You don’t see it. It seems like all this work isn’t making anything happen. You keep working and creating, but nothing’s changed. That’s the mess in your progress.
Please, don’t give up. Success doesn’t happen after you put forth two days worth of effort. Keep in mind, you are building. While you are building, you are (believe it or not) making progress.
What Brings Success?
Making progress looks like this:
starting from scratch
having ideas
doing what works
it didn’t work
figuring out what went wrong
starting over
different ideas
do it again
repeat
It may look like a big mess to you, but it’s called progress.
The Success Formula
There’s not a one-minute formula that makes you succeed every time, at everything. You fail your way to success – that’s the actual progress. Very rarely, has anyone done everything correctly the very first time and was a success. It just doesn’t happen.
Don’t be afraid to fail. Failing is learning what didn’t work, so you won’t do it again. When you fail, you’re not wasting time, you’re working on making it better. Anybody else would have stopped after the fifth attempt, but you kept going and creating and figuring the little things out. That’s what leads to success.
Imagine if we could be a success after the first attempt at everything. Success wouldn’t be success, because everybody would be successful. There would be no value in it. Everyone would be successfully average.
Do the work and see the results.
Turn The Process Into Progress
Everyone sees the results, but no one sees the process. The progress is in the process – that’s where all the blood, sweat and tears happened. That’s where late nights and early mornings happened. That’s where your mind kept going, after your body was tired. That’s where, “I can’t do this” turns into “I got this.”
Other people will talk you out of it. Don’t join them and talk yourself out of it, too. It’s not that it’s never going to work – you’re just not finished, yet. That’s it. Keep going.
Have faith in yourself and know that you are capable of achieving success. The mess in the middle is a way of pushing you towards your greatness. Work through it. Success is just on the other side and you’ll be happy you did.
Most people stand on the sidelines all of their lives, while they watch others accomplish their goals. Being afraid to own your life is not a place where you want to be stuck. Watching as a spectator has it’s advantages, but you shouldn’t be a spectator all of your life.
On the other hand, being a player also has it’s advantages. If you take consistent action and responsibility for your goal, you’ll win the game, and much more in the end.
Competition is good. It can be fun to watch other people compete towards a common goal, especially in sports. There’s nothing like cheering for a winning team.
The Spectator
As a spectator, you don’t have to experience what the players go through. You simply watch with excitement and relax as they attempt to outplay the other team and carry themselves to victory.
Spectators get to laugh, be angry, eat hot dogs and nachos, shout what’s on their minds to the players – it’s a very comfortable position to be in. There’s no expectation from anyone and you get to do what you want while watching the competition.
Being on the sidelines is a comfortable place to be. It’s easy to sit back and watch while someone else is doing all of the work. Wanting to win when you’re not putting in the work is as simple as it comes. It’s nice to be a spectator, but life shouldn’t stop there.
Sometimes, you wish you were out there playing, because you think you can do better than the players. This may be true, but in the end, you’re only a spectator. You come to witness the best players in the game.
The Players
The players are the ones who put in non-stop effort and daily habits to become the best at their sport. No one wants to perform poorly in front of a crowd of millions, so they practice and train constantly. We all want to be the best.
As a player, you will sacrifice time with family and friends. If you want to gain a competitive advantage, you will have to spend time by preparing on the field, watching game tapes and other things in order to produce a win for your fans and the team.
Not only do you have to have personal discipline in order to be the best, you also have to deal with your team mate’s attitude. Some are easy to work with and some are not – everyone is different. Everyone has to figure out a way to work together as a team, seamlessly.
On game day, you’re expected to do one thing: win. No one cares about the argument you had with your friend right before the game or the fact that you may not be feeling your best. You’re expected to be confident, show up and fight until you win.
You’ve been practicing for this one performance for months. If you don’t, it will definitely show in your performance. Even if you prepared beyond your ability and lose, some fans will hurl insults at you as if you are without emotion.
Are You A Spectator Or A Player?
It’s easy to sit on the sidelines of life. Anyone can point out the mistakes and see what should’ve been done from a safe distance. You can make heartless comments or sell your tickets if you don’t feel like going.
When you have no goal or some level of commitment to get you to the next level, you can complain, but at the same time, it’s in your control. You don’t have to sit on the sidelines and be a spectator. There are many other ways you can participate in the sport of life and win.
The players know they can get hurt, but they take a chance. They know they can lose, but they continue to do their best. They know their fans will make outrageous comments, but they ignore it and keep moving forward. They are aware of the personal sacrifices, but they see the bigger picture and follow through, anyway.
Spectators don’t have to experience any of what the players do. The people who take a chance on winning or losing, being disciplined and focused, putting in the necessary work in order to come out on top – those are the ones who succeed in life. They aren’t afraid of what others will say about them, nor will they quit if they fail.
Do you want to be a spectator or a player in life? The choice is yours.
Starting over sounds like the end. “Why me? What did I do to deserve this?” These are the types of emotional questions you ask yourself when things go left in your life. Nothing seems to go your way and it feels like there’s no way out.
Starting over may feel like a waste of time, but what if we could use it to our advantage? How can we turn this around? Is it possible to create another opportunity for yourself?
Starting Over Is Overwhelming
You may have been laid off from a job, gotten a divorce or even lost yourself through a set of events. We expect life to go as planned, but when things are going good, it sneaks up on us and turns everything upside down.
Whatever misfortune has happened, it feels like a nightmare that never ends. All of your thoughts are rushing in your head, trying to figure out how to get back on track without losing even more. You become a mental mess.
Time isn’t moving fast enough. It’s overwhelming and stressful. Anxiety kicks in and takes over your body. You immediately begin to think the worst because you were doing so well. What do you do, now?
Begin Starting Over As Soon As Possible
After you’ve had a mental and physical break down, take a moment to actually create a plan. Something has to go, but it won’t go until you push it.
Even if this whole thing wasn’t your fault, the responsibility of moving forward belongs to you. The only way you will make progress is if you get up and move on.
Don’t stay stuck in the victim role. At some point, you must decide to take your life back and lead it to where you want it to go. This is your opportunity to make changes and guide yourself to where you really want to be. At this point, the only way is up.
Get up. Move forward, even if you have to take baby steps. Doing something is better than doing nothing. You owe it to yourself to see where your potential will take you. Change your thoughts from “why me,’ to “why not me?”
Life Is For The Taking
Get your mind back to thinking constructive thoughts. This is your story and you have the power to write the next chapter and turn it into an award-winning piece of work.
Allowing things outside of your control to manipulate how you operate is self-sabotage. How can you expect greatness if you don’t give direction to your own goals? Letting life happen on it’s own is not the answer. You must make the plan and work it.
Empower yourself. Strengthen your mindset and get around encouraging people. Read and listen to positive books and speeches. Use your resources to start over and turn your life around.
You Must Save Yourself
It may seem like a long road is ahead of you, but you must accept what it is and get started. You can wallow in disbelief or you can fight for the life you deserve.
Give yourself time to grow and make adjustments. The time will pass – the question is will you use it wisely and make it count, or will you sit in self-pity and watch it pass you by?
Find that job you’ve always wanted, be the person you want to attract or get out of your own way and be who you are. Find that magnificence in you and walk into it. Life may have happened to you, but by moving forward one step at a time, you can make it happen your way.
The fear of judgment is one of the biggest fears that people have today. Any other form of negativity is acceptable, but when someone judges you, it’s a defeated feeling.
How does this fear develop? Is it something you can unlearn? Can you make yourself immune to these kinds of stubborn critiques?
The Fear of Being Judged
Maybe this type of fear began in school. You had to do a presentation in front of the class and the teacher would grade you on how well you did.
This is enough to make most people nervous. When someone is watching you and will be giving an opinionated assessment on what you’re doing, it can cause a little anxiety.
It’s good to be aware of how others perceive you, but when you take it too seriously, it becomes a hindrance. Other people’s opinion becomes your standard because you are constantly trying to appeal to their thoughts.
Also, when other people insult your ideas, it makes you second guess yourself. You start wondering what if they’re right or you’re not good enough to make your idea happen. Most of it is out of jealousy because you are elevating your life and they haven’t moved an inch. That’s the only way they can hold you back and sometimes, we allow it to stop us from starting.
What others think (or say) about you is not who you are. It is not the end of the world if someone has a negative view of you. People may create a vision in their minds of who they think you are, but it’s not necessarily true – it’s just an opinion.
Unlearn That Feeling
The best way to get over the fear of judgment is to not care at all. It can be difficult to do (because we’ve all been taught to please others to a degree), but it’s crucial to your growth and your life’s success.
No one else is you and no one can be you. That should be motivating in itself! You’ve created yourself up to this point and you should know who you are. If someone makes a judgment about you, it shouldn’t make you stop in your tracks. Your goals are your number one priority, not what someone says to insult you.
If someone says something untrue about you, ignore it. Don’t give away your energy so easily. People will say things to get under your skin or simply out of jealousy. If you know this, why let it affect you?
Unlearn this thing where you have to please everyone and be who they want you to be. It’s a false assumption. Trust yourself enough to weed out the bad voices and the people who say those negative things. They judge you because they are insecure. They feel bad, therefore, they want someone else to feel bad, also.
By knowing yourself, you can unlearn the habit of taking any kind of judgment to heart.
No Judging
Since you know how it feels to be judged in a negative way, you should act accordingly. Never assume or judge anyone else, whether you know them or not. Everyone is different and should be given the opportunity to create their own lives as they see fit.
Not judging others gives everyone a chance to grow and expand their mindset. The thought of not following through with a task or a goal, just because someone thinks you can’t do it, is ridiculous. Don’t live the rest of your life fitting into someone else’s box that they designed for you.
You only have one life. Live it to your fullest potential and until you make your dreams come true. No one else can do it for you. Take the initiative, act on your plan and fulfill your destiny. You have one shot.
There are 3 negative thought patterns that are certain to happen, when you are on the journey to self-improvement. No matter how hard you try to focus and stay on your path, they’ll pop up, just to keep you from advancing to the next level.
If you know what these patterns are, it’s easier to recognize them when they appear. Therefore, you can manage them, accordingly.
Thought Patterns To Break
You can’t change the past. The only time you should look in the past is to see how far you’ve come. The fact that you’ve overcome those obstacles is something to be very proud of. Hindsight is 20/20 – we all can look back and see how we could have done things better, but don’t get stuck there. Thinking about how things would’ve turned out different if you had finished college or married the nerd and not the bad boy, doesn’t help you right now. It’s impossible to change that. The only thing you can do now is move on and make better decisions that your future self will thank you for.
It’s not over until you quit. You are not a loser if you encounter a challenge. These things will happen and in order to breakthrough, you need to know how to handle them effectively. You only fail when you quit. How many times have we seen the scenario of the last second, game-winning shot? The impossible can happen when you don’t give up. Even if it doesn’t turn out in your favor, take it as a lesson and apply it the next time around. It’s not over until you say it’s over. Keep finding solutions and moving forward.
Other people’s judgment of you isn’t who you are. People who are jealous will show their insecurities by putting them on you. If they think they’re ugly, they’ll call you ugly. If they think they can’t succeed, they’ll call you a failure. Allowing that negativity to penetrate your mind will cause harm. When you hear someone being judgmental, discard it immediately. Don’t let it float around in your head because, eventually, you’ll start to believe it. Take compliments, but reject judgment.
What Do You Think, Literally?
Be protective of your mental state. The 3 things mentioned above can easily hijack the progress of your goal, so be aware.
Your environment is very important. Create the habit of having positive thoughts and people around you. It’s hard to remain positive, but it’s easy to slip into being negative.
Always read and listen to motivational platforms (blogs, podcast, videos, etc). Make your immediate surroundings full of encouragement and inspiration. Take care of your mindset to the point where it won’t be disturbed by anything distracting.
You may not be in control of what is around you at all times, but you are in control of your mind and how you use it. Your thoughts will create your future, so defend it to the fullest.
Making progress is intentional work in motion. Some people never think about progress because it takes too long. The process is actually what produces the path to your goal. When you become successful, it’s all because of those tiny steps of progress.
Progress In Motion
When you think about making progress, you think of big strides and enormous steps that get you to your desired outcome instantly. It doesn’t exactly happen that way, but it will eventually drive you to the outcome you want.
Making progress takes time. In reality, we are always constantly moving towards something, whether we acknowledge it or not. You could be taking action towards becoming more healthy, or you could be drifting along with life, hoping it’ll just happen on it’s own.
Either way, you’re moving. If you’re watching time pass, why not be intentional and create a plan that will point you in the direction you want to go?
Begin working your plan. Overthinking is nothing more than procrastination. You’re giving yourself an excuse to sit there and be inactive. Take the first step and the next one will reveal itself along the way. That’s how progress works!
Be consistent. When you don’t see immediate results from your actions, it doesn’t mean that it’s not working – that’s when your progress is in motion. Keep doing the work and you will get closer and closer to your outcome.
Distractions Along The Way
As you know, there are always people who try to stop you from achieving your goals. It could be something personal, or it could be out of insecurity. The distraction from someone you’re close to can be bad enough to make you want to stop.
Personal relationships can be tough. Some people think you’re supposed to spend all of your extra time with them, as opposed to working on your plan. Unless they have something to do on their own, they will prove to be the biggest distraction that can easily get out of control.
Another distraction is the one you place on yourself. You know the ones – junk food, social media, the news – anything you can turn off, but you choose not to at the moment. The little things that steal your attention and slow you down do not contribute to the bigger picture.
It draws you in and you say to yourself, “I’ll only scroll for 10 minutes.” Before you know it, all of those “shock and awe” headlines that you have to read right now, have turned those innocent ten minutes into an hour of guilt. That’s time you will never get back and it didn’t help you reach your target.
Staying away from personal distractions can be the most difficult. You can handle them by setting up boundaries and creating a reward system. Simple things like placing your phone in another room or putting it on airplane mode can help. Or, you can reward yourself with social media or Netflix after you’ve done your task, but you must be aware. Don’t let your reward turn into an all day thing.
Make Progress Work For You
Understand that you are always in perpetual, constant progress. Success is not attainable unless you work towards it with full intent. Watching, wishing and waiting will have you in the same position this time, next year.
Yes, progress seems like it takes forever, but it shows that you are consciously taking action towards your goal. You are putting in the effort to live the life you dream about. It may take years, but it’s your journey and you won’t get there without taking the first steps.
Progress prepares you for what’s to come in the future. It teaches you how to be strategic with your actions. Once you’ve learned how to follow through more efficiently and achieve your task, you move on to another.
Distractions can throw you off your path, but you can control it. Hold yourself accountable and own the decisions you make. Choose progress over instant gratification. It’s those small decisions that will turn your progress into success.
Things seem to be going along just fine, and then, out of nowhere – you encounter some type of adversity. Life happens and screws up your plans. You’re left wondering what went wrong, among other confusing questions.
As you can see, life doesn’t go according to your plan. There’s no doubt that it stings, but at the same time, you don’t have to sit there and take it. This is simply a new starting point, perhaps even a rebirth, of your life.
Life Happens
When things occur unexpectedly, your first reaction is emotional. Thoughts of guilt and self-pity flood your mind, as you become more and more discouraged.
It doesn’t help that your friends and family are supporting those negative feelings. They pat you on the back and tell you everything will be fine. Some will provide an escape for you – “I knew your boss didn’t like you – that car saw you coming and they still hit you…” They think it’s helping, but actually, it relieves you of the responsibility of having a more positive outlook.
Yes – responsibility. “But it wasn’t my fault…” you say. This may be true, but the responsibility of fixing it and moving on, is yours. No one else can do this for you, so you have to hold yourself accountable, even if you did nothing wrong. You can wait for someone to save you (which some people do), but then, you’d be neglecting the skills you’re about to build to become a better person.
Get away from the chatter and allow yourself some time to think things through. You know how messed up it is – you don’t need others to confirm that for you. After your emotions settle, the next step is to figure out what you’re going to do to gain some ground.
Being overly emotional never helps, even though it’s the first thing most people do. All the whimpering and whining only drags you deeper into a downward spiral of darkness. It doesn’t make the situation any better, but it makes you feel comfortable.
We think of how horrible it was and who to blame because it didn’t work out. It’s easy to point the finger at someone else. How often do we think of it as an opportunity? Not only can you start over the way you want to, but you will strengthen your skills and stretch your abilities as you go.
Facing Adversity
How do you pull through, when it seems everything is working against you? One thing you don’t want to do is work against yourself. When your emotions take over, that’s when you start to play ‘victim’.
That’s not what we’re going to do. History shows that humans are creative and resilient during times of challenge. There are plenty of examples of people who hit rock bottom, only to rise and touch the sky.
It’s been proven – if you’re human, you can do this.
First, go ahead and let your emotions out. Cry, curse, scream – do whatever it is you need to do. It’s not good to hold all of that unworthy, negative energy inside your body. It only leads to more anxiety and stress, which you certainly don’t need right now.
Here’s where it gets tricky – don’t stay in your emotions. Have your emotions, but don’t live there. This is where people get stuck, because they don’t want to face any more adversity than they have to. They stay in those ‘victim’ thoughts, only to never rebound.
Second, make a list of things you need to do in order to move forward and out of your slump. The day can easily get away from you when you don’t have it written down. Checking things off of your list gives you a sense of accomplishment and a new positive perspective on what you are capable of doing.
Third, start moving. Studies show that movement and exercise improves your mood and brain activity. It also helps tremendously with your stress levels. Once you start moving, your brain will turn on and begin generating new ideas. You’ll start to actively think, instead of being stuck in your feelings.
Fourth, take care of your responsibilities. Don’t let everything fall apart, just because of a hiccup in your life. You’re still in control and your obligations don’t stop, so continue to handle them.
The World Still Turns
You can either lay down and take it, or you can stand up and take it. It won’t be the last time you experience adversity, so it’s best to know what to do now, so you can be stronger and handle it better the next time. Be flexible, so you can make your way out of any position, good or bad.
Get used to change. The foundation of your life is still the same, it’s just that the way you’re used to going about it has shifted. There are still things that need to get done and goals that need to be reached. This is the time to build yourself into exactly who you want to be, according to your own personal blueprint.
We all fall. Everyone else thinks they know how to solve your challenges, but you have to trust yourself. Remember that this is your fight and you’re going to win. Listening to suggestions may help, but the final decision is yours.
Adversity forces you to recognize the challenge and adjust to a new way of thinking. You will either forge a new path and become successful, or you’ll sit in the same place (still wondering why), for years to come.
You’re not a tree. Get up and grow to the next level of your life.
We spend our lives waiting on things to happen at the right time. Although obstacles occur at the worst possible moment, there are some things we can take responsibility for, so we can improve certain situations as we move forward.
People have their own challenges that they are fighting through. Waiting for help or for someone to save you is counterproductive. You can either waste time and wait, or spend it wisely and make your own progress.
Procrastination Is Hesitation
Procrastination presents itself in many different forms. Just about anything negative comes from, or leads to procrastination.
“I’ll do it Monday – I’m too tired – it’s raining…” are examples of the excuses we give ourselves to put things off. Some may be valid reasons, but for the most part, we’re justifying our laziness by creating convenient explanations, so we won’t have to follow through.
Making excuses makes us feel better – we don’t have to think any further or take any specific action at that moment. The excuse allows you to procrastinate and put off opportunities that may have been on the horizon.
There are times where you’re certainly unable to do something at that very moment – this a reason, more so than an excuse. When you have a reason, it’s not a challenge to you because you know you’ll do it. An excuse is wiping something off of your plate, just to move on to something else or to prevent taking action due to fear.
Instead of putting it out of your mind and depending on your brain to remind you later (later never comes), set a deadline. “I’ll start Monday” can happen, but only if you begin to prepare to begin on that day. Don’t lie to yourself – make a decent effort to follow through and start.
Don’t Wait, Make It Happen
Waiting for something to happen is completely out of your control. Who are you waiting for? What if it never happens?
Other people may or may not have your best interest at heart, but that doesn’t matter. You are responsible for what you can control and that’s the bottom line.
Depending on the system (or anyone else) to come through for you is unreliable. Take people’s concern for you with a grain of salt. Don’t be disappointed if they aren’t there for you – it’s not their responsibility.
Taking control of your habits allows you to direct the outcome of your life. If you eat a balanced diet, you’re moving towards better health. Other factors may be involved, but you are pointing yourself in the right direction to get the best results. Waiting on a new diet fad won’t help you now.
Even through all of the mistakes, obstacles and setbacks, you can always go back to the drawing board and enhance your strategy. If there’s a possibility for you to make it better, do it. Giving up or moving forward is your choice.
It’s better to be prepared than it is to wait on someone or something to help you. When going through certain situations, think 5 steps ahead. Prepare for what might happen, so you can be ready to take care of it. As they say, you must stay ready, so you won’t have to get ready.
Be proactive with your life. Make that phone call, walk that lap, save ten dollars – it doesn’t matter what it is. Build the habit, put action towards it and get the ball rolling. If you’re unable to control the circumstances, do your best and move on to what you can control. It’s better to go ahead and start, than it is to procrastinate by waiting on someone else.
Success Waits For No One
Some people wait on the right time and place for magic to happen in their lives. This doesn’t work because they’ll be waiting forever. Do what you can and stop making excuses to start.
Own your future. Whatever happens, take responsibility for it and move on with a positive plan. Success doesn’t just happen to anybody – you have to make it happen. Give it a push, adjust it along the way and the opportunities will come. When they do, you’ll be ready because you didn’t wait.
Goals are ideas and thoughts that we plan and set out to achieve. They can be small goals or massive goals, according to what you are doing. There are goals for the day and there are five year goals (or even longer). It’s good to have goals, because you can keep track of how well you’re doing with your work.
Long Term Goals
Long term goals scare people. The first thing they think is, “That’s too far ahead – I don’t even know what I’ll be doing that far in advance!” Well, that’s why you make long term goals, so you can have a map or a blueprint of where you want to go and where you want to be.
If you don’t make a plan, you’ll end up with a lot of other people – no where. The earlier you understand this, the better. Make weekly goals, monthly goals, yearly goals, five year goals and ten year goals. Look at your long term goals, as well as your short term goals, on a daily basis. This practice will help keep you on track, because it is very easy to get caught up in something else and forget what you were trying to do in the first place.
Go ahead and do those year long goals. If you know what you want to do and how you envision your life, write it down and make a plan – build a blueprint.
Plan Out Your Life
Blueprints show what you want something to look like, from beginning to end. If it’s not working, you can adjust it along the way. Writing it down can be scary, too, because you may fear that you won’t complete it. Writing it down may make you feel some kind of way, like you’re holding yourself accountable. Yes, that’s what responsible, successful people do. If you want to be successful, writing down your plans can give you a blueprint on how you could get there.
You may not even know where to begin with your plan, but start either from the beginning or the end. Some people start from the end and write their plans backwards. Some start from the beginning and plan to the end. There is no correct way, but the good thing is, you can revise as you go along. It’s not written in stone.
What ever you do, do it big! Someone once said that if you shoot for the moon, you’ll hit the stars. Don’t say, “I want to be a ballet dancer.” Instead, say, “I want to be a ballet dancer in New York, performing on Broadway, in the next fifteen years.” This is more specific and a pretty big expectation, but it’s definitely possible if you work towards it. Expect more from yourself.
Your Dream Life Is Possible
If you apply pressure (work on it everyday), you’ll get that diamond (your dream). Drink some water, write your plan, and put in the work to get there. Don’t stop at the small goals, but allow it to build into your yearly goals. The smaller goals will come together to contribute to the bigger goals, and your overall blueprint.
Ultimately, you should have a plan on what you want to do. Having a one, five, or ten year blueprint can seem overwhelming, but once you break it down, it’s not as hard as it looks.
When someone asks you what do you do in your spare time or what are you working on, you have your plan to refer to. It doesn’t look so good when someone asks this question and you answer with a dumbfounded look or an “I don’t know.”
Always know what you are doing with your life. Know what you want your life to look like in the long term. Build a blueprint, and build your ideal life.
#BeGoalden
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