There’s an interview with Kobe Bryant, the retired NBA player, where he’s asked what drives him.
“When people boo me. I THRIVE on that.”
Let that sink in for a moment. People are actually rooting for him to fail, yet, he turns it into an advantage.
How many of us can do that?
Most People
Most people fold when they’re booed. Everyone doesn’t perform well under pressure, but as you can see, it can be used to your advantage.
For the most part, we’ve been taught to make others happy. When people are encouraging us, it makes us feel good inside — we have someone who cares enough to support us and their hope and belief means the world to us.
When we fail, we feel like losers — like we let the whole world down. It’s as if someone died and we can’t get another chance or make another attempt. It’s too late.
That’s how most people respond to failing. It has been reinforced through our environment at school and home. Failing is bad and you won’t get another shot at being your best.
This is exactly what makes people avoid trying anything in the first place. Have you ever seen someone who never tries anything new? No matter how simple it is, they always have an excuse as to why they won’t step out of their comfort zone.
It’s like they don’t want to learn new things, or get better. Maybe they just don’t know how, or it’s too embarrassing if it doesn’t work out in their favor.
We tend to think about the worst before we think about the best. We think the world will laugh at us forever and never forget. No one will let us move on because of that one time when you did your best, but you fell flat on your face.
Two Things To Remember When You Fail
One: it’s all in your head. People may laugh or make critical comments, but it’s not personal towards you. It may feel like it is, but it’s not. Before you know it, they’re laughing and criticizing someone else and moving on.
There are so many distractions coming through that device in the palm of your hand, don’t think of yourself as so lucky that someone gives you some critical attention and that they’re always focusing on you. Get over yourself. They’re on to the next thing and you should get out of your feelings and move on, as well. No one really cares.
Two: the definition of failing is ‘to learn how to do it better next time,’ not ‘it’s bad, you messed up, you’re so stupid, how could you make that mistake, everyone saw you…’
How else will we learn if we don’t make mistakes and fail? The world isn’t perfect, but since the beginning of time, we’ve failed and made some major improvements on a lot of things. You must shift your perspective.
How Can I Shift My Perspective?
Failing is learning. A mistake is feedback. A problem is a challenge. An obstacle is a step to the next level.
It’s all about how you process these ‘negative’ words. All of these particular words (and more that aren’t listed) are based on the foundation of your personal development.
It’s never too late. As long as you’re breathing, you can always improve and become better, everyday. That’s why you hear people say things like, “Fail forward.” Again: how else will you learn?
Some things you can learn by other people who’ve made mistakes (feedback). That’s good and all, but it shouldn’t intimidate you from continuing to take action.
How Will You Fail?
Back to the question: how will you fail in 2020?
Everyone is talking about their goals and how 2020 is going to be the year and so on. We say this every year and for some of us, nothing changes. We just like to be in the happy midst of making goals and resolutions, so we won’t feel left out.
Personally, I’m tired of hearing people say what they’re going to do and they haven’t even finished 2019, yet. Don’t get me wrong, it’s great that people have goals (after all, I am The GOALden Lady), but there needs to be physical action behind those verbal goals.
It happens every New Year — we announce all of the amazing things we’re going to do and then…crickets. Everyone is on to something else, as if your words don’t matter. This can really mess with your mindset and how you proceed to do things. Unless you follow up with some type of action, you’ll never have the determination to finish anything.
So, instead of asking, “What are your goals for 2020?”, ask, “How will you fail in 2020?” In other words, how will you learn in 2020? This should make you think beyond the basic response of, “I’m going to exercise/lose weight/start a side business.”
How will you learn? Are you going to exercise the same muscle groups everyday? Will you learn how to eat more nutrient dense foods? Are you going to research and file that business license?
When you make the decision to learn something, you must think through the process in detail. Thinking in detail does make your mind work a little harder, but there’s no easy way to get those results. It’s part of the productive process.
Back To Kobe
As you see, becoming successful will require you to be your own cheerleader. It will require you to shift your perspective, in order for things to work in your favor.
As a superstar, you’d think Kobe shines the most when everyone is rooting for him and encouraging him as he plays. That helps, but even in that clutch moment when it seems everyone is against him, he still comes out on top. If not, he learns what to do the next time he plays.
It’s as simple as that.
Do what you can control. Don’t just blurt out your goals for 2020, but give them some serious thought in how you will follow through and achieve them. No one has control over your mindset more than you. Decide what types of thoughts you want to accept and reject. Shift your perception of what goes on around you and make it work for you.
Remember: you never fail — you always learn.
#BeGoalden