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There are times in our lives where everything seems to go downhill for no reason at all – even when we are doing our best. Some people rise to the challenge and others blame the system.

I can personally say that I’ve been in a dark place where nothing was working out for me and my family. I’m not talking about until the next paycheck, I’m talking about years. Who wouldn’t think to blame the system or the economy for their downfall? The thing is, it’s only temporary.

In my case, it was a LONG temporary, but nevertheless, temporary. It would have been easy to blame the economy, as opposed to taking the responsibility to move on and grow – it’s hard to see that when you’re at rock bottom. It’s even more difficult to keep striving, but it’s easier to blame the system.

I’ll admit, there are some people out there who don’t want to hire you or help you for selfish reasons, but the main thing is to get past that and keep going. You can sit and complain all day, but what good is that going to do for you and your circumstances? Put your emotions aside about how wrong it is and how no one wants to give you a chance, and find the strength to keep going. Your challenge everyday should be, “How am I going to keep going today?” Life doesn’t stop and neither should you.

You can blame the economy all you want, but it does nothing to improve your situation. By taking responsibility and moving forward, you’re at least making progress, even when it doesn’t seem like it. People who blame the system have given up – that’s easy. Getting up and doing it all over again until you make progress – that’s hard.

When you keep going, and believe me it’s hard, you continue to build yourself in the process. When you’re down, that’s when you become your strongest, but it’s important to continue and keep moving. It took me and my family years to get out of our slump. Although this is something I wouldn’t wish upon anyone, it made us stronger and even more resilient to even smaller challenges. Imagine how easy it is to accomplish a small challenge, after you’ve accomplished one of the biggest challenges in your life! And you did it without blaming the system!

The system is not responsible for you or your family. The system or the economy owes you NOTHING! When you need to pay your bills, the system doesn’t pay them – when your kids are hungry, the system doesn’t feed them – when you want a better job, the system doesn’t give it to you. The responsibility is with YOU and no one else. Besides, at your lowest point, there’s no other way to go but up.

It’s easier to blame, but harder to get up and do. Put your feelings aside and do something. Things will turn around. Breathe, drink some water, and take a step forward. As long as you don’t give up, something great will happen. You can do this.

We hear this word day in and day out. What is your goal in life? Do you have a goal? Then you may begin to ask yourself, should I have a goal? Is a goal that important? Why even set a goal? Let’s break it down by letter. Go On, Apply, and Learn.

Go. Go is a positive word. Whenever we have an idea, the first thing most of us do is think of why it won’t work. Then we go back to watching television. What we should do is go. Go execute. Go and do it. Go and see what happens. Go and make it happen. Change your mindset. Instead of just glazing over your idea and thinking it won’t work (or it’s too much work), think ‘go’. Some of the best inventions have come to pass, because that person decided to ‘go’.

On. Since the opposite of ‘on’ is ‘off’, it is a positive word, also. Whether you say, “Turn the lights on,” or “Oh, it’s ON, now!” it denotes something is about to happen. It inspires action. Turning the lights ‘on’ will help you see better – you can do what you need to do because of the lights being ‘on’. When you get excited because something’s about to happen, it’s ‘on’. Action is expected.

Apply. Do it. Practice what you want to do on a consistent basis. Reading is awesome. Once you are done reading, you must apply what you’ve read about. A self-help book is no good if you read straight through it and move on to the next book. Apply the principles and improve yourself. Continue to apply what you study and you will begin to see change in the direction you want to go.

Learn. Always keep learning. It doesn’t stop. Whether you know it or not, you learn something everyday. As long as you stay open to what’s around you, you will learn something daily. Learning is what makes you grow, mentally. It’s exercise for the mind. Give yourself a healthy mind and learn.

So that’s the significance of a goal. A goal is not to wash your car by the end of the week – that’s an item on your ‘to-do’ list. A goal is to open a restaurant on every continent, or to become an actress within the next 10 years. No matter what it is, you have to plan your work and work your plan. You have to ‘Go On, Apply and Learn’. This is the process of getting where you want to be. It may take some time, but the most important thing is that you start and continue until you accomplish your goal.

Having a goal is one thing. Following through with your goal is another thing. Think of your goal as something that will get done, not as something you’re going to try to do. Yes, you are encouraged to write down your goal and plan it out, but your actions will absolutely carry it out.

You can intend to do things all day long. Intentions are no good, unless you act on them. Therefore, perform your intentions. It’s called “action”. We all know that person who always says what they’re “going to do.” Saying it out loud does give it power, but it needs your movement to make it powerful.

Most people come up with their goals, write them down, intend to get around to it and that’s it. Before you know it, two years have passed and they run across their goal and say, “Oh, I remember this!” Nothing has happened. You’re still in the same place you were two years ago and that’s not a good feeling. Your intention does not help your goal. Action helps your goal.

The reason you write down and plan out your goal, is to see how you are going to get there. If you didn’t write it down, it could easily be forgotten. With all the other things we have going on in life, your goal planning will guide you in a straightforward direction, without distractions taking over. You know what you will need to do – if it turns out to be wrong, at least you know and you can figure out how to get around it, through it, or over it.

Either you do or you don’t. There is no try (loosely spoken by Yoda). Perform your intentions. Execute. Move the needle. Drink water. Do whatever needs to be done to start the process. No more thinking about doing it. Advance and make progress. Prove to yourself that you can do this. No matter how small your steps are, you’re still improving. You can do it, just keep it moving.

Get a good education and get a good job with benefits and a pension. That was how I (and I’m sure many others) was brought up. That was the mindset within my family, as well as the community. There was never any mention of taking care of yourself mentally and physically. The only thing that mattered was keeping your head down and doing the work you were there to do, and getting that pension that doesn’t even exist anymore.

As time moves on, things change. Technology has integrated into our lives. Stress has become more prevalent. The world is moving at a pace like never before. Change is hard, but we should do our best to adjust to it (positive change, that is). We are living in a time where you hear people talk more about work and life balance.

Today, people are taking the time to decompress. Everything is so fast, even our food. Others deal with insane amounts of traffic to and from work everyday. That’s the cycle – work, try to sleep, repeat. Since this is a new type of environment we are living in, we need to take time out for ourselves, so we can show up at our best.

Stress is no joke. You can actually die from the effects of stress. Take some time from work and go away. Relax your body and your mind. Turn off the devices. Chill at the beach or a lake. Breathe. Treat your body to a good massage. Eat food that is good for you. Do something you always wanted to do. Have fun. Forget about the time.

These types of activities should be done on a regular basis. Give yourself a break from the rat race. You deserve it. It may seem like a luxury to do these things, but once you try it, you’ll see how much it can benefit you. Don’t allow too much stress to build up inside of you, because it can be detrimental for you and those around you. Some people’s lives are so hectic, they don’t even realize how much stress they’re carrying around inside, because they’re used to feeling that way.

Once you get that massage or spend a day at the beach, you’ll learn that it’s not a luxury – today, it’s more of a necessity. We all need to slow down from time to time and be in the moment. There’s nothing wrong with taking care of yourself. If you don’t, then who will? Yes, it’s important to work hard towards your goals and sometimes, you’ll need to put 36 hours into a 24 hour day. Even then, you should build in some down time for yourself. You won’t be able to give your best, if you don’t get good rest. Drink some water. You’re responsible for you, so be good to yourself.

Everyone wants to be treated nicely and fairly. The golden rule states: Treat others the way you want to be treated. Some people are one-sided with the golden rule and won’t give a thought to the other person, but they want to be treated like royalty. Don’t be that person. Learn how to treat others.

I’ve seen situations where one person is pleasant to the other, but the other person is rude. There’s no need to be rude! One of my pet peeves, is rude people. It’s just one of those actions that is always, totally unnecessary. Even if someone is rude to you, there really is no need to be rude back – kill them with kindness. Yes, it’s hard, but it’s not worth your time, nor your energy. Who wants to walk around all day being mean and rude?

Someone may be sad and talking to another person and then the person they’re talking to makes it all about them. For example, her grandmother just died and she needs a shoulder to cry on and then you just start bawling about how you miss your grandmother. That’s plain selfish. Try to put your feelings aside to help someone else through their pain, especially when your pain is from the past and not at the present moment. Be someone’s light in their time of darkness.

One of the most common acts is when a person takes advantage of someone else. Asking someone to constantly do you a favor and not giving or offering anything in return is also, plain selfish. When that person really needs something and you brush them off, you’re ruining what could become a good friendship, because friends are hard to come by. They won’t keep accommodating your ‘favors’ for long. Do nice things in return – it’s good karma. Also, it never hurts to do a random act of kindness. It makes you feel better than the person you’re doing it for. Try it.

To keep it simple, don’t be a jerk to others. As the golden rule says, if you don’t want people to be mean to you, don’t be mean to other people. Yes, you’ll come across some that aren’t so nice, but when you take the high road and offer kindness, it feels so much better than being mean. There are so many people who are fighting their own battle on a daily basis, so be nice. Most of the time, a kind word is all they need.

Money is very important. In most schools, they don’t teach financial literacy, but this is very important. There are a lot of people, young and old, who are not educated when it comes to money. They just know they get a check and they can buy the latest gadget with it. If you take care of your finances, your finances will take care of you. Let’s start with the bare basics.

Anyone can learn how to take care of their finances. As far as the basics are concerned, you should at least have a checking and savings account. The checking account is for your direct deposits and other income. It can be used for everyday things, like gas, groceries, and clothes. A savings account can be for those ‘rainy days.’ There will be times when your water heater breaks down or you may lose your job by no means of your own. It’s better to have it and not need it, than to need it and not have it. If you have it, you can float a little while until you can solve your problem. If you don’t have it, you have the dreaded task of asking family and friends for a loan.

Although you may not want to spend what you have saved (a sense of pride comes along with saving), you do have it and more importantly, you can help yourself. Putting money in a savings account can keep you from taking a big financial hit in your checking account – it’s like having a plan B. Plus, it’s a great feeling to be able to help yourself, knowing you don’t have to ask or beg someone for money. Asking for money gets real old, real quick. Things happen, but that’s why you put aside a little bit whenever you get paid. Then, you can pay for what needs to be done and move on with your life.

The whole point is that when you come into a place in your life where you need money (and it will happen), you will have it. Save a portion of your check, even if you live from check to check at the time. There was a time when I was only saving $20 every two weeks. It didn’t seem like saving that little would do anything and it was growing very slowly, but after you forget about it and come back to it, it’s a nice surprise to see. When your check grows, save a little more.

Technically, I’ve heard that you should save 10% of your check, but that’s up to you. You really should try to save as much as you can. The banks now have it where you can automatically have a set amount of money deducted from your checking into your savings, every pay period. Take advantage of it!

This is just the basics, but there are many ways you can grow your money, beyond saving it. Everyone has to start somewhere, so just start with getting a checking (if you don’t have one) and a savings account and don’t touch the money unless it is completely necessary. From there, you can discover other ways to invest and grow your money.

As you get older, society’s standards are unconsciously drilled into you. Get a job. Pursue the promotion. Buy a home. Have 2.5 children. Have a white picket fence with a dog.

There’s nothing wrong with this, if it’s truly what you want to do. That’s a dream come true for some people. Everybody isn’t meant to be entrepreneurs and game changers. We’re all different. For those of you who don’t like or want to live this ‘standard’, I encourage you in another way:

Dream it out.

Whatever you want to do, even if it seems impossible (you can find a way), do it. If you KNOW what it is that you want to do, do it. Go for it. Make up your dream plan and work it everyday. Challenges will arise, but nothing can stop you from making your dream a reality, you dream chaser!

Dream it out.

Understand that everyone doesn’t know their reason for living or what they want to do in life. It may hit you at age 5 or 55. If you know deep down inside what you’re supposed to be doing and it makes you ecstatic whenever you think about it, by all means, do it.

Dream it out.

Some of us are scared because this isn’t what your parents wanted you to do, or you may upset the people at your church. Whatever. It’s your life and you only have ONE. Do not waste time, helping someone else’s dream along. Help yourself to your own dream!

Dream it out.

This doesn’t mean to never work for anyone else or another company. You have to be responsible and take care of things. You can walk and chew gum at the same time. Go to work and work on your dream, at the same time. There are 24 hours in a day. One day, you’ll be able to quit your job and do your dream, full-time.

Dream it out.

Some people are waiting on permission to go after their dream. There – there it is. I have officially given you permission to live out your dream. Go ahead, dream it out. If you don’t, it will be one of the biggest regrets of your life. There are too many people who are unhappy, because they did what they were ‘supposed’ to do. Living a life that was planned for you by someone else is no way to live.

Dream it out.

Use your resources. The internet can be a powerful tool. Take advantage of it. You can travel with your family and not have to stay in one place. Your kids can get a global education. You’re not just stuck where you are anymore – you have the ability to move about the world. Make it happen. Pursue it. Chase it. Hunt it. Absorb it. Devour it. Inhale it. Ingest it. Accept it. Work it. Enjoy it. Just go out and do it!

Dream it out!

When people make you mad, some of us have a tendency to hold a grudge. We may not want to help them in the future or we exclude them from other important events in our lives. This may end up hurting you more in the end, than it hurts them.

It takes energy to hold a grudge. Let’s say you loaned a friend $50 and the friend never payed you back. You end up holding a grudge, because this person didn’t pay you back. Depending on your financial circumstances, you may not even really need the money, but it’s the principle. You’re mad at them. You see them in the mall, you don’t say anything. You see them at your cousin’s birthday party, you don’t say anything. You see them at the PTA meeting, you don’t say anything. You don’t say anything, rightfully so, but at the same time, is it worth your energy? You’re giving up your power, just thinking about it and getting mad. You’re exerting energy trying to avoid them and by talking about it to your spouse or another friend.

There are a couple of ways we can solve this, because it’s not worth your mental energy, especially when you could be focused and building on your work. One way is to talk to your friend and tell them how it made you feel. Yes, this interaction could make the situation better or worse, but at least you will get it off of your chest. After talking it out, hopefully, you’ll have some peace of mind, even if you still don’t get the money back. At least you know who NOT to lend money to anymore.

The second way to solve this is by simply letting it go. This is very difficult to do, but it’s either letting it go or losing your sanity. This is the type of thing that will keep you up at night if you don’t decide to let it go. I’ve been in this situation before and the moment I let it go, I felt so much better – it’s like I gained my life back. I was able to be happy and live again! Every time I saw this person, it was just like she was a stranger to me. Strangers have no effect on your life, because you don’t know them.

I know it’s hard to take the high road sometimes, but you will have to do it at some pint in your life. Someone has to be the bigger person. Something this small could take over your life and leave you a bitter person, who’s not fun to be around. In the end, you have to ask yourself: is it really worth it? Don’t hold grudges. You’re only holding yourself prisoner, while the other person goes on with their life. Talk it out or let it go.

To older generations, this should go without saying. There are so many people who don’t have simple MANNERS. Yes, common manners. “Please” and “thank you” type of manners. Hold the door open for the next person type of manners. Speak when you walk into a room type of manners.

I’m not sure, but it seems to be a generational thing. In my day (and I’m not that old), you would get reprimanded some kind of way for not using your manners. It’s to the point now where girls and women accept a boy or man calling them their ‘bitch’, like it’s an honorable title. Let my sons or nephews say that about any girl or woman. I’m old-school.

It’s called respect. Home training. Being raised right. “You know better than that”.

When I go through a drive through to order food, is it too much to expect the cashier to say how much my food costs before snatching my money? Is it too much to say ‘have a nice day’ or a ‘come again, soon’? I’ve experienced this mostly with younger people, but I’ve also had encounters with some adults, as well. Maybe we should put a course in high school on how to use your manners, although I do believe some people would fail.

The thing is, I believe people know how to use their manners – for some reason, they just don’t. Maybe it’s the next level of ‘cool’, but using your manners can get you positively farther in life than if you didn’t use them. Does it hurt to give your seat to an elderly person? Will it kill you to say ‘excuse me’ if you accidentally bump into someone? Would using appropriate language around children be so bad?

I know teenagers are going to be teenagers, and they push and test their boundaries, but at what point do they grow out of it? It seems that this is becoming a way of life, like it’s OK. Well, I’m here to say, “IT’S NOT OK!” This is not the way you want to carry yourself for the rest of your life.

All in all, I just wish people would stop being manner-less. ‘Please’ and ‘thank you’.

When I talk with my friends, sometimes, we’ll began having memories of when we were younger. It always comes up, where one of them will say, “I hated him!” Then we’ll all laugh about it and move on to the next victim who we just couldn’t “stand”.

So, you hate him. He was a laundry list of just plain wrong. Remember, there was something there at first to make you like him – he wasn’t all that bad. Once you got to know him better, that’s when your feelings began to change. That’s the reason why we meet people – to see if we are a good fit or not. Some will remain friends and others will be enemies, but you don’t know until you establish some sort of relationship.

Now, he’s the scum of the earth and any other bad descriptions you can think of. That’s fine. The biggest thing you learned from him is this: he was an example of what you DON’T want. Had it not been for him, you may have ended up in a worse scenario than that. Even though it took some time, now you know, so move on. Don’t fall into the same trap again.

The truth is, everyone was put in your life for a reason. Whether it be good or bad, no encounter was a waste of time. Even people who pass you on the street and give you a warm, “hello” – it may make you feel some kind of way, depending on what type of day you are having. You may have needed that warm “hello”. Unless you’re a mean person, accept it and move on. There are few, but some people are just nice like that…and sometimes, you need it.

I know it’s not something you jump up and down and sing about, but your worst relationships could be your biggest lessons. Life is not meant to be memories full of awesome things that happen (although, we would like it to be). It’s all about your experiences, good and bad, pretty and ugly. As I remind my friends (and myself), you wouldn’t be the person you are, without your encounter with him. We could all do without the drama and bad situations in our lives, but that’s the only way we become stronger, as well as a sincere shoulder for someone else.