attention Archives - The Goalden Lady

#TBT: Focus On Minding Your Own Business

Distractions are all around us and that’s where our focus goes. It’s hard to avoid – it’s on your phone, TV and at work. Some businesses are even built around capturing your attention with these distractions.

When we get caught up scrolling through social media and mindlessly watching TV (among other things), we lose ourselves. We think about everything else, except what we’re doing with our own lives.

What Do You Focus On?

Everyone has an opinion. We participate in conversations and listen to what’s happening around us and we automatically have our own version of what we would do in that situation.

Our minds are constantly working. It’s important to have productive discussions on different things, but you don’t have to give a response to everything, all the time.

We’re so used to putting our two cents in about other people’s business that we forget our own. Our focus becomes what we think about what’s going on outside of us, as opposed to what’s going on within ourselves.

Energy Flows Where Attention Goes

This is why celebrities are rich – we constantly give our attention to them, as if it really matters, and they continue to become bigger distractions.

Imagine if you didn’t pay attention to what the president said today. What if you didn’t pay attention to the latest scandal? If you didn’t pay attention to that celebrity and what happened on their yacht?

These are all distractions. When you give away your concentration to things that don’t affect you and your life, it’s a distraction. Yes, it’s entertaining on some level, but some of us forget that we have a life of our own to design.

Giving your attention to something is the same as giving away your energy. It takes energy to focus. Don’t give your energy away to someone or something else to the point where you neglect yourself. Your life deserves to have your energy and attention. Besides, who else is crafting your life, but you?

Be Your Own Distraction

Instead of worrying about why your favorite football player is not starting in the game, focus on why you haven’t started in your own game.

When you direct your focus on something other than yourself, it takes away from your goals. Time is of the essence and we must take responsibility for our actions daily.

This won’t happen if you’re continuously glued to your device. Let your own life be your distraction. Focus on your plan, so you can become successful like the people you are being distracted by.

Concentrate On Your Own Business

If it’s not going to change anything in your life, leave it alone. What Kim Kardashian wore yesterday shouldn’t dominate your thoughts and conversation. She’s not helping you in any way.

You can like her all you want to, but don’t forget about your life, by being wrapped up in her life. She already has her millions – do you have yours?

You are in control of where your attention goes, how you think and your path to greatness. Be confident enough to live the life of your dreams and stop watching others live the life of their dreams. You are worthy of your own focus and success.

#BeGoalden

#TBT: Distractions That Work Against Your Attention

We all encounter distractions and nonsense on a daily basis. Whether it’s at work, on TV or on social media, it’s always there, fighting for our attention.

As a result, we’ve become immune to it. It’s doesn’t present a challenge to us any more because we’re so used to it. Becoming used to it has given us permission to just deal with it and to allow it into our minds.

Where Is Your Attention Going?

Here are a few ways you’re working against yourself and how you can work towards doing better.

You have your notifications on. When you’re working, your attention is supposed to be focused on what’s in front of you, 100%. As soon as you hear a ‘ting’, you look up to see who or what it’s about. Someone just posted another funny cat video. Now, your attention is broken and it will take a considerable amount of time to get it back. Turn off those notifications! It can wait until you’re done.
You overindulge yourself with information. Yes, it is critical to do research and collect information for what you’re doing, but sometimes, it can be too much. If you want to learn how to sew, do enough research to start. You don’t have to watch 50 videos and read 50 websites to take action. Look up the necessary information and go out and do it! Getting caught up in being a professional researcher only allows for procrastination and when you procrastinate, you don’t start!
You leave your mind open to anything. Your mindset is the most important asset you own. It’s good to have an open mind, but determine what is useful and what needs to go. Stop letting garbage enter your mind. It could be in the form of gossip, reality TV, social media, etc. Control what goes into your mind. If you plant good seeds, they will grow. If you plant bad seeds, they will also grow (weeds), but which would you prefer? It affects your attitude and your day when you consume garbage. Take in some motivational videos, get around good people and have meaningful conversations.
You hit snooze every morning. Just wake up. Why do we fight waking up every single morning? That’s the first struggle of many throughout the day. Whenever you hit the snooze button, you never get more sleep. Figure out whether an earlier bedtime would help, a cold shower or a cleaner diet, but whatever it is, see how you can avoid that daily battle. It sets the tone for the rest of the day and it allows for a stressful start. It’s easier said than done, but it shouldn’t be overlooked. Develop a better routine to greeting your day.

It’s Your Decision

Not only will these things cause you to work against yourself, they cause anxiety, as well. You can blame it on other factors, but you have power over what you do and how you do it. Even if you’re unable to control your environment, you can still make adjustments. Don’t just sit there and take it.

Fighting against yourself and being counterproductive is all on you. Decide what goes into your mind, decide to take action and decide to work fully focused. You can control all of these things. All it takes is a present mindset and intentional action. You can do it!

#BeGoalden

Claim The Life That’s Meant For You

Claim The Life You Were Meant To Live, Without The Pleasing

Have you ever thought about what type of life you really want to live? Is it something that you mindfully work towards everyday?

Somewhere in life, you started paying more attention to what others thought about you, than what you thought about yourself. Something (or someone) told you that it’s important to please and impress others and you took it too far.

These people are pleasers and there are three types: the People Pleaser, the Parent Pleaser and the Pity Pleaser.

The People Pleaser

Some people are people pleasers – they’re unable to function in life, unless they know they are in someone’s good graces. They’ve basically built their life at the convenience of others.

If you ask a people pleaser what they want, they’ll ask someone else before they give an answer. Everything is based upon going with the popular opinion, so they won’t be the odd one out. If someone puts them on the spot, they’d rather die than to give their own honest opinion.

Now, it’s blown into an unconscious habit where they’re constantly looking for opportunities to be someone’s friend, or to be that ‘like-able’ person. It’s important to be presentable and decent towards other people, but don’t cross the line by making it your life’s mission.

The Parent Pleaser

We all start off as parent pleasers. As children, we want the approval of our parents, so we strive for that acceptance because we like the positive feedback. At this moment in time, we don’t know any better because we’re growing little humans and we haven’t experienced much of the outside world.

The unfortunate thing is, some of us never grow out of being a parent pleaser. We constantly look for the chance to impress them by following the path they set out for us. The last thing we want to do is disappoint mom and dad.

This isn’t totally on the child – some parents take advantage of their children by constantly telling them what they should do, what they should wear or where they should go. They leave no room for the child to think independently.

As a teen growing into an adult, you should be able to think for yourself. Mom wants you to be a lawyer, but you want to be an artist. If mom doesn’t get her way, she’ll be mad, so you don’t do it. This can go on for the rest of your life and before you know it, your life has passed you by.

The Pity Pleaser

A pity pleaser is the person who has always experienced anything worse than you. If you tell them about the time you were hit by a truck, they’ll tell you about the time they were hit by two trucks. They look for someone to outdo to make them appear more interesting.

Pity pleasers have the unique ability to make everything all about them. No one else can have a better (or worse) story than they have. Every time someone is going through a challenging time, they’ve always gone through something even more challenging.

There’s no beating the pity pleaser, as they take pride in being better at being the worst. No one has ever had it more rough than them. They feel like they deserve your sorrow and pity support.

Claim Your Life

All of these people have built their lives around what others think of them. For some reason or another, they never leveled up to being personally accountable for their own thoughts and actions.

Everyone has to take responsibility, but the majority of the responsibility lies with you. Pleasers allow their lives to be led by other people. In the end, they’ve realized that they didn’t live their own lives and wished they had.

Think about what you want. It may hurt someone else’s feelings, but you must go out and claim your life! Do what’s best for you, without worrying about who thinks what. No one can live it better than you!

It’s not disrespectful to disagree with other’s opinions, but you are disrespecting yourself by not living and thinking to your own full potential. Claim the life that’s meant for you – live through the rights and wrongs, the successes and the mistakes because it is your unique journey.

You’ll never achieve living the life that someone else wants you to live. Give up being a pleaser and experience the world through your own thoughts and actions.

#BeGoalden

Focus On Minding Your Own Business

When we get caught up scrolling through social media and mindlessly watching TV (among other things), we lose ourselves. We think about everything else, except what we’re doing with our own lives.

What Do You Focus On?

Everyone has an opinion. We participate in conversations and listen to what’s happening around us and we automatically have our own version of what we would do in that situation.

Our minds are constantly working. It’s important to have productive discussions on different things, but you don’t have to give a response to everything, all the time.

Energy Flows Where Attention Goes

This is why celebrities are rich – we constantly give our attention to them, as if it really matters, and they continue to become bigger distractions.

Be Your Own Distraction

Instead of worrying about why your favorite football player is not starting in the game, focus on why you haven’t started in your own game.

When you direct your focus on something other than yourself, it takes away from your goals. Time is of the essence and we must take responsibility for our actions daily.

This won’t happen if you’re continuously glued to your device. Let your own life be your distraction. Focus on your plan, so you can become successful like the people you are being distracted by.

Concentrate On Your Own Business

If it’s not going to change anything in your life, leave it alone. What Kim Kardashian wore yesterday shouldn’t dominate your thoughts and conversation. She’s not helping you in any way.

You can like her all you want to, but don’t forget about your life, by being wrapped up in her life. She already has her millions – do you have yours?

#BeGoalden