Tag: mindset

#TBT: How To Find The Opportunity In Fear

How To Find The Opportunity In Fear

It sounds impossible, but you can find the opportunity in fear. Depending on your mindset, fear can either hold you back or take you to another level.

We’ve been trained to see fear and hurt as something to avoid. It’s something ‘bad’ that we want to get away from and we don’t ever want to experience it.

Have you ever considered that maybe your fear is pushing you in the right direction? Let’s examine how we normally react to fear.

Blaming And Complaining

Fear gets the best of our emotions. As soon as something makes us fearful, our feelings kick in and take over.

For some of us, that means we automatically become defensive. We create different excuses as to why we haven’t done something. The excuses are portrayed through blaming and complaining.

We say things like, “I couldn’t make the speech because they didn’t give me the right microphone…” or, “The lights were so bright, I couldn’t see the audience.” That’s fear consuming your mind and your attitude.

Those may be somewhat legitimate reasons (to an extent), but they’re still excuses. Sometimes, you will have to get things done, whether you are comfortable or not. Everything is not guaranteed to happen to your personal satisfaction. The end goal is to make it happen, the best way you can.

Practicing Fear

Some of us actually practice the fear within us. When you have pity parties and feel sorry for yourself, that’s being supporting of a negative emotion.

We say things like, “They said I’m no good at singing. I never was and I guess I never will be…”, or “I flunked the test twice already – I guess it’s not meant for me.” You’re indirectly inviting negative energy to take hold of your life.

If it’s something you really want to overcome, don’t feel bad because it didn’t happen the first time around. As long as you breathe, you can make another attempt.

There will always be people who are critical of whatever you’re doing. Never allow what someone else thinks, to interfere with what you’re doing. It’s their insecurity, not yours, so don’t claim it.

The Pity Party

The pity party is the ultimate setback. Some of us were raised to think and be fearful of things we’ve failed at. We’ve been taught to accept that we’re not ‘good enough’ and that’s not okay.

We’re used to reacting to obstacles by putting ourselves down. “Why me? What did I do to deserve this?” Then, you begin playing all of your failures from the past, over and over in your mind.

This is not the ONLY way to respond to fear. Yes, it hurts when challenging situations happen, but have a mindset of power and opportunity. Stop practicing fear by having a “woe is me” attitude and thinking that you’ll never succeed.

Be Proactive

All of our lives, we’ve allowed fear to steal valuable moments from us. We’re so used to believing in a negative, emotional power, that it literally takes up our most important asset – time.

Reclaim your time and take advantage of your fear. Be productive by turning it into an opportunity to become better. Make it a personal project that you must successfully complete!

Instead of letting fear control you, take control of it. See the benefits of what fear has to offer and use it in your favor. On the other side of fear is improvement. See through it, then, see it through.

#BeGoalden

Failing Is A Sure Way To Learn

Failing Is A Sure Way To Learn

People often take failing as a negative thing. Whenever you attempt to do something and it doesn’t work out, there’s no need to quit – the failure is guiding you in the right direction.

Yes, there are some instances where it’s time to hang it up and do something else, but for the most part, people are afraid. Your perspective has a lot to do with how you think of failing.

The Feeling of Failing

What happens to some of us when we fail on the first or second time we do something? We stop. There’s no data collected, no statistics to consider or any additional information to dive into. It didn’t work, so we stop.

This is what holds most people back. If you knew that you were supposed to fail, maybe it wouldn’t hurt so bad when it happens. Somewhere in life, we begin to equate things not working out with failing and progress is halted.

We’ve been taught to feel embarrassed when we fail. Others say, “I told you so,” or “I knew it wouldn’t work – that was a waste of time“. These comments come from people who never attempt to do anything, so they tell you that you’re unable to do it, too.

All of this negativity can be so consuming to the point where you actually believe it. You have more naysayers than you have supporters.

The most important thing to remember is that failing is nothing more than learning and correcting your mistakes along the way. Failing is where growth happens.

Failing Is Learning

As Thomas Edison once said, he didn’t fail, he just found 10,000 ways that didn’t work. This is how confident we should be in the face of potential defeat.

It can be overwhelming when you’ve worked so hard on a project and it doesn’t work out the way you planned. Who wouldn’t feel bummed out about that? Shift your thinking – you know what doens’t work, so try another way until it does.

When pursuing your goals, know that 99% of the time, it won’t go right the very first try. This is a time to learn and become more aware of how things really should work.

Failing should force you to do more research and find better ways to put it all together – gather the data, the stats and the additional information. You should feel relentless in the pursuit of your results. It should feel like you’re that much closer to achieving your goal.

Edison kept going with his inventions and he found what worked. He basically failed his way to success. Don’t allow your perspective to be warped by what others say and think. Failing is a sure way to learning and becoming successful.

Bet On Yourself

In essence, failing is learning. The entire process shows you the ins and outs of what should be done and how. You’re a lot smarter in the end, than you were when you first started. Develop the habit of resilience and keep going.

Your goals may take one day, one month or one year to accomplish, but never give up. You are closer to your achievement than you think. Take this opportunity to believe and bet on yourself.

You’re way ahead of the person who didn’t start at all and even those who started, but gave up. The journey to success isn’t an easy one, but as long as you keep learning through failing, you will find your goal in the end.

#BeGoalden

#TBT: Happiness Is Your Responsibility

#TBT: Happiness Is Your Responsibility

Your happiness is in your control. Often times, we allow outside circumstances to direct how we feel throughout the day. We have the power to feel the way we want to feel, but sometimes, we give up that responsibility to someone else.

Being happy and having the right attitude takes conscious effort. You can easily go through life thinking of unfortunate things that have happened in the past and reliving it everyday, but you also have the ability to decide to be positive and move forward.

Find Your Happiness

The reason why so many of us aren’t happy is because we are waiting on someone, or some thing, to make us happy. “I’ll be happy when I’m married – I’ll be happy when I lose 10 pounds – I’ll be happy when I finish school.” Relying on an outside source to make you feel good will fail every time.

When you wake up in the morning, give yourself permission to feel joy. Yesterday may not have been a great day, but you don’t have to invite that feeling into the next day, or the day after that. Even if you need to address the same challenge today, go into it with a positive mindset, knowing you will overcome it.

Find happiness on your own. Make the decision that this day will be productive and fulfilling, because you will make it that way. If you made the attempt and it doesn’t work out, leave it where it is – don’t carry it over into the next day. Keep a good attitude, start again and work through it with confidence.

A Good Attitude Is Rewarding

Possessing a positive attitude is more beneficial than having a bad attitude. How many times have you received poor customer service, because that person had a negative vibe?

Everyone won’t be chipper and delightful all of the time, but by having a good attitude, you remain in control of your feelings. Just because someone else isn’t having such a good day, doesn’t mean that you should give in and mirror their emotions.

Having a positive attitude lights up a room – you never know who it could affect. People with bad attitudes expect others to participate in their negativity, but you could always walk away or change the direction of the conversation.

Who wants to be around a person who’s always gloomy? Keep your attitude at a positive level and don’t let others steal your happiness.

Distractions And Discipline

Distractions are out there, fighting for your attention. It could be in the form of watching the news, people gossiping, or chasing that new, shiny object.

Whatever the situation is, don’t let your attitude follow the various distractions you encounter everyday. There are pleasant distractions that can make your day, but when it takes away your concentration, it can lead down a different road.

Distractions are a form of control. Whenever you fall for a distraction, it has power over your demeanor. There’s no way to avoid all distractions, but you still have control over how you receive and react to them.

Practice being disciplined with your attitude. When something grabs your attention, your reaction is normally to go with it. Letting distractions control your feelings can bring about anxiety and stress. Instead, acknowledge it, have your feelings about it (if necessary) and get back to your happiness. There’s no need to ruin a good day, over a small disturbance.

Happiness Takes Practice

Having a positive attitude should be common practice in your life. Don’t let other people take away the joy you want to keep.

It can be a daily battle, but it becomes easier the more you do it. By making the effort and choosing to have a brighter perspective, you open yourself up to opportunities and handle challenges more effectively.

This doesn’t mean that the bad distractions will go away, it just means that you’re in a better position to manage them – again, you have the power. When you choose to be happy, instead of allowing some outside force to hijack your emotions, you become more positive and it catches on to other people around you.

We all have a choice – are we going to guide the day, or let the day guide us?

Always keep your happiness, a good attitude and a bright perspective.

#BeGoalden

#TBT: How To Turn Procrastination Into Progress

#TBT: How To Turn Procrastination Into Progress

Procrastination occurs in many ways. Some people put things off at the suggestion of others, while some are stuck being comfortable.

With the internet, most things have become easier to access. Today, you don’t need to wait for anything to happen. Delaying any type of progress is a choice that you consciously make.

With that being said, how can you stop being hesitant? Is it possible to pull yourself out of that negative vortex? When is the best time to go from procrastination to progress?

The Procrastination Trap

Change can be as difficult as you make it. Sometimes, we tend to make things harder than they really are, especially if it’s outside of our confort zone.

Instant gratification is a procrastination trap. You’re so used to having things happen instantly, you begin to think that everything should happen right now.

When you come across something that takes a little more time to come together, you become anxious. Then, you decide to leave it alone, because it’s not happening fast enough.

This leads to you procrastinating on many things, simply because it doesn’t happen right away. Realize that it takes time for some things to fall into place – all you have is time. Prepare yourself with patience and realize that everything doesn’t come about within a moment’s notice.

The Progressive Mindset

In order to make progress, it starts in your mind. Your mind is your first line of defense when it comes to obtaining information and processing it.

Your environment may be bad, your friends may be critical and your luck may not be going good, but you still have a choice. Don’t let the limitations around you affect your way of thinking.

When you think, think of positive things. Think about improving yourself, achieving that goal, having a good day, helping someone in need, or receiving good news. It may not turn out the way you think, but you learn to accept things the way they are and adjust, so you can make changes.

Progress happens when you’re able to shift your thinking and adapt to any outcome that may happen. Procrastination will hold you back from even making that first attempt, but a positive mindset will allow you to follow through and create a solution.

Procrastination Begins With Small Steps

Once you find a solution, you can begin to step into your life. As long as you don’t let procrastination stop you, you will eventually develop a productive habit.

When you get into the practice of actually starting, it’s not as hard as it seems. Begin with something small and easy to accomplish. This will have a snowball effect – the more you do it successfully, the better you can accommodate bigger tasks with confidence.

Taking small steps isn’t frightening. It’s small enough to begin, but big enough to get you going in the right direction, away from procrastination.

Outside factors can have an influence on how you move. Don’t let your environment intimidate you and don’t let small-minded people convince you to stay complacent. Starting small is better than not starting at all.

Beating Procrastination

Overcoming the habit of procrastination won’t be easy. It’s not something you can expect to happen within 24 hours. The best time to start is always NOW.

Like anything else, making progress will take time and effort to establish and maintain. There are many distractions working against you already, but as long as you don’t expect things to happen instantly, have the right mindset and take small steps, it’ll all come together.

Procrastination comes in many different forms, but you can handle it. With the right outlook, you can defeat the battle of putting things off and become more productive and dynamic with your goals.

#BeGoalden

#TBT: Are You A Worrier Or A Warrior?

Are You A Worrier Or A Warrior?

There’s obviously a difference between a worrier and a warrior – warriors are powerful and disciplined. Worriers are doubtful and full of fear. What separates a warrior from a worrier?

A worrier is what most people default to. They worry when they don’t know what else to do. It can be very stressful, but they’re the one who creates the stress.

On the other hand, a warrior is steadfast and strong. Warriors control the situation, not the other way around.

Worriers Are Common

Worriers are uneasy. When things go wrong, they don’t know what to do. They react to situations, as opposed to thoughtfully responding to them.

People who worry, react and make things worse. Instead of solving the problem, they add their own drama to it and magically place the focus on themselves.

Worriers create fear and doubt, naturally.

The only thing that a worrier does successfully, is waste time. They are not ready or prepared to handle tense circumstances. Everything is, “Oh, no!” and “What if (insert negative thought here)?”

Not only do worriers cause anxiety for themselves, they create an unsettling environment. It’s hard to change the energy from negative to positive, but it’s very easy to drag it from positive to negative. That’s what they do.

Worriers stop at no, but that’s where a warrior begins.

Signs of a Warrior

Warriors are people of strength, mentally and physically. No matter what happens, they will figure it out and make it work.

Unlike worriers, warriors bring peace to a situation. If they find themselves in a disturbing scenario, they have the ability to calm things down and develop a strategy to move forward.

Warriors turn their problems into challenges.

The best characteristic about a warrior is that they have discipline. They have the discipline to believe in themselves and to not make excuses. They have the discipline to feed their fears and starve their doubts.

Warriors can motivate and inspire the people around them. Others depend on them to lead and win in every situation. If they don’t win, they don’t accept defeat. They will find their fault, so they can do better next time around.

Being a warrior is a daily practice. It’s not something you’re lucky to be born with – it takes effort and constant development.

Today, being a worrier is common in our society. We have the option to be either one, but some of us don’t have the desire to be a warrior. We’d rather have someone else save us and hope things get better.

Making the impossible happen is what sets the warrior apart from the worrier. In the warrior’s mindset, wanting better leads to doing better.

You have a choice – will you be a worrier or a warrior?

#BeGoalden

Having Empathy Makes The World Better

Having Empathy Makes The World Better

Having empathy goes farther than getting temporary revenge, or becoming angry for the rest of the day. People will cut you off in traffic. Someone may have a hyper child in the doctor’s office. The cashier at the store was rude to you for no reason.

Are people doing these things to be mean? Is it up to you to bring it to their attention or call them out on it? Consider using empathy as a tool to keep calm and carry on.

What Is Empathy?

Empathy is the experience of the feelings, thoughts or attitudes of another person. Instead of having a bad attitude right back at the other person, you understand where they are coming from and possibly why they did what they did.

When someone cuts you off in traffic, are they doing it just because they can, or are they in a rush to the hospital? Normally, we think of other people as being rude and obnoxious – they want things their way and they don’t care who they hurt in the process.

Having empathy allows you to make room for understanding. There’s no doubt that some people are just rude and obnoxious, but not everyone. Some people have a very good reason for speeding or breaking down at work. It’s not always the case, but let’s be more considerate before we judge and react.

Empathy Is Better Than Bitterness

One day, I was in the store with my mom and sister, in the checkout line. There was a lady in the front of us, rudely talking to the cashier. “If you didn’t want to be here, you shouldn’t have came to work! Your attitude is unacceptable!”

As we approached the cashier, we could see that she looked a mess, crying and going through the motions of ringing up our items. She didn’t greet us or look at us. She didn’t even tell us our total for us to pay.

As a child, I felt bad for her because she was obviously hurting and the lady before us didn’t help the situation by creating a distraction for others to see. My mom payed for our things and as we were leaving the store, the supervisor apologized to us.

“I’m sorry about that – she’s had a rough morning. She found out that someone in her family passed away.” That explains it all.

The cashier wasn’t being impolite or disrespectful on purpose. People handle grief differently – maybe she wanted to work to take her mind off of the death in her family. The lady before us didn’t help the situation by mouthing off and being rude.

Be Mindful Of Others

Make an attempt to be empathetic before judging. Yes, there are some people out there who do things just to show off or because they feel like it, but there are others out there who are dealing with more than we know.

The same way you want others to be considerate and have empathy for you, have the same consideration and empathy for others. Again, it’s not always the case that people have a good reason for doing something out of the ordinary, but it gives you peace for yourself, as opposed to being angry for the rest of the day.

Don’t waste your good energy, when you don’t know the whole story. It’s easy to judge, but it’s hard to have empathy. Let’s be more human to each other. People look for attention in the wrong ways – sometimes, all they need is for someone to understand and listen.

Be the example and show the world what true empathy looks like.

#TBT: Learning To Self-Educate

Learning To Self-Educate

Once we graduate from school, most of us are glad to get out of the mundane, everyday cycle of sitting in a class, taking tests and doing homework.

Traditional school is the basis of your learning. It’s not perfect, but for the most part, it teaches you the fundamentals to get along in the world.

The path to education has changed the learning landscape now. Learning is no longer limited to a school building. Although this is the way we still provide education, it extends beyond that.

Learning For Yourself

The internet has changed the education game. Twenty years ago, you couldn’t go to school online or listen to an in-depth podcast on what you like to do. Sometimes, when you’re inside the change that’s happening in real time, it’s hard to realize the benefits around you.

It doesn’t take any effort to learn anything, today. Back then, you had to learn AT school or ON the job.

Today, you can learn anything from the internet. You can Google it, watch a YouTube video or listen to the podcast.

Somewhere in that little device, is the answer to your question.

You want to learn how to install a car engine? YouTube it. You want to repair your credit? Listen to a credit repair podcast. You need a little inspiration, motivation or you feel stuck? Go to the Goalden Lady website.

No matter what it is, the answer is accessible – it’s there and it’s free! Don’t limit yourself by being stubborn and doing it the old way. There are so many options and possibilities now, it’s ridiculous, but it’s ridiculously great!

Use The Advantage

If anything, the internet has made learning more interesting and fun. It’s beneficial to everyone, on all levels. The best thing we can do today is take advantage of it. Gone are the days where you have to call, sit and wait for someone’s help. Today, you can grow and make progress on your own.

Make a decision to open yourself up and take a chance at becoming better. Achieving your goals still takes hard work, discipline and focus on your part in order to see success. The path of action may not be easier, but having (and using) access to your resources gives you more of a head start.

Keep learning. Self-education is key. We are no longer confined to a ‘one way only’ system. You can do so much more with technology today. You have the power, literally, in your hands. Learn it and leverage it.

#BeGoalden

Focus On The Task, Avoid The Interruptions

Focus On The Task

Being able to focus in a world of ‘shiny objects’ is difficult to do these days. A ping here, a ding there – notifications have taken over our lives.

What if you could get back your focus and actually do what you really want to do? Distractions are convenient, but your focus must be intentional if you want to reach your goals.

Internet & Social Media

One thing you can do is turn off any notifications that you have on. There may be some that you need as a reminder, but for the most part, they are just a signal for your attention.

What happens as soon as you hear that chime? You stop what you’re doing and you put your focus on that thing. Whatever it is, it’s probably not that important, but you don’t want to miss anything. Everybody wants to be the first to get the breaking news.

Is it worth losing your focus over? What could be more important than working on your plan?

Like potato chips, you can’t eat just one. It snowballs into a full blown hour of scrolling social media and looking at celebrity gossip. This is what a pretty little sound does to your attention.

Discipline Your Focus

Secondly, you could simply build your discipline. You don’t have to look every time something happens. Distractions are all around us, but we choose to allow it to steal our concentration.

After your concentration is gone, it’s very hard to turn back and get on track. The best thing to do is to ignore it in the first place. Don’t take a peak, or even look for five minutes. Keep working away and finish what you started.

Practice staying in rhythm and locking in to what’s in front of you. The more you let a distraction interrupt your attention, the more you have to start over and build your momentum, again and again. Ultimately, nothing gets done.

Attention Seekers

Third, personal relationships can also deter your focus from your goals. People will demand your time and attention, just to make them feel good. Most times, they really don’t want much of anything or they just don’t have anything else to do. They simply want you to provide them with entertainment.

It’s okay to say no. Don’t be afraid to cut a conversation short if there’s something more important that you’d rather be doing. Wasting energy and focus leads to wasting time and we all know that you won’t get your time back.

Other times, people will cause drama to break your concentration in order to give them your attention. Some people actually crave attention and can’t live without it. It’s sad, but true. Don’t let that type of person become dependent upon you and take away your power.

Keep Your Focus In Check

When focusing, nothing should pull you away from your task. Make it a productive habit to ignore the distractions that fight for your attention. It’s hard to be successful when you have weak focus.

Turn off the notifications and practice the art of ignoring those pretty sounds. There’s no secret or trick to making it go away – just reinforce your mindset with discipline and you’ll be more productive!

#TBT: Be Grateful For The Little Things

#TBT: Be Grateful For The Little Things

Taking the time to be grateful for the simple things in our daily lives is something that we tend to overlook. Between work and distractions, it can be easy to forget.

By being mindful of the things you are grateful for, it lets you work from a place of sincerity. Instead of different things ticking you off, you allow it to pass, without it bothering you or disrupting your day.

5 Simple Things To Be Grateful For:

  1. Breathing – It may seem simple, but someone didn’t get to wake up today, or they didn’t make it through the entire day. There are even people who have a hard time breathing on their own and depend on machines to assist them. Be thankful for the natural act of breathing.
  2. Challenges – We normally call these ‘problems.’ Yes, you should be grateful for your challenges, as well. Challenges may be difficult, but they allow you to grow and give you confidence. If you can make it through a challenge, you can do anything.
  3. Thoughts – Your thoughts give you the ability to be creative and think on your own. You can come to your own conclusions and set your own standards. Your thoughts are the blueprint to your life. As Napoleon Hill said, “Whatever your mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve.”
  4. Family and Friends – You may not like some of your family, or you may be at odd with some of your friends, but no matter what kind of relationship you have, they had a part in shaping you. You picked up some good habits and some bad habits – you learned what to do and what not to do. Observing them helped you to become who you are.
  5. Freedom – Being free, you are able to do what you want to do. Unlike jail, you can wake up when you want to, go to work if you want to, or chase an opportunity whenever you feel like it. The choice is yours because you are free. There are some people in the world who are still being held captive against their will. Be grateful that you are free and have control over your own life.

Be Thankful For Life

We don’t know when our time is up, so make everyday count and be grateful for what you are able to do. Instead of putting things off for tomorrow (because tomorrow never comes), be productive and do them today.

Wherever your life takes you, be thankful for the experience. Life has a way of making us feel like we’re the only ones when terrible things happen. There is someone who has been through your experience and you’re never the only one who is going through that situation.

Even when things aren’t going great, continue to fight. It’s hard, but be grateful that you are operating from a place of strength and will come out more powerful on the other side. The hard times are what make us who we are.

Always remember to be grateful in the good and the bad times. It all comes together to create the perfect you in the end.

#BeGoalden