I had a friend who called me one day to ask if I wanted some watermelon. I asked, “Is it already cut?” She says, “No – you can cut it yourself.”
I nicely replied, “I don’t cut watermelon.”
“So how else do you eat it?” She replied.
“I buy it already cut.”
Why did I say that?
For the next ten minutes, she went on a rampage, telling me how crazy it was that I paid more money to buy watermelon that’s already cut. Here’s more:
“Why would you buy it already cut? You can cut it yourself.”
“That’s a waste of money.”
“You’re that lazy, that you wouldn’t cut your own watermelon?”
“But it’s free – I’m giving it to you!”
“You don’t want a free watermelon because you have to cut it?”
“Why don’t you want it?”
“BECAUSE I DON’T CUT WATERMELON!”
Can we move forward with our lives now?!
After listening to her rant for the next 10 minutes, I made a decision.
While listening to her, I decided to minimize my time with her. She responds this way whenever someone doesn’t do things the way she would do them. Not only is this a waste of energy on both our parts (she’s wasting her energy and draining mine), it’s a waste of time. I don’t know what she was attempting to accomplish by trying to make me feel stupid for not cutting watermelon, but whatever it was, it didn’t work. The conversation should have went like this:
“Hey, girl, I have 3 watermelons – would you like one?”
“No thanks, I don’t cut watermelon.”
“Ok, call you later.”
End of conversation. Energy and time saved for better things to do. Let’s move on.
(I don’t cut watermelon because I am no good with knives and big objects.)