Month: May 2018

This is your life. Do not live out the life your parents have envisioned for you. Do what makes you happy.

There are kids graduating from high school or college and they’re moving on to the next phase of their life. Your parents mean well, but do not feel forced into living the life they have planned for you.

This is probably the first big decision you will have to make, because your parents have been telling you what to do for most of your life. It’s hard for them to stop telling you what to do and it’s even more challenging for you to step into your independence and make your own decisions.

It may disappoint them and cause a little drama when you do this, but be strong. The last thing you want is to regret what you did not do. You will be so unhappy and miserable, because you didn’t follow your dream – you followed someone else’s dream.

Parents (or others) think they know what you should do when it comes to making these types of decisions. Amy wants to be an artist, but her mother has been pushing her towards being a lawyer. Amy could be an awesome lawyer, but her life probably won’t be as fulfilling, because it’s not what she wanted to do.

Your parents want the best for you and they care about how your life turns out. It can only turn out well if you’re happy. This means you must do what makes you happy, not what makes mommy and/or daddy happy. There will be challenges along the way, but it happens. It doesn’t mean you were wrong. It’s part of the process of becoming a responsible adult. Take care of the challenge and continue on.

It’s surprising how many kids are in college, majoring in careers because that’s what their mother or father did. “My grandfather was an accountant, my father is an accountant, so I’m majoring in accounting.” Is this what you really want to do, or are you just lazily following the pattern?

There have been some instances where a child actually likes what the family career is and they don’t mind following the pattern. That’s fine. On the other hand, if you’re not so thrilled about it, you can do what you like to do. It may cause backlash, but this is your happiness. Claim your independence. They will get over it.

Some parents want to live their lives through their children. Even as a parent, they must understand that your life is your own. You have choices to consider. This is your life, your adventure. No one else can live it the way you can. In the end, you will become the successful and happy adult you were meant to be.

Everyday, we have the chance to wake up and be our best. We don’t have to ask permission or be forced into an average mindset – we wake up as a blank slate. It’s the start of a new day and we get to choose how we go into it.

Exactly, what choice do we have? I can choose to start my day with good intentions. I can choose to start my day being sad. If something happened the night before that really angered me, I may choose to start the day mad because I remembered what happened the night before.

Once we choose how to start the day, it determines our attitude. To wake up being grateful is the perfect way to begin. Think of all the things you’re thankful for and you’ll immediately start the day with happiness.

On the other hand, if you had a bad day yesterday, try not to let it follow you into the next day. If you got a traffic ticket the day before, your attitude may not be the best. Don’t allow that attitude to carry over into the rest of the day or the following day.

A bad attitude has the ability to creep into your mind and live there. Every thought that comes into your head will be greeted with a negative vibe. You’ve already lost before you even begin to have a great personal thought.

Things happen. Your attitude is the measuring stick of your present feelings. If you’re having a great day, you have a great attitude. If you’re having a terrible day, you have a terrible attitude. Have an even, positive attitude no matter what happens. Sometimes we forget, but we do have that choice.

First, have awesome thoughts when you wake up in the morning. You will have a magnificent day – be positive about what may happen. Starting off with an angry attitude sets you up for a negative day. You may bring down a good mood in every room you walk into. Don’t be that person who sucks the energy out of a room because of a funky attitude.

Second, don’t allow a bad attitude to stick with you. Yes, it can be hard to get through the day after something has brought you down, but it doesn’t have to ruin your entire day. If someone passes away, it’s understandable that you’re sad – that’s something that will take a while to work through.

If someone is driving slow in front of you, it may be annoying, but you can adjust your attitude once the situation is over. Don’t carry it into work, lunch and into family time. It’s ridiculous because it is robbing you of an otherwise, potentially great day. Your family will see you being grumpy and it takes away from them (and it’s not even their fault!)

Also, having a terrible attitude may prevent an opportunity from coming your way. I’ve heard of many situations where someone was about to be offered an opportunity, but because of their attitude, it didn’t happen. You’ll never know when an opportunity may present itself, so always have a gracious and positive demeanor.

Another way is to know that each step you take, you’re about to walk into a different situation that deserves a fair shot. You wouldn’t want to see someone, say ‘hello’ and they just snarl at you for no particular reason. Even if you are about to do something you don’t like to do (for example, washing dishes), do it with a smile. It has to get done, so you may as well do it with a smile and make it as happy of a moment as you can.

Having a bad attitude doesn’t help anyone. If you can help it, why not have an awesome attitude whenever you can? It beats being down and giving off bad vibes. It is in your control to be the best you can be. If you don’t have to have to be a grump, don’t be a grump. Your day will be much better for making that impactful, small decision.

One of the things people do is make things harder than they have to be. You can ask someone if they want a red hat or a blue hat and most people will go into deep thought. This not only causes anxiety, it makes you indecisive. Let’s continue with the red hat, blue hat example.

When asked to make a choice between the red or blue hat, some people will think about fashion. Does it match what I have on? What kind of material is it? Is it a church hat or an actual cap? Understandably, you want to make a good fashion choice. The thing is, this takes up mental energy and time.

What would happen if you didn’t make the right fashion choice? You would still have a hat to keep your head warm, as opposed to having a cold head. You would still keep your eyes shielded from the sun, as opposed to having the sun in your eyes. Or, you could just take it off and not wear it, if that makes you feel better. Everyone will still love you.

If you ask the same question to someone else, they may give their answer right away – all they want is a hat, no matter what color it is. The simplicity of the question doesn’t take them 10 minutes to decide. They know the value of their time, or, they simply don’t care about such little things. They would rather put that mental energy into deciding something more meaningful.

I’m not saying that every question should be a simple answer. There will be times where you actually need to put some thinking power into your decision. You want to save your mental energy for those times. Deciding between fries and tater tots is not a decision you want to spend time making. Coming up with a permanent strategy for the entire world to have access to clean water, that’s where you want to use your mind power.

In the grand scheme of things, it’s pretty small. There are more important tasks to conquer with your mind, than to entertain a simple ‘this or that’ question. Don’t make things harder than they are. Everyone makes mistakes. The important thing is to learn from your mistake and to keep going. So many people make the most simplest thing, seem so hard, and it’s not. Choose and move.

Don’t turn a yes or no, left or right, or an up or down question into a life-making decision. It’s not. In most cases, a simple question deserves a simple answer. You won’t knock the world off of it’s axis if you choose the wrong answer. If you do, just figure out how to get it back on track and move on.

People hang out in the street everyday. People watch television for hours. People complain about bills. People shout and argue with each other over simple things. People have a ‘whatever’ attitude. People wait for things to happen. This is normal for some people.

It’s not normal at all. Being average is not normal. Having no vision is not normal. Going where the wind blows is not normal. Being irresponsible is not normal. Being without a goal or dream is not normal. Giving up is not normal.

Just because ‘everyone’ is doing it, does not make it normal. When you do positive things that improve you, that’s normal. When you get up in the morning and map out your plan to have a successful day, that’s normal. When you choose being productive over being lazy, that’s normal. When you take responsibility for what happens, that’s normal. When you adapt, adjust and keep moving, that’s normal. When you don’t settle for less than your best, that’s normal.

In some parts, society has become so average, that it is being perceived as the ‘new’ normal. Success doesn’t happen at the average level. That’s why it is average. Everyone is comfortable with blending in and no one wants to stick out.

Being comfortable is dangerous. When you’re comfortable, you have no intentions on getting better. You go with the flow of what everyone else is doing. It’s satisfying, because you don’t bring attention to yourself by doing better. You may even come across some inspiration that moves you, but you dare not rock the boat, because everyone will see you. That is no way to live YOUR life.

There is no growth in being normal. Successful people aren’t normal, they’re extraordinary (EXTRA -ordinary). Everyone wants to be successful, but there’s work involved. There are risks to take. You have to do more than what average people do. The fear is there, but you are in control. It’s your choice.

Your normal takes on challenges. Your normal may fall, but it gets back up. Your normal is relentless. Your normal will make it happen. Your normal is persistent and consistent. Your normal offers no excuses. Your normal bypasses judgment. Your normal doesn’t let anything stop it. Your normal may even rest, but it won’t quit. Your normal is determined and disciplined.

That is your normal. #BeGoalden

Ideas can hit you at any moment. It’s important to remember what your thoughts were, especially if you need them. When you’re young, you can remember thoughts from years ago. When you get older, you can barely remember what you thought two minutes ago. It’s not as bad as it sounds, but it’s one of those things that happen, the older you become.

When you’re young, it seems like it’ll last forever. You don’t think about getting older, because everything is going fine. Your memory is good, you can eat just about anything without putting on a pound, and your body moves the way it should.

When you become older, you’ll walk into another room and say, “What did I come in here for?” It happens to the best of us. It’s nothing to be ashamed about, just some simple adjustments that need to be made.

One thing that really helps is writing things down. As long as I can remember, my father always had a pen and pad in his shirt pocket. He wrote down EVERYTHING. And he put a date on it. My siblings and I used to laugh, but now, I find myself carrying a pen and pad around, to write things down. You know what? It works!

I have many ideas that come to me at various moments (I’m an awesome thinker). I normally could remember what I thought about earlier in the afternoon, but it’s become somewhat of a struggle. Now, I just accept it and I’ve learned to write it down, so I can move on with my day. There have been times where I had an idea and I thought I could remember (because it was the greatest idea anyone ever had), only to let myself down when it’s time to remember what that idea was. Don’t let yourself down – write it down.

The hardest part is actually convincing yourself to buy a pen and pad, just so you can write things down. It seems nerdy at first, until you look back to see what you wrote. Then, you’ll thank yourself a million times for writing it down. Problem solved.

So, whatever you think, put to ink. It beats walking around, looking confused. All you have to do is write it down. The first time you walk into a room and forget why you’re there, don’t beat yourself up. It happens. Get a pen and pad and write it down.

You’ll thank me when you’re older.

Everyone used to pretend when they were kids. We’d pretend to be cops, robbers, a princess, superhero – anything that we thought we could be, we could become it in our minds. It wasn’t something we had to stop and think about; we just announced it to everyone and started to become what we wanted to be.

For that moment, you were who you imagined you could be. There was never a thought of, “Could I really be a great superhero?” or “Would I be a pretty princess?” No, there was none of that. Everyone said who they were going to be and ACTION! Everyone fell into their respective roles and played them successfully.

What happened? It seems that everyone was so sure of themselves as kids, but when we grow older and we can actually be what we pretended to be as kids, it’s a challenge.

As we get older, we experience things. Instead of going on what we know to be true, we listen to other people and their experiences. We give priority to what other people think over ourselves and what we think.

If we start to pretend again, maybe we won’t have an issue with our confidence, among other things. Pretend you are successful. Pretend you do have the cure. Pretend you can beat the odds. Whatever it is, just pretend you can. It all starts in the mind.

As kids, we didn’t think of the worse case scenario. We usually would think of how to go about doing what we wanted to do, with a bright outlook. As adults, we’ve allowed our minds to be poisoned by, “…but what if?” We must take back our minds and make everything possible again.

Great minds think of the good that could happen and the bad that could happen. Then, they move forward. A stagnant mind thinks of the good that could happen and the bad that could happen. Then, they do nothing, just because of the thought of something bad could possibly happen.

Have a great mind. Move forward, even if something bad could happen. There’s always a possibility that something bad won’t happen, but you won’t know until you do it. When something bad does happen, you’ve already thought out a solution to get over it. Have a great mind.

Don’t scare yourself out of your own life. It’s yours to design the way you see it. You deserve to be among millionaires, even if you just hit one million yesterday. You belong in the same show with other artists, even if you were discovered last week. When we achieve a goal, some of us think it’s something we don’t deserve or we can’t measure up to those that have already made it. You accomplished that goal, so you belong! If it helps, just PRETEND that you do belong and go with it!

Take advantage of the awesome feeling of success. Do more things and help more people. That’s what you do when you’ve reached the top. It’s not over. Set another goal to become even better. Keep pretending that you can be more and do magnificent things. When something bad happens, think through it and be greater.

Keep pretending. Because you do deserve it and you do belong.

Why do we care about what people think? We think everyone is looking at us, waiting to see how we’re going to mess up. Most of us are wired to care what other people think at an early age. It becomes an issue when we begin to care too much.

Yes, your family and friends think you are important and they care. They care enough to let you know when you don’t look right, or when you’re singing out of key. Although these are the people in your life that do matter, your life is still yours and you can make the decision not to care. If they want you to stop abusing drugs, that’s caring. If they don’t like the color shirt you’re wearing, that’s an opinion. You don’t have to care.

Wondering about what others will say, causes anxiety. That’s just extra unnecessary stress you don’t need in your life. If you’re okay with whatever it is, well, everyone else is going to have to be okay with it, too. Don’t overthink it. The world will go on.

Caring about every little thing is a distraction, but it’s a distraction that you enable. If you don’t care about it, it’s not a distraction. It’s only a distraction when you allow it to take over your mind in a negative way. If you decide not to care, you can move on and everyone will be fine.

Get out of your head – stop caring about what others will think or say. Be strong enough to take what they say and throw it away. When someone says something nice, it doesn’t bother you. When someone makes a comment about how ugly your shoes are, you go through an emotional rollercoaster. Don’t do that to yourself. As long as you like it, who cares?

Don’t allow other people’s judgments to bother you. Everyone has an opinion, but you don’t have to care. That’s the magic of it. YOU DON’T HAVE TO CARE. One person’s simple thought about you should not send you into a deep depression. Continue to do what you do – it’s for you, not for them. If you tried to impress everyone, your entire life would be a waste. Don’t live your life trying to please others – it’s impossible.

If you want to paint landscape pictures on tiny rocks, do it! If it’s your heart’s desire, don’t let anyone stop you. Some people are just jealous because they wish they could paint landscape pictures on tiny rocks, but they’re too busy thinking about what others will say.

Free yourself and don’t care. As long as you’re not hurting anyone, continue to explore your life and figure out what YOU like.