You’re working hard at completing your goal. During this time, there have been setbacks, fires for you to put out almost everyday and people who haven’t been too supportive – you know, the typical process.
Once you have successfully completed your goal, it’s celebration time! You did what you set out to do and it is, by far, one of your best achievements!
All of this is good and you deserve to celebrate what you accomplished. However, don’t celebrate too long. This is where complacency kicks in.
“I’ll just take a week off – then, I’ll get back to it.” That’s what you tell yourself. Then one week turns into two weeks and you tell yourself, “I’ll start on Monday.”
It’s catching up with you slowly and it’s starting to set in – you’re getting too comfortable and complacent. Comfortably complacent.
No big deal. It happens to the best of us. You’ve achieved your goal and you feel relieved that you can slow down for a moment. Those late nights and early mornings were starting to catch up to you.
Don’t let that comfortable feeling get in the way of your next goal. I know it feels good, but don’t let it take over. Next thing you know, it’ll be this time next year and you’ll wonder what happened.
When you find yourself becoming comfortably complacent, don’t. Start the next chapter of your goals, even if it’s just writing a blueprint of what you’re going to do within a day or so. Do something to keep up your momentum, because once you lose it, it’s hard to get back.
This is why some people advocate the ’24/7, work on your goals night and day,’ lifestyle. If you get complacent easily, that may be the best strategy for you. I’ve learned to take a few days and then, get back to work – it works for me. It’s not easy, but it can be done.
So don’t let yourself get too lazy and comfortable after you’ve successfully completed that humongous goal. Have your celebration, but don’t stay away too long. After all – complacency awaits you.
You want to be successful, but for some reason, the work doesn’t come out of you.
You want to be healthier, but for some reason, you can’t find time to exercise and eat better.
You want to focus on becoming a better version of yourself, but for some reason, those actions just don’t align with what you’re doing right now.
Overall, you know what you need to do, but what is it that keeps stopping you and holding you back?
It’s the excuses we give ourselves and the people we try to impress.
So why do we depend on other people’s opinions? Why do we place so much value on how others feel about what we want to do?
We all want to be accepted. The fastest way to gain acceptance is by doing things that others want us to do. Once you’re in this cycle, it’s hard to get out, because you then have to face the rejection and embarrassment that may come along with it.
How do you tackle this?
Self Accountability
It all comes down to holding yourself accountable. Making a to-do list and having reminders and notifications are great tools that can help accommodate your goals, but if you don’t follow through, what good is it?
Being accountable for your actions is the foundation for anything you want to do. If you really want to achieve what you set out to do, the only person that can stop you is yourself.
It doesn’t matter if things don’t go right or someone put a wrench in your plans. You are in control. Things can happen in your favor, but they can also happen against you – accept it. Those challenges and obstacles build you into becoming the person you want to be – overcoming fear, pain and unfavorable circumstances makes you a better version of yourself, not excuses.
Instead of actively going through the things that pause your progress, you make excuses and become complacent. It’s easier to blame the rain, than it is to work out inside. Your co-worker didn’t replace the paper in the copy machine, so that’s why you’re late with the report. You were tired from a hard day, that’s why you chose to eat fast food.
Excuses can not coexist with accountability. It’s one or the other. When you make the choice to elevate yourself, don’t allow those “reasons” (a nice word for excuses) to derail your commitment. Yes, it’s comfortable, but being comfortable doesn’t make a way for success.
Make Up Your Own Mind
What’s in your mind? How do you think? What shapes your thoughts?
Throughout life, we become conditioned to think a certain way. This happens through our environment, parents and friends.
When you were a child, anything was possible and you set out to make it possible. There were no fears or doubts in your mind that you could build a rocket in your backyard and fly to space, all in one day.
Somewhere along the line, someone told you that it was impossible. They supplied you with convenient excuses and logical ‘reasons’ as to why you couldn’t build that rocket. They placed their limitations on you and eventually, you accepted those limitations as your own.
Today, people tend to discourage independent thought. If someone says they’re going to become president, others will give them a thousand reasons why they won’t become president. Want to become a fashion designer at age 50? Announce it and people will call you crazy.
Everyone has their own opinion and thoughts, but that doesn’t mean you have to jump on their bandwagon. NEWSFLASH: You can think for yourself! Your ideas don’t have to be approved or validated by anyone else. You don’t need outside confirmation to know you’re doing the right thing or what’s in your heart.
When a child has a vision, they stick to it. Be that child, again. Stand by your ideas and work out your strategies until one succeeds. Don’t let the negative comments and non-believers live inside your head.
Excuses Will Always Exist
When you take control of your mind, you take control of your life. You are not here to build your dreams based upon how other people think you should. Get out of your own way and become aware of your own power.
There may be some things you have to unlearn and that is totally okay. Your life demands more of you. Make the decision to be ambitious and see where your potential will lead.
Reclaim your brain and get rid of the excuses. Your life is waiting.
Preparation and being ready is key to becoming great, but sometimes, we can over do it.
Getting ready to get ready is really an excuse to procrastinate. We say things like:
I’ll start on Monday (everybody’s favorite)
When I get $500, then I’ll start saving
When I finish all of the ice cream in the freezer, then I’ll start my diet
When I buy some exercise equipment, then I’ll start exercising
Do you see a pattern? When I do ‘x’, then I’ll do ‘y’.
When Should You Start?
It may be hard to admit, but this is just a fancy form of procrastination. Anything you can do, can be done immediately. It won’t make any difference when you start, but because you are constantly ‘getting ready to get ready’, you never begin.
This is why it’s better to start your ideas soon after you have them. Giving yourself time to ‘get ready’ only prolongs what you are trying to do.
In the above examples, you can start any of those things right away. Most people like to start their plans on Monday. Why not start the following day? Why can’t you start saving money now, even if you don’t have $500? What does eating all of the ice cream first have to do with you beginning a new diet? Instead of wasting time trying to buy the right exercise equipment, why not start with a YouTube workout or go outside and play with the kids?
Stay Ready
Anything you want to do can be done without using the ‘getting ready to get ready’ excuse formula. We have to stop giving ourselves an easy way out. Procrastination only brings about more procrastination – it’s a neverending cycle.
Make up your mind that you will start, no matter what the circumstances are in your head. Don’t hinder your own growth – don’t become your own enemy. Be disciplined and take action. Have the confidence to move forward and create progress. You are more than capable and prepared to start than you think you are.
Hold yourself accountable and take control of your future. Hesitating won’t get you anywhere. You don’t want to be in the same place, a year from now. Be extraordinary and do what needs to be done, even when you don’t feel like it. Embrace those challenges so that you can become the exceptional person you’re meant to be!
Some of us are resisting life. We’re fighting against opportunities and greatness. Things are so comfortable, we don’t want to “rock the boat” or make any changes to how things are going.
Everyday, there’s some form of holding back that we do. Whether it’s big or small, it’s imperative that we learn to handle it, so it doesn’t become (or continue to be) the norm.
Exactly What Are You Resisting?
Resistance is procrastination, making excuses, limiting yourself, avoiding responsibility, taking the easy way out…need I go on?
There’s something inside of you that wants the best – we all have it. The only thing that stops us is fear and fear embodies an entire list of negative traits.
When you resist, you fall into complacency. Being a disciplined and focused hard worker is a joke. Everyone around you laughs at others who have good work ethic, because “why do you want to work so hard?”
While you were busy saying no to every once in a lifetime chance and ignoring how to improve yourself, all of the thoughts and emotions turned into negative energy inside your body and your mind. It all has to go somewhere. You’ll see it in your body, the way you speak, how you treat others and most of all, how you truly see yourself. When you decide to be a better person, you have to face all of the crap that you put yourself through.
Resistance will feel normal after you become used to it. Nothing will frustrate you or embarrass you anymore, because you’ve crawled to the lowest level of your own existence. You know it, but you don’t want to admit it to yourself.
That’s where the real work comes in.
Change = Growth
Once you’ve accepted the fact that you haven’t been living your best life, you’ll want to change. One of the first things you should do is change your environment.
The type of people you hang around counts for a lot. If you are around five lazy people, chances are, you’re the sixth. Everyone has a place in your life, so upgrade your circle to a group of ambitious people. You can still hang out with your lazy friends, just not everyday.
Soon, you’ll begin to experience your mind making a shift. When you see others around you being productive, you’ll fall into the same habit. You were never productive before because your lazy friends didn’t allow it. It was “more cool” to be stagnant and useless.
Your environment can do wonders when overcoming your battle with resistance. Being around the right people will show you that you can make it happen. Ideas become reality when you’re around the right people.
Another way to stop resisting is to do the hard things. It’s not supposed to be easy. Whatever you need to improve upon, set aside some time to focus on it each day. Show yourself that you are worthy of becoming your ideal self that you created in your mind.
The world will judge you, people will point and laugh, you’ll be embarrassed, things will fall apart – everything that can go wrong, will. Don’t let fear and complacency make you resist the change. In order to grow, you must make adjustments. Nothing new will develop if you don’t make room for change.
It’s Up To You
Do you want your life to pass you by and have nothing to look back on? Are you willing to be a coward now, only to face regret in your old age?
Be adventurous and take the leap! You may fall flat on your face, but at least you’ll know what happened. If you keep going, you find that you won’t fall as much and you’ll have many exciting stories to tell.
This is what happens when we stop resisting. Life opens up and we encounter the full spectrum of who we can become. We tend to want a life that requires no effort or strife, but that’s what builds you – don’t let resistance beat you at your own life. Expect change (because it will happen) and challenge it whenever you encounter it.
When we wake up in the morning, most of us act on autopilot. We go through this routine that needs to be done and we simply go about our day, hoping it will turn out well.
If you want to have a good day, you have to make it come about. Hoping and wishing will only take you so far. There are things you can do to ensure that you win your day, before it unfolds.
Think it. Go over in your mind how you want your day to go. See your meeting being successful. Envision drinking water and having a healthy lunch. Anticipate having a productive day, where you create solutions and add value to the team. By seeing it in your mind first, you will already have a head start on how things will go. Visualizing helps to guide the outcome in your favor.
Follow through. After you ‘see’ how great your day is going to be, do it. This is where the challenge lies. You can think of having an awesome day all you want, but you have to put effort behind it. It won’t happen magically. Once you think it, you must follow up with the type of actions that will create that awesome day for you. It starts in the mind, but you have to follow through and act it out to get those results.
Give compliments and be supportive of others around you. When you have a pleasant energy about you, it spreads to others. In order to make your day great, the people around you have to be in the same boat. Although you’re unable to change anyone, you can direct the process by giving them a compliment or by helping them get over a challenge. Not only does it make you feel good, it also encourages them to have a good attitude, which leads to being more productive. It’s a win-win for everyone!
As you can see, there are many ways you can improve the outcome of your day. Allowing your day to float along without any effort from you, can lead to stressful and ineffective reactions.
Take control of your day before it begins. This allows you to have a positive start towards a positive day. As you go throughout your day, remember, you are in control of how you respond.
Winning your day starts with you. By thinking it out, following through and being supportive, you can have your best day, everyday!
Throughout life, we all have felt a sense of failing. Something didn’t work out the way we wanted or an outside source (such as a test) had labeled us a failure.
The old way of thinking of failing is self-limiting. Society has taught us that failing is bad, that we aren’t worthy of giving it another try and there’s no way out.
There are very few of us that had someone to teach us the real meaning of failing. It’s actually the opposite of what most people think it is. Failing isn’t something to be ashamed of – actually, it’s a push in the right direction towards success.
What Happens When You Fail?
Failing has such a bad reputation, that we have developed a fear of failure. This leads to judgment and overall, not following through with the task that you “failed” at.
People may ridicule you for not achieving a goal that you were working on. They may call you names or tell others that you aren’t as great as you think you are. All of sudden, it feels like the world has lost complete faith in you.
This is what leads to fear of failure. It has such a negative meaning, that we try our best to avoid it. No one wants to be ridiculed if they don’t have to. Your self-esteem is crushed and you refuse to put yourself through such torment.
So, what do you do? In short, suck it up and keep it moving. There are people in this world who are waiting for you to do something wrong, just so they can have something to talk about. The same people aren’t doing anything productive to move their lives forward, so they try to bring you down to their unproductive level.
You don’t have to allow this to affect you.
How Does Learning Happen?
Do you think people learn things the very first time they read or study it? Absolutely not. It takes more than one shot to become a high achiever.
Failing is the new learning – how else does learning occur? The only difference is, is that people who accomplish their task gave it one more chance. That’s the difference between a winner and a loser.
Learning isn’t a perfect process. Mistakes, obstacles and setbacks are promised to happen, but the only way you will make your way to becoming successful is by making constant progress. That means failing and being resilient on a consistent basis.
Failing teaches you what not to do. It gives you a new and improved strategy to implement the next time. Overall, it points you in the direction you should go.
That’s what learning is – doing things until you accomplish them. The only way you can do this is through actively failing.
What Does It Mean?
Words are powerful. We never realize how much they impact the outcome of our lives until we take a closer look at what we’re actually saying.
Any word that is synonymous with failing, isn’t an insult. Setbacks, obstacles, mistakes – all of those words give you feedback for you to create a better plan, in order to move forward.
These are constructive words – there’s nothing offensive about them. It only seems that way when you’ve been conditioned to see it that way. Don’t allow other people to control you with their interpretation of negative words.
Failing is the new path to learning. Every outstanding person has used failing to pave the road to success. You have what it takes to fail your way to success. If it doesn’t work, review what happened and give it another shot – not only will you grow, but you might mess around enough times and accomplish your goals!
Some things can be an inconvenience, like an unexpected bill or a flat tire. You might complain, get over it and you move on. Every once in a while, we come across a global inconvenience that puts the world on the edge of panic. We know what’s going on, but it feels weird because we don’t know exactly how to react or respond.
With the coronavirus, or COVID-19, its not that easy – we can’t be angry, complain, make a payment and go on with our lives. What started out as a distraction in another land, has turned into a disruption in our own homes.
When Panic Sets In
When we’re not familiar with an obstacle, our first reaction is to panic. There’s no plan, we’ve never seen it happen before and we have no idea where things are going.
We simply panic because we don’t know what to do. When everyone around you is just as afraid as you are, it causes confusion and anxiety. People begin to make up false information and conspiracies. Like the coronavirus, panic is contagious and spreads easily.
You see it when you go grocery shopping and everyone is filling their carts with tons of items and when you turn on the news and it’s plastered all over the television. It’s hard to ignore, so most of us join in, because if everyone else is panicking, something must really be wrong and we don’t want to be the oddball.
That’s how panic works. We see other people stockpiling groceries, so we do it too because we don’t want to be left without. The news keeps spewing statistics that may be close to true, so we allow it to put a halt on our daily lives.
When panic sets in, it causes us to not think for ourselves. We go with the crowd and panic along with them. Yes, the situation needs to be handled, but inviting panic into the equation doesn’t help you or the people around you.
Have A Panic Plan
How can you plan for the impossible? Is there a way to manage your life when life-altering events occur?
When things happen that you aren’t used to, remain calm and think. There’s no need for you to join the panic club and spazz out with everyone else.
Things may be different now – you may have to work from home, practice social distancing or quarantine yourself. These are actions that we’re not used to doing on a regular basis. It can be a scary time, but you still have control over how you respond in these types of situations.
Keep some sort of routine. Things are being done differently now, but that doesn’t mean to stop living your life. You still have goals to reach and obstacles to overcome. New challenges may present themselves during this time, but you want to practice being productive, as opposed to sitting in fear.
Even if you should become ill, you don’t want to just sit there, panic and be sick. You want to do what’s necessary to become healthy again. Taking charge and being worry-free is the first step.
Even though things are changing, stay consistent with your underlying goals. Don’t start making excuses, just because the virus is here. Keep practicing your public speaking, keep up with your diet, keep working on your business, etc. Whatever habits you had before, keep doing them and improving.
One of the most important keys to success is how well you can adapt to change.
Stay In Control
Although things are changing around us, we still have power over our productivity. There may be a global pandemic going on around us, but before you panic along with everyone else, think it through and see what you’re able to do.
Watch just enough news to get information and do your own research – when you have the knowledge, you can plan and respond, accordingly. Don’t watch it all day and allow it to feed your fear of what’s going on. That’s when it becomes worthless and you become paralyzed with panic.
Use your energy to focus on becoming well or doing something worthwhile. Keep or create your routine. Maintaining a sense of normalcy will save time and stress.
When you don’t know what to do, it’s best to do what you know. Don’t sit and panic – keep up your habits and continue moving forward, doing the best you can do.
Being present isn’t something that comes easy. It takes practice and mindfulness to achieve an organic state of awareness.
Of course, if it was easy, everyone would do it and the world would be a bit better. How can you begin to become more present and self-aware in your life?
Anxiety And Worry
Anxiety and worry are two of the biggest stressors in people’s lives today. No one knows what will happen tomorrow, or even how they will handle today.
How many times have you been in a situation where you’re doing something, but you’re not fully focused because your mind is somewhere else? Or, you’re listening to a friend and you begin to worry about their problems as if they were your own?
One way you can control your anxiety is to prepare as much as possible. You may not know what will happen in the future, but there are some things you can be ready for. Things like paying bills on time, keeping an umbrella in the car or having an emergency fund – all of these can help curb your self-imposed stress.
Another way to avoid anxiety and worry is to be present and find a solution. Worrying won’t make anything better – focus on what’s in front of you and how you can solve it, now. Some things aren’t in our power to personally manage, but yet, we still take it on as if it’s our responsibility. Either identify a result, or simply, let it go.
Fear
What makes people fearful? One of the biggest factors is being judged by others. Everyone wants to look good in front of other people, so we put emphasis on how we look and what we do. We do this to gain other people’s approval and to be accepted.
This is the wrong way to think. You don’t want to fit in with other people, you want to be yourself. When you are your authentic self, the right people will come to you. Being fake and trying to make others like you will only build a false sense of security – it’s important not to do this to yourself.
Find your presence when you feel the need to be validated by someone else. Think of what you’re doing in that moment – is this something you want to do or is this something you think someone else would want you to do?
You should always aim to please yourself before you please others. Living your life by someone else’s standards won’t allow you to thrive. Everyone has a unique gift to offer the world, but you must let go of that fear and be present enough in your own life to realize it.
Regret
Eventually, fear leads to regret because you were so scared to do that thing, you didn’t do it – now, you regret it.
Being sorry that you didn’t do what you wanted to do is like holding yourself hostage. No one is making you do anything, but for some reason, you choose not to do it anyway (possibly due to fear).
Don’t let self-doubt stop you in your tracks. We tend to box ourselves in the older we get and we don’t do what we want to do because we’re “adults” now and we lose our curiosity for life. We allow our responsibilities to become distractions (like bills and kids) and it takes over our lives. Before you know it, life has passed us by.
Take the time to be present, even when you’re an adult. Bills and kids don’t have to stop you from being present – be present with your kids. Pay your bills on time so you can afford the luxury of being present, instead of worrying. See the cycle?
Be Present Today And Always
Just about everything leads back to being present. If you want to become the best version of yourself, becoming self-aware is a great start.
Anxiety, fear and regret (among other things) all hold us back in one way or another. By being present, not only do you acknowledge that the only time is now (the present), you also begin to recognize the daily improvement within yourself.
Go ahead and give it a try – whenever you begin to feel overwhelmed by your thoughts, situations or other people, bring yourself to the present. Focus on what’s in front of you and what you can do in that moment. Worrying won’t make it better, fear won’t make it happen and regret won’t offer you another opportunity.
Life is lived in the present. Be where your feet are, today.
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