August 2021 - The Goalden Lady

Finding Your Inner Strength

Inner strength is something that you can not find from anywhere else – it’s inside of you. This means that no one can give it to you or offer it at your convenience.

You feel like you can take on the world when someone encourages you and that’s a great feeling. What happens when there is no one there to give you that motivation? Do you wait for it before you move on or do you somehow create it yourself and go about your day?

Your Emotional Attachment To Opinions

Most people allow the opinion of others to dictate how their day goes. If someone gives you a compliment on your shirt, you’re in a pleasant mood. If someone rudely interrupts your conversation, you’re annoyed and it ruins the rest of your week.

Throughout life, everyone isn’t going to “like your shirt”. It’s nice that you were given a word of kindness, but does it throw you off when you receive the opposite?

Allowing your emotions to be attached to someone else’s opinion is one of the easiest ways to lose yourself. You’ll find yourself always trying to please others and living for what they say about you. You don’t have control over what someone says or thinks about you, but you do have control over how you respond to it.

There are people in the world who live to bring others down. They get their excitement from watching you crumble under their words. Don’t be an easy target – if you know they say certain things to spark a reaction, as simple as it sounds, just don’t react.

No one controls your emotions but you. You have a goal to conquer, so don’t let a little negative comment or action disrupt what you’re doing. It’s all a distraction to keep you down – know that you have the inner strength to ignore it and move on.

Waiting For Permission

Another way you give away your power is by waiting for permission. Growing up, it was the thing to do – you raise your hand to ask to go to the restroom or you ask your mom to go outside and play. Permission has it’s place for certain things, but it shouldn’t become a habit when it comes to your vision.

As an adult, you shouldn’t ask or wait for permission to follow your dream. No one in this world has the blueprint to the perfect life. If you ask, people will mostly give you a negative point of view or a million reasons why it wont’ work. Again, their opinion keeps you from accomplishing your goal.

Create a life where you are in control. Waiting for someone to agree with your idea is a waste of time. If you know what you want to do, do it. If it goes wrong, you learn from it and keep going – time waits for no one.

When others say, “Don’t do that, it’ll ruin your life…” your inner strength says, “Let’s do it and see what happens – you’ll figure it out along the way.” Looking for approval from others never works in your favor.

Imagine what you could do if you followed your own power.

Your Inner Strength Is Already There

Your inner strength is tested everyday. You already have it, you just need to activate it for yourself. Don’t wait for someone else to flip your switch on – you are the source.

Motivation is nice, but it’s best to be your own motivation. You can look to others for inspiration, but at some point, you have to take the reins and inspire yourself. Encouragement feels good, but you can talk to yourself better than anyone else can.

You’d be surprised at how often you give away your emotional energy to others on a daily basis. Find the power to walk your own path. Your inner strength is there – don’t be afraid to use it.

#TBT: Be Grateful For The Simple Things

Taking the time to be grateful for the simple things in our daily lives is something that we tend to overlook. Between work and distractions, it can be easy to forget.

By being mindful of the things you are grateful for, it lets you work from a place of sincerity. Instead of different things ticking you off, you allow it to pass, without it bothering you or disrupting your day.

5 Simple Things To Be Grateful For:

Breathing – It may seem simple, but someone didn’t get to wake up today, or they didn’t make it through the entire day. There are even people who have a hard time breathing on their own and depend on machines to assist them. Be thankful for the natural act of breathing.
Challenges – We normally call these ‘problems.’ Yes, you should be grateful for your challenges, as well. Challenges may be difficult, but they allow you to grow and give you confidence. If you can make it through a challenge, you can do anything.
Thoughts – Your thoughts give you the ability to be creative and think on your own. You can come to your own conclusions and set your own standards. Your thoughts are the blueprint to your life. As Napoleon Hill said, “Whatever your mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve.”
Family and Friends – You may not like some of your family, or you may be at odd with some of your friends, but no matter what kind of relationship you have, they had a part in shaping you. You picked up some good habits and some bad habits – you learned what to do and what not to do. Observing them helped you to become who you are.
Freedom – Being free, you are able to do what you want to do. Unlike jail, you can wake up when you want to, go to work if you want to, or chase an opportunity whenever you feel like it. The choice is yours because you are free. There are some people in the world who are still being held captive against their will. Be grateful that you are free and have control over your own life.

Be Thankful For Life

We don’t know when our time is up, so make everyday count and be grateful for what you are able to do. Instead of putting things off for tomorrow (because tomorrow never comes), be productive and do them today.

Wherever your life takes you, be thankful for the experience. Life has a way of making us feel like we’re the only ones when terrible things happen. There is someone who has been through your experience and you’re never the only one who is going through that situation.

Even when things aren’t going great, continue to fight. It’s hard, but be grateful that you are operating from a place of strength and will come out more powerful on the other side. The hard times are what make us who we are.

Always remember to be grateful in the good and the bad times. It all comes together to create the perfect you in the end.

#BeGoalden

When You Complain, Does It Change?

We like to complain when things change. Life is full of moments that you love and moments that you wish never happened. Those experiences make you into who you are today.

Understand that adapting to change is necessary. If you don’t, your entire life will keep going in the same circle, day in and day out. Most people don’t like change, because it’s out of their routine and they don’t know what to expect – actually, you should expect to learn something.

Then, there are those things that we know will happen like clockwork, yet, we avoid the responsibility of preparing for it. Granted, it’s impossible to be ready for every little thing that could possibly happen, but having an emergency fund and keeping an umbrella in your car goes a very long way.

Paying bills is one of those things. If you think the internet bill is too much, don’t complain about it, simply find another provider or cut it off. Problem solved. There’s no need to expand on why it’s too much and how they should have done it.

Complain or Move

“Is your cucumber bitter? Throw it away. Are there briars in your path? Turn aside. That is enough.”
Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

These are the types of little complaints that we spew everyday. “It’s always something,” you think. There are some things that occur on a regularly scheduled basis, but we still complain about it (like the bills), and it’s a total distraction and waste of energy.

Have a solutions-based mindset. Be proactive and responsible with your thoughts. Complaining all the time is a drag, not only to you, but to those around you. It benefits no one to constantly speak on things without suggesting a strategy to make it better.

Bring some type of value to your conversations (with yourself and with others). We all know that gas is expensive – how many different ways can you openly be bitter about it? Go to another gas station, purchase an electric vehicle or stay home.

We tend to make things harder than they have to be. We can solve most of our problems if we can get past the initial negative reaction. Getting stuck at the “complaint” stage encourages laziness and holds us back.

Don’t sabotage yourself – if you’re going to complain, do it for five seconds. Then, find an answer and move on. There are better things to do with your life than to waste it on something you’re likely going to continue doing anyway.

#TBT: 3 Strategies For A Productive Day

#TBT: 3 Strategies For Creating A Productive Day

Throughout the day, we experience various situations that affect us. There are things that occur out of our control, yet, we allow it to navigate our daily lives.

If you want to have a productive day, you must put forth the effort to create it. Many times, we get up in the morning and we go wherever the day takes us. There are 3 strategies that can contribute to you having a more focused and productive day.

Start Having A Productive Day

Know what needs to be done and do it. Creating a schedule, or a list of things to do, will work for your benefit. If you let the day lead you, there’s no guarantee that it will be productive. Direct your day and complete the tasks that need to be done. Don’t be wasteful with your time. Things may happen out of the blue and some of it may not get done, but making a physical effort will get you farther than having no plan at all.
Change your language. When we wake up in the morning, most of us are thinking, “It’s going to be a long day – I really don’t feel like going to that meeting – another day, another dollar…” That’s the language of defeat – no wonder your days haven’t been productive. Words have power, but when you give that power away with your negative language, it will work against you all day. Be grateful when you awake. Speak positive by saying things like, “Today is the day – everything will work in my favor – I will make today great!” Don’t just say it, feel it and make it happen. Be happy that you get another opportunity to enhance your life the way you want to.
Adjust your emotions. Many times, we go off of our emotions when different things happen. We allow our environment to determine how we feel. If someone is mad about something, that doesn’t mean you have to be mad, too. Let it go and focus on having a good day. If you get a speeding ticket, don’t let it take over your day, or your week, by continuously being angry. You do have a choice to let the little things go by not allowing it to consume your life at the moment. Don’t let 15 minutes of bitterness hold you hostage for the rest of the day. Feel it, let it go and move on.

Playing Mental Defense

All of these strategies will take time to work into your life. When you allow outside factors to control and dictate how you move, your productivity becomes nonexistent. It’s your choice to make, whether you want to take advantage of the day ahead of you, or if you will let it flow with the wind.

Be prepared for when things happen out of your control. Play mental defense when it comes to Negative Nancy’s, social media and gossip. You know the distractions are out there and it’s going to happen, so be ready to respond constructively.

As long as you know what you need to do, change your self-talk and play productive defense, you will become successful at creating a more productive and positive day. Remember: control the day – don’t let the day control you.

#BeGoalden

Finding Fault: It’s Not Always Someone Else

It’s not always someone else’s fault – sometimes, it’s you. Some people are content with pointing the finger, being miserable and playing the victim in every situation.

Holding yourself accountable is a skill – the more you practice, the better you become. Please know that no one else is to blame for the way your life has turned out so far. No matter how much you point your finger, the responsibility is with you.

At what point do you own up to your actions? When does it stop being someone else’s fault?

Playing The Victim

Just like being responsible is a skill, playing the victim is a skill, too. It’s the more obvious skill to command, but it does come easier to some, than others.

Yes, Sally received a promotion at work and makes more money. You can think whatever you want, but it happened. Don’t let this one thing hold you back in life. Whether she deserved it or not, you can only control what you do.

That’s not to say you should just accept everything that happens in life. There are times where you need to fight back and stand up for what’s right, but it doesn’t need to happen with every disagreement, every argument or every feeling of jealousy.

Your emotions can push you to feel entitled to what everyone else has, but that shouldn’t matter. We all feel we deserve the best, but everyone’s life isn’t the same. Worrying over someone else’s lifestyle won’t give you a better one. You haven’t been cheated, but you can cheat yourself.

The life you live is uniquely yours. You think that someone else has it better than you, or you can see it as motivation to climb to the next level. The quality of someone else’s life does not dictate the quality of yours. You can only change through making responsible decisions and holding yourself accountable.

It’s Your Fault

What are you doing to achieve the life you want? Are you constantly complaining about how someone else had it better, or are you continuously prepping yourself to get to where you want to be?

Your mindset is where it starts. Instead of being that person who blames and complains about others, find a way to create the life you want.

Be logical, not emotional.

We tend to create excuses when we see someone else is doing good. How we react to other people’s success reflects our thoughts about our own lives. Someone else’s good fortune shouldn’t spark negative thoughts. The reality is, you never know what they had to go through to get where they are.

If you see someone who makes lots of money with their business, don’t suck your teeth and conclude that they “came from money,” – look past your emotions and see if you can be just as successful. You shouldn’t be condescending, you should be inspired.

Before you become envious, be motivated. Know that you can create your own advantages just like anyone else. The possibility is always there, but you will have to take your journey to make it happen. Jealousy just takes energy away from being productive. Why hate others for what they have, when you can have it, too?

Remove Your Emotions

Most people want the reward without putting in the effort. That’s where the thoughts of jealousy and envy stem from. True, some people are given things without having to start from the absolute bottom, but that’s their life – what are you doing to enhance your life?

Control what you do. It makes no sense to spend time debating about how someone else has it better. Stressing over what others have does not contribute to your plan. Making up excuses as to why you aren’t on their level is childish.

The grass may be greener on the other side, but that’s irrelevant. All you can do is make sure you keep watering your own.

#TBT: Increase Your Action To Destroy Your Fear

Fear keeps us in procrastination mode. We only procrastinate, not because we don’t feel like doing something, but because our fear is keeping us from taking action.

Fear has a way of making us feel comfortable. If we attempt something new, there’s a chance it won’t work and we don’t like that feeling. Therefore, we avoid moving forward, so we won’t have to feel that embarrassment or negative judgment.

How do we overcome fear? Why does it have such a hold on us? Is there a way we can destroy the thought?

How does fear work?

As far as achieving your goals is concerned, fear is not real. Fear is something that you’ve created in your head, so you won’t have to go through the hard work and dedication that it takes to reach a goal.

Think about people who go after what they want. It seems that they have not an ounce of fear in them. They have laser-like focus and nothing stops them. Even if they fail, they automatically turn around and change course, but they continue towards the same goal.

Somewhere down the line, we’ve been brainwashed to avoid pain by being fearful. Therefore, we ignore the failing path to our results, because we don’t want to get hurt by failure.

Failure is nothing more than learning.

When you fail, you know what NOT to do. Now, you can proceed with the knowledge that the first way won’t work. Since you’ve failed at it, you know how to proceed more wisely.

By increasing your action, you destroy your fear. When you fail at something, take another action until you get through it. Don’t waste time by being hurt and giving in to doubtful feelings. You discovered a solution that didn’t work, now you can move forward with finding one that does.

You are your own biggest enemy. If you remove those limiting thoughts and beliefs from your mind, you can accomplish anything. After you have a small win from overcoming that obstacle, you’ll gain confidence and confidence will drive out the fear, more and more.

Your mind will want to give up. It will begin to create excuses. Excuses are another form of procrastination, which is another form of fear. If you take a deep breath and just do it, you’ll see that it’s not as hard as you think it is. If it won’t kill you, do it!

People will also put fear in you through insults and by giving you examples of who tried, but didn’t make it. Know this: that is their insecurity. They will put their fears on you. Don’t listen to them. Instead, give them a little inspiration and show them how it’s done.

It’s not a good idea to tell negative people your goals, because they will only say things to bring you down. Share your ideas with people who can help or who are supportive. Or, you could just keep it to yourself and let your actions speak on your behalf.

Overcoming Fear

The key is to keep taking action. The more action you take, the more your fear will disappear. Don’t hold yourself back by avoiding obstacles. That resistance is the path that will take you to your end result – that’s the path that will carry you to success.

Keep taking action. If you come across a challenge and you don’t know what to do, ask someone who might know or Google it. You are more than capable of figuring out other possibilities to accomplish your goal. Whatever you do, don’t allow fear to drive your dreams away. Instead, drive your fears away by taking continuous action.

#BeGoalden

Make A Commitment or Hope For A Coincidence?

Your level of commitment has a lot to do with how far you’ll go with your goals. If you never promise yourself to remain determined and unbothered, you’ll be in the same place, year after year.

What about those people who seem to be lucky – the ones who are born into money or who have numerous assets passed down to them? Is it fair to say it was merely a coincidence of life?

Commitment Is A Great Start

There’s this thing you want to do. It’s going to change your life and take away all of your worries and stress. Within that moment, you decide to commit to making it happen.

Committing to a goal is a huge part of the success foundation. Things don’t just happen out of the blue or fall into your lap – there must be an idea, an action and a result.

How do you develop an idea into a result? By commitment. Committing yourself to the journey that is supposed to create a better version of yourself is part of what it takes.

Some of us will commit in the beginning and fall off, mainly because the result isn’t coming fast enough. Yes, it becomes challenging and the obstacles can be overwhelming at times, but by making the commitment, you should have the desire to see it through.

People say motivation is a scam or it doesn’t work, but everything starts with a thought. Nine times out of ten, motivation sparked your decision to commit in the first place. Your greatness may not happen in a week, but it surely won’t happen if you give up.

This is what separates the average from the extraordinary.

Coincidence

Granted, there are some people who will never have to start their life from the bottom or know what it feels like to struggle. We all are dealt a different hand, but don’t let that get in the way. Stop comparing and get to work.

It does no good to be jealous of your friend’s massive inheritance or their family passing on a job to them. Are you just going to pout and speak badly upon their “luck” to make yourself feel better?

That’s what most people do. It’s easy to complain and blame someone else for your shortcomings. It’s not a coincidence that they were born with more advantages. Stop thinking you got the short end of the stick and become the person to create an inheritance to pass to your family.

We fail to see that this is what happened to the “lucky” ones. Someone started, prepared and made the commitment to build their empire. This doesn’t happen out of the blue – someone was determined, consistent and did the work.

Advantages don’t happen by coincidence. It started somewhere, with someone who was forward-thinking. It’s not that someone wished hard enough, but someone took action hard enough and it happened.

Call it a coincidence if you want to, but at some point, someone had to get the ball rolling and it created a benefit for others. That’s how coincidence works.

Will You Wish Or Work?

Your grandparents may not have had a million dollars for you to inherit, but you can make the commitment and begin creating opportunities that will assist the ones you love. Life isn’t always fair, but you do have the ability to do something about it.

For one, you can take advantage of the internet. There are limitless videos, pdf’s and other sources you can look into. Commit to investing in yourself and improving your circumstances. The access is available for everyone, but you must not become distracted by the noise and use it to your best interest.

Also, mind your own business. Everyone is living their own lives – they don’t need a commentator or someone to talk about what they’re doing wrong. Discussing someone else’s downfall might make you feel good, but you’re only slowing down your own progress – its’ a waste of energy. Instead, use that energy to train your mind to focus on you and what you’re going to accomplish.

Overall, pick your poison – are you going to compare yourself to others, blame it on coincidence and complain, or are you going to roll up your sleeves and decide to commit to the betterment of your future?

#TBT: There’s Still A Chance

Your life has taken an unexpected turn. Everything seems like it’s going downhill. You feel like everything is spiraling out of control.

Get a hold of yourself. It looks bad, but you have the ability to handle it and push through. Change happens in everyone’s life, but we all have to be determined to figure it out.

Don’t Have A Pity Party

The first thing we tend to do is feel sorry for ourselves. We ask questions like, “Why is this happening to me? What did I do to deserve this? Why me?”

Those are the wrong questions to ask yourself, especially if it’s not in your control. Things happen and we take pity on ourselves and expect others to take pity on us, as well. Having a pity party does nothing for you or your situation.

It’s hard, but flip your perspective. Ask yourself, “How can I make this work for me? What can I do now that I’ve always wanted to do? How can this work in my favor?”

Don’t Beat Yourself Up

Another thing we tend to do is put ourselves down. Our self-esteem goes from 100 to zero.

We attempt to justify what happened by beating ourselves up and being critical. Putting yourself down only makes things worse, because now, you’re fighting against yourself, along with the situation.

It’s not you – change is inevitable. It’s going to happen when you least expect it. That doesn’t mean you have to fold and take it without fighting back. The sooner you realize this, the sooner you can get up and move forward.

Be Resilient

Once you reach this point, it’s all or nothing. You can either decide to stay down, or you can take the necessary steps to begin making progress.

Don’t wait on anyone to encourage you – encourage yourself. Be your own hero and lift yourself up. Others may not be around during your tough time, so you have to depend on yourself to bounce back.

Be laser-focused. Ignore distractions. Work on building yourself up again. Bet on yourself because no one can do this part, but you.

You will run into more obstacles and challenges. It’s not going to be easy, but don’t let yourself fall into a vortex of negative thinking. The only way through it is to take action and do something about it.

You Will Find Your Way

Even when you’re going through all of this, you must control your emotions. You will want to quit. You will feel defeated, but know that you’re building your future.

Life can get overwhelming. When you feel this way, by all means, rest or take a break – just don’t make the mistake of staying there. It’s easy to get comfortable, so be careful – this is where most people get stuck.

Success may happen today – it may happen next week, or next year. You’ll never know if you quit. Keep going and continue to make adjustments along the way. You will find your way, but only if you stay the course.

If you have breath in your body and you wake up in the morning, there’s still a chance – the possibility is always there. Anything can happen, as long as you believe in yourself and keep moving forward.

#BeGoalden

Find Yourself And Get To Know You

Find yourself and become who you were meant to be. How many times have we gone along with what others wanted to do? We know all about our friends and the people around us, but do you know yourself?

Sure, you know what your favorite color is and what makes you angry, but it goes a little deeper than that. If you didn’t have your social environment, who would you be? Would you still be the same person or has your surroundings influenced you more than you know?

Who Are You?

You are not what other people think of you. Everyone has an opinion. It’s easy to allow what someone else thinks to become your label.

This develops as an unconscious habit that began when you were little. Adults would say things about you (whether encouraging or hurtful) and you accepted it, just because they said it. You were a kid – what else were you supposed to think?

As you become older, you came into peer pressure or cancel culture. You based your actions and thoughts around what would get others to like you. No one wants to be the odd one out, so it creates a behavior where you always go along with whatever is happening.

Everyone may like you, but do you like yourself? Can you stand to be alone with your own original thoughts for more than twenty minutes at a time, or does it scare you?

The older you get, you’ll notice how time flies and you’ll reflect on your life. If you listen to older people, one of their biggest regrets is not doing what they wanted to do, because they going along with what everyone else was doing.

If you don’t correct this habit, your entire life will pass you by.

How To Find Yourself

So how do you get to know yourself before it’s too late?

As mentioned above, spend some time alone. Allow your thoughts to wonder past what someone else would think. To some, this can be difficult – when you’ve never been alone, it can be hard to think for yourself because you’ve always accepted other people’s thoughts and not your own.

Break through that moment. Think on your own. Write a bucket list of things you want to do and achieve. You may think of things that seem extraordinary or out of place with what everyone else is doing, but that’s you. Diving into different experiences is what makes life adventurous.

This should be done completely on your own, without any distractions from anyone or anything else. Just you and your thoughts. Don’t be afraid of yourself or what you come up with. You’ve been hiding all this time – now it’s time to find yourself.

Everyone is not meant to be your friend. It’s fine if your interaction with someone becomes less. Some people are in your life for a season, not for a lifetime. They do what they were supposed to do and move on. Don’t cling – accept it and move on, too.

Once you actually take the time and find yourself, you’ll start to come across others who share the same interests. Be honest with yourself and act upon your thoughts. Stop ignoring what’s been inside of you – even if you must do it alone, just give it a shot.

You don’t always need an approving audience, but you do need to approve yourself. Be mindful , get to know what you like and who you are and love it! You don’t want to be 65 years old, wishing you would have lived life your way. The only person who can change it, is you.

Find yourself and love your life – you won’t regret it!