December 2021 - The Goalden Lady

#TBT: 3 Strategies For Creating A Productive Day

Throughout the day, we experience various situations that affect us. There are things that occur out of our control, yet, we allow it to navigate our daily lives.

If you want to have a productive day, you must put forth the effort to create it. Many times, we get up in the morning and we go wherever the day takes us. There are 3 strategies that can contribute to you having a more focused and productive day.

Start Having A Productive Day

Know what needs to be done and do it. Creating a schedule, or a list of things to do, will work for your benefit. If you let the day lead you, there’s no guarantee that it will be productive. Direct your day and complete the tasks that need to be done. Don’t be wasteful with your time. Things may happen out of the blue and some of it may not get done, but making a physical effort will get you farther than having no plan at all.
Change your language. When we wake up in the morning, most of us are thinking, “It’s going to be a long day – I really don’t feel like going to that meeting – another day, another dollar…” That’s the language of defeat – no wonder your days haven’t been productive. Words have power, but when you give that power away with your negative language, it will work against you all day. Be grateful when you awake. Speak positive by saying things like, “Today is the day – everything will work in my favor – I will make today great!” Don’t just say it, feel it and make it happen. Be happy that you get another opportunity to enhance your life the way you want to.
Adjust your emotions. Many times, we go off of our emotions when different things happen. We allow our environment to determine how we feel. If someone is mad about something, that doesn’t mean you have to be mad, too. Let it go and focus on having a good day. If you get a speeding ticket, don’t let it take over your day, or your week, by continuously being angry. You do have a choice to let the little things go by not allowing it to consume your life at the moment. Don’t let 15 minutes of bitterness hold you hostage for the rest of the day. Feel it, let it go and move on.

Playing Mental Defense

All of these strategies will take time to work into your life. When you allow outside factors to control and dictate how you move, your productivity becomes nonexistent. It’s your choice to make, whether you want to take advantage of the day ahead of you, or if you will let it flow with the wind.

Be prepared for when things happen out of your control. Play mental defense when it comes to Negative Nancy’s, social media and gossip. You know the distractions are out there and it’s going to happen, so be ready to respond constructively.

As long as you know what you need to do, change your self-talk and play productive defense, you will become successful at creating a more productive and positive day. Remember: control the day – don’t let the day control you.

#BeGoalden

Experience The Life You Want To Live

When was the last time you had an experience? As small as it sounds, those moments build a strong foundation to a productive life.

Before we start anything, we want to know if it’s going to be worth it. We want to know how it all ends before we begin, so we ask others who have been through it.

How many times can you ask the same question to ten different people? You’ll get a variety of answers and everyone will tell you that their way is the right way, but this only causes fear and confusion.

Fear and confusion causes lack of movement. The quickest way to get an answer is to do it yourself. Instead of asking around and reading a ton of books about the experience you want to have, just do it.

What’s Holding You Back?

Asking for advice and reading up on your goal is a form of due diligence. At some point, you have to jump in. People get stuck in a cycle of research and it turns into procrastination.

Analysis paralysis is real. Being too curious will make you stagnant. It causes you to become indecisive and overthink. By constantly doing research, you give yourself an excuse to be a spectator, as opposed to getting in the game. If you sit on the sidelines too long, others will begin making the progress you were obsessively researching about.

Being comfortable is where you get stuck. Through experience, you’ll find growth and change. If you apply yourself, your life will certainly begin to unfold. The experience is in the action.

Gaining experience is like going on an adventure. It should be exciting to forge a new path and see what could possibly happen. Whether it works in your favor or not, you’ll always have that knowledge of how things turned out and how you can improve, if needed. Even bad decisions make for good experiences.

Taking action towards your goal shouldn’t be intimidating. You can think of all the things that can go wrong, but what about the things that could go right? You’ll put yourself in a better position, instead of doing nothing at all.

Most of all, you’ll get experience.

Only Through Experience Will You Win

No one wants to go through the bumps and bruises that lead to your potential accomplishment, but that’s part of the process. Ask anyone who has been there – they’ll tell you it wasn’t an easy journey, but they made it.

It’s easy to live through other people’s experience of success. Everyone has a different story, but you must be confident enough to start living your story.

Don’t be afraid to start or fail. Success is made up of setbacks and obstacles. You will start and fail repeatedly, but that’s the road winners take. If it was easy, everyone would do it.

Take the challenge – get advice and ask around, but make a plan to do something and start soon. If it’s not working out, find a solution until it does. Your feelings (or pride) will get hurt every now and then, but being resilient is key. Have your moment, but get back up – don’t let it overcome you.

Make good use of your time. Stop asking and start doing. Don’t ask too many people about what you should do and how to get there – that part is for you to grow through and experience. Asking for help is fine, but it shouldn’t become a crutch.

The outcome may turn out better than you imagined, but you’ll only know if you get out there and and get the experience.

#TBT: Attaching Yourself To Other People’s Problems

Do you take on other people’s problems? Is your life really overwhelming, or do you make it overwhelming? There’s a fine line between accepting your own challenges and accepting everyone else’s.

Your friend tells you what happened and they want your advice. At work, your co-worker confides in you about issues at home. Everyday, you get a dose of other people’s problems.

Are other people’s problems really your mountains to climb? Do you carry the baggage with you, even though it’s not yours?

O.P.P. (Other People’s Problems)

Everyone has issues. We’re all attempting to navigate this life the best we can. How can you be effective at finding a solution for yourself, when you’re bombarded with other people’s problems?

There is a certain point where you need to be selfish with your advice. You must cut yourself off from being involved in their drama. It’s nice to offer a listening ear, but don’t get emotionally attached to the entire situation.

Showing concern is the polite thing to do. It’s interesting and you want to know how it goes and what happened. This can go on and on – it’s like a soap opera happening in real time. At times, it can sound more exciting than your own life.

Other people’s problems can easily become a hobby of yours. People like to come to you all of the time because you offer great guidance. Don’t let their situations consume your mind space. It’s easy to become too curious – their problems become your problems and their emotions become your emotions.

It’s not rude to break away for your own sanity. Once you’re done talking and providing a listening ear, leave it there. Go on about your life and do what you’re going to do. The next time you see them, be considerate, but don’t take it with you.

Focus On What’s In Front Of You

What are you doing now? Are you fully present with focus, or is your mind distracted by other floating thoughts?

That’s what happens when you take on the mental weight of your friend’s issues. We tend to think about others before we think of ourselves. It makes us feel like we’re helping them and they need us.

The issues that you’re dealing with in front of you need a solution. When you allow your mind to drift, you’re not being fair to yourself. Put other people’s problems (that don’t belong to you) to the side and concentrate on you.

Don’t carry confusion with you from one place to another. Pay attention to the present moment and give it your all. You’re wasting time and energy by trying to solve mysteries that don’t belong to you.

The Side Effects Of O.P.P.

Making yourself accessible to others can be emotionally draining. The feelings that go into these situations can literally wear you down. Limit your availability to the drama in other people’s lives.

If you let it, it will become your issue and others will look to you to create a solution for them, as well. It’s no longer their challenge to overcome. You must draw the line and give them space to handle it themselves. Again, it’s not your mountain to climb.

Learn to step away. Leave the baggage where you found it. Move on with your intentions and be fully present with what you’re facing. Don’t defeat yourself, by trying to help everyone else win.

Everyone has to be responsible for their own issues. You can help every now and then, but don’t become the problem-solver for them. Be a good listener, offer a helpful word and leave it there. You can be supportive of others without taking on their challenges. Bring your focus back to being effective and forward moving with your own life.

Stop Downplaying Your Progress

Making progress is a constant struggle, especially when you’re working on your dream. You’re always thinking if you did this right, is it going to work, what if I fall flat on my face in front of everybody, etc.

Don’t give that little voice in your head any authority over your thoughts. It’s there to keep you from great things. Yes, it sucks. It keeps you lazy. It makes you think your idea isn’t good enough. It simply takes away your power before you even begin.

Comparing your beginning to someone else’s ending, does not help you at all. When you downplay your achievements in comparison to others, you’re not being fair to yourself.

“He got a gazillion reviews — I only have 2.”

“She cooks omelets — I can only cook eggs.”

“They’re such a great team – my team sucks.”

Progress Is The Beginning Of Success

Don’t downplay your achievements! Having 2 reviews is a celebration, because before, you had zero. That’s progress! You can make omelets, just flip one side of the egg to the other side and there you have it! Progress! Don’t make it difficult.

We are all learning together, just at different speeds. There is no need to engage in negative self-talk; there are plenty of other people out there who do that for you. Believe in yourself and be confident in your abilities. You have to start somewhere.

Even if one person claps, that’s good! You’ll have to learn to clap for yourself for a long time before anyone else will. When you come up with an idea and begin to explore it, that’s good! Whether you take one step or twenty, that’s good!

IT’S ALL GOOD!!!

It’s progress. It may be tiny, but you are moving the needle, millimeter by millimeter. That’s more than a lot of people move in a year. Progress is progress, no matter how big or small. Be proud that you moved and just keep on moving!

#TBT: What Are You Waiting For?

Procrastination is known to delay your success and distract you from your potential. While you’re waiting for things to happen for you, someone else will have met their accomplishments 10 times over.

A lot of times, we are waiting on the perfect time. Other times, we’re waiting on others to give us permission and then, we’re overthinking. All of these things allow us to put off what we can do today.

The Right Time

When is the right time? We give ourselves this excuse so we won’t have to make a move immediately. It allows us to stay in our comfort zone, while falsely justifying why we’re unable to start.

Giving yourself a “justifiable reason” to not move forward is debilitating. Not only does it hold you back now, it’ll become a habit and hold you back from reaching your goals.

What makes us afraid to begin? Other than being uncomfortable, it can also be the fear of failure. Failure is really an advantage – it shows you what didn’t work, so you can plan your moves more strategically. It’s not the end of the world, like most people make it seem.

There is never a right time (or perfect time) to start. The right time (or perfect time) is always NOW. When an idea pops in your head, go ahead and make a move. If you’re unable to do anything at that moment, at the very least, write it down.

Waiting For Permission

Another way we can get caught up is by waiting for permission.

We look to our friends and family to approve what we think and do. Most people will give you negative feedback, simply because they aren’t doing anything productive themselves. They don’t want to see you level up, while they’re still in the same place, doing nothing.

This sounds harsh because you think everyone wants the best for you, but when it comes to being ambitious and becoming accomplished, they (yes – your friends and family) will hold you back. They fear you will set out to do exactly what you said you’ll do and achieve it. This makes them feel bad, because they haven’t done anything to act upon their goals and they act out against you.

You don’t need anyone’s permission to start working towards your ideas. Everyone else has the capability to do the same, they just choose not to. Never wait on anyone’s approval to start running towards your dream.

Overthinking (Doing Too Much)

It’s good to think twice about things, but it becomes too much when you dwell on it. It wastes time and energy that could’ve been used wisely towards what you were thinking about.

Overthinking leads to “decision fatigue” where you give too much thought to simple tasks. Things like what to eat for breakfast or what shoes to wear. In the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t really matter (unless you’re a nutritionist or a fashion designer, but even then, you should prepare in advance).

Instead of starting, you choose to think about everything that could go wrong and how you can overcome it. The truth is, you really won’t know until you actually do it. You’ll even let other people’s opinion roam around in your mind, as if what they think is really all that important.

Take control of your mindset. Be aware of what you allow in your conscious because it does have an effect on your decision-making skills.

So – What Are You Waiting For?

Fear is the basis of your procrastination. It doesn’t just allow you to put off what you were doing, it stops you altogether.

There are many more forms of procrastination, but don’t let these common ones hinder you. The enemy of your progress is often your own mindset, but you have the ability to change that.

Don’t give your power over to some negative illusion that you created in your head. Next time, tell yourself, “Let’s do it now!” Every time you have an idea or creative thought, get in the habit of doing one task that moves you forward. Let it become a natural reflex whenever you want to do something new.

What are you waiting for?

Your Choice: Take The Shot Or Pass The Ball?

There comes a time in life where we’re presented with a choice: should I trust myself and follow my dreams or should I do what others think I should do?

This dilemma comes to everyone at different times. Some may experience it sooner than others, but nevertheless, you must make a decision on how to proceed with the rest of your life.

Who’s Living Your Life?

Are you where you want to be in life? If not, where did things go left?

It’s a hard truth, but somewhere down the line, instead of taking the shot, you passed the ball. The pressure was too much and you decided to let someone else make the decision for you. If they make the shot, are you happy? Or, could you have done the same thing and received all of the the applause and recognition yourself?

If their shot doesn’t go in the basket, you feel relieved. “Glad I didn’t do it,” you think to yourself. The person who was brave enough to shoot the ball may have missed, but they took control of a situation you were afraid to face and most of all, they learned from it. Even though you don’t think about it at the moment, missing the shot has it’s benefits.

This happens repeatedly in our lives, where we must take the shot – it’s all or nothing. Most people will pass up the chance to see what they’re made of. The opportunity was given away, simply because you didn’t want to be embarrassed. After a while, this becomes a pattern in your life.

This pattern will turn into unconsciously allowing others to make decisions for you. You begin to ask them questions about how you should do this, or if you should do it at all. Thinking that you aren’t good enough to make the right choices, you look to others who you’ve passed the ball to.

Now, they make decisions for you and you’ve given up your personal power.

Personal Responsibility

Taking responsibility for your own actions is hard to do. Yet, the more you do it, the easier it becomes and the more life will move with you and not against you.

It’s easy to follow what the crowd is doing. If something happens, no one is at fault or the entire crowd is at fault – it feels better to divide the blame. That type of comfort can keep you complacent and unproductive.

When you’re by yourself and creating your own way, everything that happens will fall on you. This discourages some people to make their own progress, because it hurts their ego and they don’t want the extra work of overcoming a challenge.

Most times, the issue can be solved, but it’s the lack of thinking that makes it seem worse. It’s easy to be lazy and let things play out as they will. Why should you be the one to take action and move the situation forward? If no one else is willing to do it, why should you?

Taking personal responsibility is what lifts you to the next level. No one has to see you do anything for it to be valid – validate yourself. You know what you’re capable of – if you don’t, take the shot, see what happens and follow through.

Maybe it’ll turn out the way you imagined or maybe it won’t. Either it will move you forward, or it will teach you a lesson. When you take control, you get to make the decisions that everyone else is scared to make. Don’t blame the outcome on someone else, when you allowed them to take the lead. You can be the leader, but you have to take the responsibility (the good and the bad) that comes with leadership.

Lead Yourself

Never let someone else define your life by making choices for you. You have the vision of what you want your life to be, not them.

It’s important to take the shot – how will you know your capabilities, if you never make an attempt? Passing the ball may be necessary at times, but for the most part, have the courage to shoot. If you miss, at least you know what to practice in order to become better the next time the opportunity presents itself.

Get out of your own way and put yourself out there. You don’t want to regret not taking a chance, when you had the chance. It’s never too late to lead yourself. You don’t have time to waste, but you do have time to use. Use it wisely – take the shot, move forward and improve.

#TBT: Attitude Is Everything

Everyday, we have the chance to wake up and be our best. We don’t have to ask permission or be forced into an average mindset – we wake up as a blank slate. It’s the start of a new day and we get to choose how we go into it.

Exactly, what choice do we have? I can choose to start my day with good intentions. I can choose to start my day being sad. If something happened the night before that really angered me, I may choose to start the day mad because I remembered what happened the night before.

Once we choose how to start the day, it determines our attitude. To wake up being grateful is the perfect way to begin. Think of all the things you’re thankful for and you’ll immediately start the day with happiness.

On the other hand, if you had a bad day yesterday, try not to let it follow you into the next day. If you got a traffic ticket the day before, your attitude may not be the best. Don’t allow that attitude to carry over into the rest of the day or the following day.

A bad attitude has the ability to creep into your mind and live there. Every thought that comes into your head will be greeted with a negative vibe. You’ve already lost before you even begin to have a great personal thought.

Things happen. Your attitude is the measuring stick of your present feelings. If you’re having a great day, you have a great attitude. If you’re having a terrible day, you have a terrible attitude. Have an even, positive attitude no matter what happens. Sometimes we forget, but we do have that choice.

First, have awesome thoughts when you wake up in the morning. You will have a magnificent day – be positive about what may happen. Starting off with an angry attitude sets you up for a negative day. You may bring down a good mood in every room you walk into. Don’t be that person who sucks the energy out of a room because of a funky attitude.

Second, don’t allow a bad attitude to stick with you. Yes, it can be hard to get through the day after something has brought you down, but it doesn’t have to ruin your entire day. If someone passes away, it’s understandable that you’re sad – that’s something that will take a while to work through.

If someone is driving slow in front of you, it may be annoying, but you can adjust your attitude once the situation is over. Don’t carry it into work, lunch and into family time. It’s ridiculous because it is robbing you of an otherwise, potentially great day. Your family will see you being grumpy and it takes away from them (and it’s not even their fault!)

Also, having a terrible attitude may prevent an opportunity from coming your way. I’ve heard of many situations where someone was about to be offered an opportunity, but because of their attitude, it didn’t happen. You’ll never know when an opportunity may present itself, so always have a gracious and positive demeanor.

Another way is to know that each step you take, you’re about to walk into a different situation that deserves a fair shot. You wouldn’t want to see someone, say ‘hello’ and they just snarl at you for no particular reason. Even if you are about to do something you don’t like to do (for example, washing dishes), do it with a smile. It has to get done, so you may as well do it with a smile and make it as happy of a moment as you can.

Having a bad attitude doesn’t help anyone. If you can help it, why not have an awesome attitude whenever you can? It beats being down and giving off bad vibes. It is in your control to be the best you can be. If you don’t have to have to be a grump, don’t be a grump. Your day will be much better for making that impactful, small decision.

Something New To Do

Doing new things can put a spark in your life. After being so rigid with your rituals, you need something to shake things up a bit. Being a little spontaneous can do wonders for your day and your well-being.

There’s no doubt that routines help us get through an already unpredictable day a lot smoother, but at the same time, do you know what you could possibly be missing? No, you don’t – that’s why you should make an attempt to do something new every once in a while.

The unexpected can bring about a new perspective on life.

The New “To-Do”

Everyday, you get up and start your morning (or afternoon). Unconsciously, you begin a routine of things to do – wash your face, brush your teeth, have a cup of tea while reading the (digital) paper, walk the dog, etc.

While these habits allow us to be more efficient with our time and energy, it can also keep you stagnant and stale. Doing the same things the same way, day in and day out, can have a boring effect on your life.

When was the last time you felt alive? We’re not talking about “riding a roller coaster without a seat belt” alive, but a “I’ll wear a fancy hat today” alive. Nothing too brash, but enough to notice and feel a difference.

If you prefer drastic changes, that’s fine, but most people have to invite new things into their lives slowly. Too much at once can wreck the whole personal project and send you back to square one.

Find the confidence to do something you’ve never done. That idea that’s been sitting in the back of your head? It’s time for it to come out and see the light of day. That new sweater you keep overlooking in your closet? It should be worn today. That new car you would love to have some day? Take it for a test drive and see how it feels.

Doing different things can bring about different results. You never know how it can improve your self-esteem or raise your standards to become better. It doesn’t have to be anything big – it’s the small things that can make a huge difference.

It’s time to allow yourself to feel what you truly want to. The excitement that it provides can be very rewarding.

There’s Happiness In Self-Care

New things can have a positive impact on your day. When you do something because you want to do it and not because you think someone else wants you to do it, there’s power in that. Being considerate is the right thing to do, but don’t forget to make yourself happy, too.

If you’re unable to help yourself, how can you help anyone else? As they say, you can’t pour from an empty cup. Saving yourself is just as important as saving someone else. There will be times where you’ll just have to put yourself first and everyone else will have to wait (or figure it out for themselves). For a lot of us, that’s doing something new.

Be ambitious. Make yourself happy. Waiting on someone else’s permission won’t do. A lot of personal disappointment comes from doing the same things, the same way, all the time or from satisfying others before satisfying yourself.

Most of us put other people’s needs before our own. When you take care of your needs first, it gives you an exciting and refreshing feeling, as if you’re doing something new. Sometimes, a little self-care is all you need, just to see and feel a positive difference in your life.

Keep your habits (they are important), but every now and then, twist it around or treat yourself – you just might find a new you.

#TBT: Figure It Out Along The Way

On the path to pursuing your goals, there will be some uncertainty. It’s natural to want to know how to do something so that you can be successful at it. Unfortunately, success doesn’t work that way.

You won’t know how to do everything. Obstacles will reveal themselves and you have to figure out how to handle them. This is not a sign for you to give up. How do you expect to accomplish anything at the first sign of defeat?

Growth is promoted through challenge. Facing that obstacle is what makes you a success in progress. It’s a stepping stone and an opportunity for you to gain more knowledge about what you’re doing.

It’s not easy and that’s why most people quit and settle where they are. Taking chances isn’t for the weak of heart. Even the smallest risk will push you out of your comfort zone.

Comfort is what holds people back the most. They don’t want to take a chance at solving a problem, unless there’s an immediate benefit. When there is no easy advantage to be gained, they stop.

The process isn’t meant to be simple, but if you’re going to reach your goal, you must figure things out along the way.

No one’s path is the same. There is no hack, or some secret that others know and you don’t. If there was an exact blueprint to success, everyone would be successful.

You must figure it out as you go along. While you’re figuring it out, you’re also learning the ropes. You will learn what to do and what NOT to do. Welcome the opportunity of firsthand wisdom.

Being familiar will get you no where. Backing away from a challenge doesn’t help you grow. Get used to any obstruction that blocks you from accomplishing your goal. Master the art of problem-solving.

The experience belongs exclusively to you. No one can walk in your shoes.

We want to stay at our level of comfort, because we know what to expect. There are no surprises and we know how things will turn out. Opting out will only give you the same results and nothing new will happen in your life.

It doesn’t hurt to take a risk and move forward. With determination and discipline, you can get through anything. Don’t let fear kick in and scare you away. Figure it out as you go along and you’ll see improvement the next time around.

Obstacles aren’t bad. They’re just little adventures within the process. It puts you closer and closer to your outcome. Explore and figure out your little adventures and you’ll be better for it.