defeat Archives - The Goalden Lady

#TBT: Living In Your Phone Leads To Defeat And Distraction

Living in your phone is the biggest distraction. It’s self-defeating because you know what you’re capable of, but your attention is on what others are doing.

Using electronic devices, such as your phone, is a form of voluntary distraction. Depending on what you use it for, it can have an effect on your daily perspective of life.

Shiny Object Syndrome

With social media, it can be easy to see how other people have success every second. They post pictures of cars and money and it makes you think that you can do it, too. You can, but are you willing to put in the work?

It’s easy to see success, but it’s not so easy to see and accept the work that goes behind it. No one wants to experience the journey, only the results. This is why you’re not accomplishing anything, because you keep hopping around from one thing to another, thinking it’ll make you rich like the other person.

That, in itself, is a distraction. You’re focused on how awesome it would be to have all the friends, cars and the money, but you never get started on the actual path. Even if you do start, if it’s not working, you’ll find something else that’s better (shiny object syndrome) and before you know it, you’ve boarded that train.

Seeing people’s results are distracting, but you must make the decision to follow your own path. Jumping from one thing to the next just because it made one person rich, does not guarantee your success. Stop trying to get rich quick and follow the path you want to take.

It’s Going To Take Time

Once you stop looking for how to get rich quick on social media, then you can begin thinking about what you really want to do.

Some people don’t know what they really like, because they’ve been too busy looking at what other people like. Take a break from others and focus on yourself.

Everything seems to happen instantly on social media, but that’s because no one is publishing their challenges and obstacles. If they did, they might not have such a big following. The process is boring, but the results are exciting.

Understand that when you figure out what you want to do, it’s going to take time. Your journey is unique to you. No one else can go through it for you.

This is why you should do something that you like, or at least, something you’re good at. There will be times when you want to give up, but if it’s something you have the desire to achieve, you’ll have no issues with sticking it out.

Free Your Mind

Take a digital detox day. Turn off your notifications on your phone and pay attention to what’s going on around you. Live outside of your phone for a while.

Having an entire day to yourself without being distracted and controlled by your phone, will allow you to think on a deeper level. You’ll actually start thinking for yourself, as opposed to having a device telling you what to think.

This is how you find what you want to do. Even if the internet is destroyed tomorrow, you would still find a way to achieve your goals.

When you go back to using your devices, instead of using them to see what others are doing, use it as a resource to enhance what you are doing. Social media isn’t all bad – it just depends on how you use it to create your own success.

#BeGoalden

#TBT: Are You A Worrier Or A Warrior?

There’s obviously a difference between a worrier and a warrior – warriors are powerful and disciplined. Worriers are doubtful and full of fear. What separates a warrior from a worrier?

A worrier is what most people default to. They worry when they don’t know what else to do. It can be very stressful, but they’re the one who creates the stress.

On the other hand, a warrior is steadfast and strong. Warriors control the situation, not the other way around.

Worriers Are Common

Worriers are uneasy. When things go wrong, they don’t know what to do. They react to situations, as opposed to thoughtfully responding to them.

People who worry, react and make things worse. Instead of solving the problem, they add their own drama to it and magically place the focus on themselves.

Worriers create fear and doubt, naturally.

The only thing that a worrier does successfully, is waste time. They are not ready or prepared to handle tense circumstances. Everything is, “Oh, no!” and “What if (insert negative thought here)?”

Not only do worriers cause anxiety for themselves, they create an unsettling environment. It’s hard to change the energy from negative to positive, but it’s very easy to drag it from positive to negative. That’s what they do.

Worriers stop at no, but that’s where a warrior begins.

Signs of a Warrior

Warriors are people of strength, mentally and physically. No matter what happens, they will figure it out and make it work.

Unlike worriers, warriors bring peace to a situation. If they find themselves in a disturbing scenario, they have the ability to calm things down and develop a strategy to move forward.

Warriors turn their problems into challenges.

The best characteristic about a warrior is that they have discipline. They have the discipline to believe in themselves and to not make excuses. They have the discipline to feed their fears and starve their doubts.

Warriors can motivate and inspire the people around them. Others depend on them to lead and win in every situation. If they don’t win, they don’t accept defeat. They will find their fault, so they can do better next time around.

Being a warrior is a daily practice. It’s not something you’re lucky to be born with – it takes effort and constant development.

Today, being a worrier is common in our society. We have the option to be either one, but some of us don’t have the desire to be a warrior. We’d rather have someone else save us and hope things get better.

Making the impossible happen is what sets the warrior apart from the worrier. In the warrior’s mindset, wanting better leads to doing better.

You have a choice – will you be a worrier or a warrior?

#BeGoalden

The Struggle Is Necessary

When you’re going through a hard time, it seems like everything is going down hill. You see no way for things to get better. There is no sign of hope, no matter where you turn.

The important thing is to keep going. Don’t give up on getting past the obstacle. It may last a week or a year, but you must see it through to the end. Close that chapter of your life so you can move on and continue to make progress.

It’s easier said than done, but surely you want to be on the other side, doing a victory dance. How you react to your struggle has an effect on how you handle things in your life, overall. There are three parts in a struggle where you can stop. Take a look and decide where you want to be:

The beginning. When a struggle first appears, it can be scary. Unless it’s something you’ve been through and you know how to deal with it, it can be difficult finding a solution. This is where some people stop. The struggle hasn’t even begun and they automatically make the assumption that they can’t do it – it’s too hard. This response promotes complacency. They’ll likely be stuck in the same rut for the rest of their lives.
The middle. Some people will give it a shot. They’ll start the process and gain a little momentum. When another challenge comes up, they’ll acknowledge it, but if nothing happens, they give up. When progress slows down, they slow down along with it. Nothing happens because they stopped putting in the effort to push forward. They never witness the breakthrough that was around the corner.
The end. Few people get to the end. Those that do, are rewarded greatly. There may have been countless struggles within the big struggle, but they stood their ground and kept moving forward. They may have even slowed down, but they never quit. These are the people who have their mind set on success. They can close that chapter in their book and take on the next necessary struggle in their journey.

Struggle happens to everyone – there’s no way around it, but to go through it. There are even struggles where you make the decision to cut your losses and move on to something else. Just because it’s a struggle doesn’t mean you have to go through it, but it has to be the struggle that relates to your end goal. There will be times where you’ll know, “This isn’t the right one.”

At the same time, whenever a struggle presents itself, don’t quit before you start. Just because it came at the wrong time doesn’t mean you instantly dismiss it. Know what struggle to take on. If it’s something that will get you closer to your goal, go for it. If it has nothing to do with what you’re dealing with, it’s okay to let it go.

Sometimes, people take on other people’s struggles as their own. It’s enough to handle your own challenges, let alone, taking on someone else’s. Know your struggle and let others handle theirs.

Your struggle is the way to your accomplishments.

That’s the path to your future. Every successful person has a story about how they got to where they are. If you avoid your struggle, you are ignoring the responsibility of creating the outcome of your life.

Don’t look at your struggle as an inconvenience. We see it as a bad thing, but once you master it, it gives you the ability to operate on a higher level in the future. It’s forcing you upward, towards your greatness. Success is the reward for overcoming potential defeat.

The struggle is necessary. Don’t be so comfortable or conceited that you refuse to go through it. Decide to move forward one step at a time. It’s always worth it in the end.

#BeGoalden

Destroying The Habit of Self-Defeat

We’ve all done it at some point in our lives – diminishing our ideas and beliefs before anyone else can.

It makes you think you’re escaping the ridicule of others before they have a chance to do it. The idea of, “If I don’t do it, I won’t get hurt,” only leads to a path of self-sabotage and defeat.

Self-defeat is when you deny yourself of potential positive outcomes. You think it won’t happen anyway, so why even try? You don’t want to experience losing or having hurt feelings, so you run away from opportunity and beat yourself up.

First, let’s get over the idea of getting your feelings hurt. It’s going to happen. We’ve all had hurt feelings before, but we find a way to get past it. It doesn’t stop after you get old, so start dealing with it now.

The only way to deal with it is to go through it. Learn to develop a habit of persistence. Every time an obstacle occurs, don’t allow it to hijack your plan – be resourceful, figure it out and act. The next time it happens, you’ll know how to handle it and move on.

Putting yourself down only makes you weak and less confident. You need all of the confidence you can build up. Having a healthy self-esteem prepares you for those moments of uncertainty.

Secondly, don’t be your own worst enemy. There are other people who already do that. They try to insult you because you’re at least making an effort. It’s their insecurities – they don’t have a strong mindset to do the things they really want to do, so they try to push that same belief onto you.

Don’t let those types of thoughts enter your mind, because then, you begin to sabotage your own beliefs about yourself. You become your own worst enemy. You’ve done the enemy’s job for them.

Don’t let the enemy win!

At this point, no one has to do it to you, because you’re doing it to yourself. You disrespect yourself by believing what they say. You’ve placed limits on your own abilities, just to escape what they might say or ‘think.’

Who cares what they say or what they think? The only person in this world that knows exactly what you can do, is you. It’s not your parents, your siblings, your girlfriend/boyfriend – no, only you really know how far you can go. It’s in your control.

Stop listening to what other people tell you and listen to yourself. Tell yourself how awesome and strong you are!

Now, believe it. Don’t allow anyone else to take over your mind and bend it to what they like. Don’t worry about disappointing others, worry about disappointing yourself.

It’s great if you have an encouraging environment of people who trust and believe in you, but it comes down to you believing when no one else is there. Your cheerleaders won’t always be with you everywhere you go, so you have to learn to be your own cheerleader and follow through.

Don’t stop your progress before it starts. If there’s a wide open, 2 mile road ahead of you, why would you stop after taking 2 steps? This is where your self-defeat comes in:

Who do you think you are?
You’ll only make it halfway…
It’s too far…
Am I getting a prize for this?

All kinds of things will pop into your mind, but you must learn to stretch yourself. So what, if no one is there to see you do it? Do it for yourself! Do it for the benefit of knowing! This is how you build yourself. Stopping yourself before you start only makes you like everyone else.

You’re not everyone else. Find what you are interested in and go after it. Learn it, do it, make mistakes, do it again, create a better plan, follow it, fall down, get back up…that’s how it works.

It’s not a waste of time. It’s called progress and progress leads to success. Don’t sabotage yourself into a life of mediocrity and regret. Let your light shine!

#BeGoalden