ignore it and stay average.

There’s no doubt that it can be debilitating at times, but how else will you get there? It’s not going to happen by wishing and hoping – that alone, won’t do it. At some point, you must get past the fear of being judged and move on.

Judgment Is An Illusion

“What will my friends think? What if I look stupid? What if it doesn’t work and everyone sees? What if I have to start over in front of everybody?”

Judgment from others is the basis of fear. No one likes to look like they don’t know what they’re doing – we all want to look like the genius! We want the adoring fans, the easy journey and the perfect life.

Before you can get to all of that, you have to get over your fear of being judged, because that’s simply what it takes. Think about your favorite person – do you think they didn’t go through embarrassment or hardships to get to where they are? You don’t think they sacrificed their feelings at some point to keep going?

Judgment will definitely put a stop to whatever you’re attempting to do, all because you’re more concerned about how you’ll look in front of others – instead, think about what you can create and contribute to the world.

Get Over It

One way to get over the fear of judgment is to look at the bigger picture. Unless your life is in danger, what you “fear” probably shouldn’t stress you out. Sometimes, we pick and choose what we react to and how we react – in the grand scheme of things, most things we react to really don’t even matter.

Another way to overcome judgment is by keeping your goals to yourself. Don’t give your time and energy to other people’s opinions of what you do. Continue to immerse yourself in your work and make your progress quietly.

You can also train your mind to acknowledge that everyone’s comments about your work isn’t about you, it’s really about them. This is the truth – people often project their self-doubt upon you. If they aren’t successful, you can’t be successful – if they didn’t go to college, you can’t go to college – if their marriage ended in divorce, yours will end in divorce.

The bottom line is you must see past those opinions. Most people are going to be jealous of what you do anyway, so why make it convenient for them by taking on their insecurities as your own?

Success Awaits You

If you can get past the fact that you will be judged and not allow it to hurt your feelings and put a stop to your journey, success awaits you.

Fear comes in many forms and you must learn how to handle it, no matter how it shows up. The main objective is to keep your focus and keep moving forward. Those setbacks, obstacles and failures only improve your strategy.

So many people have given up on their goals, just because of what someone else has said. Words have power, but only if you let them. Be mindful of what you say to others, as well as how you interpret what they say to you.

Your success does not depend on other people’s words. Instead of judging, be encouraging and supportive. Sometimes, all you need is a positive word to help you take, what seems to be, that next scary step.

The Fear of Judgment: What Can You Do?

The fear of judgment is one of the biggest fears that people have today. Any other form of negativity is acceptable, but when someone judges you, it’s a defeated feeling.

How does this fear develop? Is it something you can unlearn? Can you make yourself immune to these kinds of stubborn critiques?

The Fear of Being Judged

Maybe this type of fear began in school. You had to do a presentation in front of the class and the teacher would grade you on how well you did.

This is enough to make most people nervous. When someone is watching you and will be giving an opinionated assessment on what you’re doing, it can cause a little anxiety.

It’s good to be aware of how others perceive you, but when you take it too seriously, it becomes a hindrance. Other people’s opinion becomes your standard because you are constantly trying to appeal to their thoughts.

Also, when other people insult your ideas, it makes you second guess yourself. You start wondering what if they’re right or you’re not good enough to make your idea happen. Most of it is out of jealousy because you are elevating your life and they haven’t moved an inch. That’s the only way they can hold you back and sometimes, we allow it to stop us from starting.

What others think (or say) about you is not who you are. It is not the end of the world if someone has a negative view of you. People may create a vision in their minds of who they think you are, but it’s not necessarily true – it’s just an opinion.

Unlearn That Feeling

The best way to get over the fear of judgment is to not care at all. It can be difficult to do (because we’ve all been taught to please others to a degree), but it’s crucial to your growth and your life’s success.

No one else is you and no one can be you. That should be motivating in itself! You’ve created yourself up to this point and you should know who you are. If someone makes a judgment about you, it shouldn’t make you stop in your tracks. Your goals are your number one priority, not what someone says to insult you.

If someone says something untrue about you, ignore it. Don’t give away your energy so easily. People will say things to get under your skin or simply out of jealousy. If you know this, why let it affect you?

Unlearn this thing where you have to please everyone and be who they want you to be. It’s a false assumption. Trust yourself enough to weed out the bad voices and the people who say those negative things. They judge you because they are insecure. They feel bad, therefore, they want someone else to feel bad, also.

By knowing yourself, you can unlearn the habit of taking any kind of judgment to heart.

No Judging

Since you know how it feels to be judged in a negative way, you should act accordingly. Never assume or judge anyone else, whether you know them or not. Everyone is different and should be given the opportunity to create their own lives as they see fit.

Not judging others gives everyone a chance to grow and expand their mindset. The thought of not following through with a task or a goal, just because someone thinks you can’t do it, is ridiculous. Don’t live the rest of your life fitting into someone else’s box that they designed for you.

You only have one life. Live it to your fullest potential and until you make your dreams come true. No one else can do it for you. Take the initiative, act on your plan and fulfill your destiny. You have one shot.

#BeGoalden

5 Bad Habits To Unlearn To Achieve The Impossible Goal

5 Bad Habits To Unlearn To Achieve Any Impossible Goal

Achieving the impossible goal seems time consuming. In today’s world, it’s easy to be complacent. Instant gratification is at an all-time high and just about everything around us can be done in a microwave minute.

Moving forward seems so easy, yet, it’s so hard to do. In our minds, we make all kinds of plans and goals, but in reality, we stop ourselves before we even start.

Somewhere in between, we need to make a connection with mentally thinking it, to physically doing it.

5 Bad Habits To Unlearn

Thinking about your past. The only reason you should reflect on the past, is to see how far you’ve come. We make the mistake of thinking so much about what happened, we start to live there. That’s where you get stuck. There’s a reason it’s called the past – what’s done is done and you can’t go back and change it. Have the courage to define your future and step into the unknown. That’s where growth happens.
Failing. We’ve all experienced failure at some point in our lives. Let’s shift the perception – ‘failure’ is just another word for ‘learning’. You don’t fail, you learn. Just because you failed at something doesn’t mean it’s not for you and you should quit. When you look back and see the mistake and how you could have done better, implement it and do it again. Not only will you improve upon what you’re doing, but you’ll make progress towards your impossible goal.
Procrastination. We put things off until tomorrow, Monday, or next year. Your diet doesn’t always have to start on Monday, you can just as easily start it on Thursday, or whatever day you think about it. Stop putting things off. Get uncomfortable and make a move. If you don’t do it now, when will you do it? ‘Eventually’ never comes. Do it now.
Accepting judgment from others. People will make fun of you and throw witty insults at you all day long. It’s nothing new. They are insecure about themselves, so know that it’s not you, it’s them. They want to put their fears on you, without pointing the finger at themselves. Don’t let it get you down. You are growing and they’re not. That’s scary to them, because it shows that you’re making progress and they’re staying the same. Never take those judgments personal. Keep it moving.
Making excuses. This is a major one. Not only do we use excuses on others, we use them on ourselves! “I can’t exercise today because I have a doctor’s appointment. If I exercise in the morning, that means I’ll have to wash my hair and by the time I get back home, it’ll be too hot and I’ll have to take another shower and…” Just stop it. You’re either going to do it or not – there’s no story long enough that’s going to validate your excuse.

When To Start Your Impossible Goal

There’s never a good time to start anything. This is procrastination at it’s finest. We all talk about ‘perfect timing’, but it doesn’t exist.

The time to start is always now. If you don’t start, how do you expect to get it done? Your results don’t appear out of the sky – you must take action if you want to see your success.

It’s okay if you have to do it alone. If you wait on your friends, you’ll be waiting forever and most of all, wasting time. Don’t be afraid to step out and start on your own.

You’ll Never Be Ready

“I’ll start when I’m ready.” This is another way we prevent ourselves from moving forward. You’re never 100% ready. Start when you’re 30% ready or just 10% ready.

Being fully ready never happens. Know that if you just start, you’ll learn the rest as you go along. This is where learning and improvement take place, but you must have the confidence to begin.

Go out and just do it! Be uncomfortable with the wrong time and not being fully prepared – that’s the journey! You’ll be so much better on the other side than if you were to be lazy and stagnant. Take a chance, make that first step and achieve the impossible!

#BeGoalden