Do you take on other people’s problems? Is your life really overwhelming, or do you make it overwhelming? There’s a fine line between accepting your own challenges and accepting everyone else’s.
Your friend tells you what happened and they want your advice. At work, your co-worker confides in you about issues at home. Everyday, you get a dose of other people’s problems.
Are other people’s problems really your mountains to climb? Do you carry the baggage with you, even though it’s not yours?
O.P.P. (Other People’s Problems)
Everyone has issues. We’re all attempting to navigate this life the best we can. How can you be effective at finding a solution for yourself, when you’re bombarded with other people’s problems?
There is a certain point where you need to be selfish with your advice. You must cut yourself off from being involved in their drama. It’s nice to offer a listening ear, but don’t get emotionally attached to the entire situation.
Showing concern is the polite thing to do. It’s interesting and you want to know how it goes and what happened. This can go on and on – it’s like a soap opera happening in real time. At times, it can sound more exciting than your own life.
Other people’s problems can easily become a hobby of yours. People like to come to you all of the time because you offer great guidance. Don’t let their situations consume your mind space. It’s easy to become too curious – their problems become your problems and their emotions become your emotions.
It’s not rude to break away for your own sanity. Once you’re done talking and providing a listening ear, leave it there. Go on about your life and do what you’re going to do. The next time you see them, be considerate, but don’t take it with you.
Focus On What’s In Front Of You
What are you doing now? Are you fully present with focus, or is your mind distracted by other floating thoughts?
That’s what happens when you take on the mental weight of your friend’s issues. We tend to think about others before we think of ourselves. It makes us feel like we’re helping them and they need us.
The issues that you’re dealing with in front of you need a solution. When you allow your mind to drift, you’re not being fair to yourself. Put other people’s problems (that don’t belong to you) to the side and concentrate on you.
Don’t carry confusion with you from one place to another. Pay attention to the present moment and give it your all. You’re wasting time and energy by trying to solve mysteries that don’t belong to you.
The Side Effects Of O.P.P.
Making yourself accessible to others can be emotionally draining. The feelings that go into these situations can literally wear you down. Limit your availability to the drama in other people’s lives.
If you let it, it will become your issue and others will look to you to create a solution for them, as well. It’s no longer their challenge to overcome. You must draw the line and give them space to handle it themselves. Again, it’s not your mountain to climb.
Learn to step away. Leave the baggage where you found it. Move on with your intentions and be fully present with what you’re facing. Don’t defeat yourself, by trying to help everyone else win.
Everyone has to be responsible for their own issues. You can help every now and then, but don’t become the problem-solver for them. Be a good listener, offer a helpful word and leave it there. You can be supportive of others without taking on their challenges. Bring your focus back to being effective and forward moving with your own life.