We never think to forgive when things go bad. Often times, our first instinct is to point the finger. We always bend towards the side of blame, in fear of being held wrongly accountable for whatever happened.
When things go wrong, no one wants to feel that pain or hold that burden. Handing it off to someone else gives us a temporary feeling of relief and comfort.
Instead of placing the fault on someone else (or yourself), try the opposite – forgive yourself and see it as an opportunity to grow.
Forgive Yourself And Others
This is a simple practice, but no one talks about it. Forgiving yourself is a key moment that allows you to grow. There’s no growth in avoiding responsibility.
Yes, we talk about taking responsibility, even when it’s not your fault. This is to move on, so you won’t be stuck and stagnant. Things happen, but someone has to have the courage to push things forward, even if the next step isn’t too clear.
Let’s take it beyond that – forgiving yourself. There are things that have happened in your life that you wish you could do differently. You blame yourself, but how do you move on from that?
Most people don’t move on – they keep replaying the “what-if” in their minds, trying to make it right. The guilt plays in a continuous loop, over and over in their heads and it begins to stifle their progress. What can you do?
You may not be able to change the past, but you can forgive yourself. At that time, you did the best you could do. The situation may not have even been your fault or in your control. There are a ton of factors that could play into you feeling sorry for yourself. If you can give energy to those type of thoughts, then you have the power to forgive.
Forgiveness is not only for others, it’s for you, too. We forgive those who did us wrong, because it gives us closure. Have you ever thought about giving yourself the same closure, so you can move on with your life? Let the emotions out, but instead of just dealing with it whenever it resurfaces, forgive yourself and let it go.
Growth Happens Here
Life is about growing. You deserve to take the next step, but you won’t be able to if you’re still carrying baggage from the past.
No matter how much it hurts or how bad it turned out, you can forgive yourself. Life can have a way of just happening, whether you are involved or not. The best way to deal with any kind of shame, remorse, guilt or disgrace is to forgive yourself.
Not only will it hopefully allow you to move forward with your life, but you will grow from it. Whether you are forgiving yourself or someone else, it lets you breathe. It frees you up from the negative emotions that have lived in your mental space for far too long.
Whether you do your best and fall short, or you experience life as it was given to you – forgive yourself. Beating yourself up won’t make you feel any better. Forgiveness grows you.
After you forgive yourself, smile. You’ve been holding yourself back because you feel you haven’t earned the right to live your best life. No matter how heavy life gets, we all deserve to live.