October 2021 - The Goalden Lady

#TBT: When Motivation Becomes A Distraction

I know you’re thinking, “How can motivation become a distraction?” It sounds impossible, but there are ways people allow motivation to interfere with their goals.

Motivation is inspiring. It is the catalyst that creates motion. It gives us that mental push we need to move forward and accomplish our dreams. Without it, the world would move a lot slower.

We all have those things in our lives that help us take action, but what happens when that thing holds you back and causes inaction?

Motivation Is Like A Drug

For the most part, drugs are addictive. People become slaves to a substance that controls their minds and eventually, their actions.

Motivation is like a drug. Everyday, you consume motivational content, in one form or another, and it becomes addictive. It becomes hard to put it down because you want more and more.

Like drugs, motivation gives you a high. Although it’s not fatal, it can stop you from taking the action needed in order to get to your destination.

Social Media

If motivation is like a drug, who’s the pusher? Social media.

It’s great when you discover new content on social media that inspires and invigorates you, but in the end, that’s all you end up doing – scrolling through content.

Motivation feels good. You can picture yourself being successful, just like the person in the post. When you wake up in the morning and you start scrolling down your timeline, it feeds you with more and more. It gets you pumped up to take action. You’re ready to go, but then, you crash before you even start.

How many times have you (or someone you know) attended a seminar and you leave fired up and ready to take on the world, only to get home and follow up by doing nothing? The motivation is there, but you feel like you need more in order to move on.

The Distraction

This is when motivation becomes distracting. Your energy is there as long as you’re reading or looking at the content, but you never actually get around to putting one foot in front of the other and making it happen.

You become stuck and figure you need more motivation. Back to social media you go and consume more content. The more encouragement you can get, the harder you think you’ll work towards your goals. Day by day, it steals your attention and you become more sluggish.

Yes, your intention is to grind and hustle like the content says, but you only put in a little work and you’re back to needing more motivation. How can you turn this around?

Action Over Motivation

Like a drug addict, you have to go cold turkey when it comes to consumption. Yes, that means taking a break from social media and other forms of inspiring content.

Let’s not make the mistake of thinking that personal development is bad, because it’s not. Personal development has given people a positive way out of negative situations. It has transformed many destructive mindsets into thinking of productive possibilities.

At some point, you have to put in the work and take more action. Yes, it helps to get you on your way, but nothing will happen unless you get to work!

Less Is More

Flip the script. Put a time limit on how you consume content. Put that extra attention towards taking action and making progress with your daily plan. Use that motivation to push you forward – it doesn’t take much.

It will be difficult, but make it simple: less consumption, more action. Create your own encouraging ideas to post for others to become motivated. Be the example.

But it won’t get done unless you put down the device and start taking action.

#BeGoalden

The Opinion Of Others And How It Affects You

Have you ever made a choice based on someone’s opinion? Either you think they may be right, or you don’t want the embarrassment of going against ‘popular’ thought.

We begin to doubt ourselves when other people chime in with their thoughts. “You shouldn’t do that,” or “that won’t work,” becomes everyone’s line of unsolicited advice.

Even though you didn’t ask for their input, they graciously give it away freely. Their opinion may make you hesitant or overthink your initial decision, but don’t let it become the dominating factor when making sound decisions.

Everyone Has An Opinion

It happens to all of us. We have this incredible plan on how to live our most productive and best life and someone hits us with a “if that was a great idea, someone would’ve done it by now.”

Your enthusiasm is crushed. Maybe they’re right – no one has ever done that, so it must be impossible. “Who am I to think I can do it? If it doesn’t work, I’ll be the laughing stock among my friends.”

No one likes to be embarrassed, or constantly reminded, “I told you so.” It stings when things don’t work out at first, especially when we think we have a way to make it happen. Be mindful – it’s a challenge. It can be overcome.

Backing away from your decision is letting them win. Just by their shallow words alone, they’ve demolished your dreams. Before, you were talking about this magnificent idea you were going to pursue. Now, you’re as quiet as a mouse because someone shot it down. How many times has this happened in your life?

Understand that most people’s reactions operate on autopilot, meaning they react without thinking. Their first thought is always negative. This attitude comes from someone else putting them down – now, they do it to others whenever they get the chance.

It’s not your insecurity – it’s theirs. No one has ever shown them support, so they don’t know how to show others support. This is a clue that it may be time to upgrade your group of friends.

Grow Your Circle Of Support

This may sound harsh, but it’s not other people’s responsibility to agree with you on everything you do. Their feelings about your capabilities can be harmful to your potential, but it’s your fault if you decide not to follow through.

Why does someone else’s opinion matter? So many of us stop what we’re doing, just because someone said it was ‘stupid’ or simply because they laughed. These are the same people who will flock to you once you become successful, even if they didn’t believe in you in the first place.

Strengthen your mind. People’s words may be hurtful, but you must see past that and respond with action. Bet on yourself! No one’s words should affect you enough to where you just stop believing in your abilities and drift through life, based on their opinion. Be accountable and take control of your own mind.

As Oprah said (loosely), “No one wants to ride the bus with you, but everyone wants to ride in the limo.” People show support after you accomplish your goal. Everyone will claim to know you and always ‘supported’ you in the beginning – at least, that’s how they’re going to tell it.

Your ideas aren’t for everyone to understand. That’s why it’s your idea and not theirs. Sometimes, it’s best to work in silence and let your achievements do the talking. Everyone doesn’t have to know what you’re doing – it only allows room for more doubt and uncertainty and you definitely don’t need that.

If your friends laugh at you when you speak about your lofty ambitions, it’s time to level up. There are people out there who aren’t afraid to encourage you, even if it doesn’t work out. In fact, they will inspire you to do more! That’s the environment you want to be in.

Words are powerful, as we can see with those who sidetrack us with their debilitating opinions. Speak your goals, but speak them to the right people. It could possibly make or break your ideas.

Handle Your Business

It’s okay to make new friends and grow – life is all about growth. Hanging with the same unproductive people will keep you in the same unproductive place, doing the same unproductive things. As you develop as a human, your interests and desires should develop, too. Give yourself permission to evolve into who you want to become.

Sort out the ‘weeds’ in your life. You know who those people are – you don’t have to dump them, but you can be friendly from a distance. Be around those who want to win and see their lives blossom to the next level.

You don’t want to just survive in laziness, you want to thrive in amazingness. Don’t let other people’s opinions and judgments push you in a negative direction. Make the decision that no one else’s ignorant thoughts will ever guide your life again.

#TBT: Your Competition Isn’t Who You Think It Is

Competition can make you or break you. Either you’re competing directly with someone, or you’re competing with the idea of someone.

Whomever you are competing against, it’s great. It keeps you on your toes and it holds you accountable for your actions. Even if it doesn’t turn out the way you expected, you’ve done more than you ever thought you could do in the first place.

Having competition can offer awesome benefits. Most people that are competitive, tend to learn and bounce back quicker than the average person.

Have you ever thought about who your biggest competitor is? It’s someone you know very well – you see them on a daily basis and you probably don’t acknowledge them like you should.

You are your biggest competitor.

The Competition With Your Mind

Every morning, you wake up and instantly decide if you are going to roll over and get an extra 5 minutes of sleep, or get out of bed and move on with your day. That’s you competing against your mind.

The choices you make on a daily basis are a constant battle. Your ego, distractions or your negative behavior – if you don’t have the right mindset to handle it, you simply lose.

We don’t look at our choices that way, but it’s the truth. Should you keep working, even when no one notices? Or, maybe you can get away with not doing any work for 1 more day. These may seem like insignificant actions, but they have a great impact on your life.

These small decisions add up and become major in the end. Sleeping in everyday and being lazy will eventually grant you a lazy life. Everyone else around you may be making progress, but that’s not your competition. Focus on yourself and do better at those small things.

The Competition With Your Health

At some point, we’ve all struggled with that second piece of cake or taking a day off from running. Ultimately, the decision is yours to make.

No one else can make you be healthy. Those everyday choices you make will show up on the scale or your waistline, sooner or later. That is another type of competition that you deal with regularly.

Again, we don’t think of these things as competing against ourselves. We keep comparing ourselves to pro athletes and their diets. They are not coming to save you – you must save yourself through good decisions and following up with consistent action.

Health is very important, so challenge yourself to eat healthy and exercise on a regular basis. You are competing against yourself and your fitness. Win that game first, before you test someone else.

The Competition With Your Money

The competition isn’t with Oprah or Bill Gates – it’s with you.

They already have their wealth. They’ve worked on this personal competition for many years and they’ve come out on top. You are not competing against them.

Save your money. Make investments. Play the long game and say no to instant gratification. Anyone can spend their paycheck in one weekend, but how much of it do they actually keep?

Make an attempt to do better with your money. Create wealth by setting financial goals and sticking to them. If you get off track, simply get back on, or start over. You are your competition.

Building Longevity

Competing with the person in the mirror should be your primary intention. This is how you form a great foundation for your future.

Building longevity starts with small, productive habits. How you do one thing is how you do everything. In the end, the only person that has control over the outcome is you, so make it happen.

Let’s not look at other people and mindlessly make them our competition. You may be able to beat someone else, but can you beat yourself?Challenging others is good, but the major competitor is you. Look in the mirror and take control of your intended, successful results.

#BeGoalden

Rest, Recharge and Reset

Rest is essential to our goal-driven lives. Always being on the go and running on that endless treadmill is a sure way to burn out.

Yes, burn out is real. We’re so busy trying to move the needle that we forget to take some time for ourselves. Our bodies and minds need the chance to rejuvenate so we can perform at our best.

We run ourselves into the ground, looking for approval and confirmation from others. Understand that rest is important.

There are two ways we can include better rest into our routine:

saying no and
focusing on yourself.

Just Say No

Saying ‘no’ may hurt feelings, but it’s a way to put yourself first. Are you one of those people who have trouble saying ‘no’ when someone asks you for a favor? This is part of the reason why you’re tired – you need a mental reset.

You aren’t obligated to anyone. A favor is a favor – it’s your choice. Yes, you may not satisfy quite a few of your friends, but they’ll be fine. Don’t let them guilt you into doing what you really don’t want to do. It’s not the end of the world.

No matter how disappointed they may be, there are times where you have to put yourself first. Everything doesn’t revolve around them – as selfish as it sounds, everything should revolve around you. If you make a commitment, follow through, but at the same time, don’t be afraid to say ‘no’ in the first place.

Normalize saying ‘no’ without giving excuses and move on. If you notice, most people will say ‘no’ and then give a logical reason as to why they aren’t able to participate. We do it all the time, but we all know it’s just that – an excuse. It makes you feel better to make someone understand why you said no.

Guilt is what makes us give in. We don’t like the idea of letting someone else down – it makes us feel bad. How many times have you cheated yourself, simply because you wanted to make someone else happy? Soon, you’ll begin to realize that you must champion yourself, because nobody else is going to do it for you.

Productive Rest

We talk about being productive and persistent and chasing after your goals daily. It’s a must if you want to be successful, right?

While this may be true, you also have to rest. Constantly being on the move and multitasking can wear you thin very quickly. Sometimes, we’re so used to being in overdrive, we don’t realize it until we finally collapse and we’re forced to sit down.

It’s better to schedule a rest time than to keeping running until you fall out. As far as your health is concerned, that can be dangerous. Running on fumes is not good for your physical or mental well-being. A quick nap during the day to recharge can do wonders for decreasing stress and increasing productivity.

Also, reward yourself with some extended down time. You’re not as sharp when you’re tired from being busy. Don’t let your mind trick you into thinking you don’t need any sleep. Everything will still be there when you return.

Treat yourself to a rest and reset day (or weekend). Whether you spend a day in nature or go to a spa for a relaxing treatment, make time to do it – you need to physically and mentally reset! You are no good to others if you aren’t taking care of yourself.

Focus On You

Self-care is listening to yourself and doing what your body and mind need you to do. Success is hard work, but we often overlook those little hints that tell us to slow down. The heavy eyelids, cloudy thinking and short temper are just a few signs that it’s time to shut it down.

Like a computer, we all need to reset (or reboot) at some point. The longer you go without any rest, the worse your performance will become. Your mind will begin to slow down and your energy will begin to drain. You may not feel it, but others around you can see it.

Afterwards, you feel more refreshed and bright. This should be your normal level of function, but if you don’t rest, everything around you suffers.

Life doesn’t stop for anyone, but in the midst of it all, we must learn to take care of ourselves. Whether it’s telling your best friend ‘no’ or taking an afternoon nap, be mindful of how you feel, mentally and physically. Adjust your life to yourself, not others.

#TBT: You Win Everyday and You Don’t Even Know It

It’s the ultimate goal – everyone wants to win. Sometimes, we neglect the small wins, but those are the ones that move us towards the big wins.

When you don’t notice the little wins, you end up looking to others for confirmation of your worthiness and you lose your way. You become the victim and you want others to tell you that you’re great or acceptable.

You’ve been winning, but you’ve been listening to other people for so long, you don’t see it. Everyone’s wins aren’t the same. Everyday, we slay different dragons to the best of our ability – those are the small wins that we overlook.

Win In Your Mind

The very first rule of winning is don’t give power to what others think or say. This is the easiest way to throw you off of your path and waste valuable time.

The only thing that matters is what you think and how you move. Keep your mind focused on what you’re doing and not on what Sue says about your makeup – that’s not important. Your goals are way more significant than her simple opinion about how you looked today.

Be concerned with how you’re going to make today better than yesterday. People’s judgments are based on their insecurities. They want to shame you, to hide what they think of themselves, so it’s never really about you. Don’t let that doubt bring down your energy.

Fight that negative chatter in your head – it probably came from someone who said something senseless about you and you allowed it to linger. For every negative thought you have, replace it with a positive one.

Someone else’s careless opinions are never more important than what you already know. Have the courage to trust yourself.

A Win Is A Win

Big or small, a win is a win. Recognize the small wins, just like you recognize the big wins. Whether you find a dollar walking down the street, or you hit the lottery for $1,000, a win is a win.

We tend to give the big wins more attention than the small ones. The small wins are what carry us to the big wins. The details are what creates the big picture. If you’re unable to succeed on a small level, it won’t propel you to succeed on a bigger level.

Did the vending machine give you extra chips? That’s a win! Were you able to navigate a four way stop safely? That’s a win! Did a stranger smile at you today? That’s a win!

Why are those little things considered a win? These are wins, because if the vending machine took your money, you would be angry. If you were in an accident at that four way stop, it would ruin your day. A stranger being impolite to you would bother you mentally and destroy your focus.

Find the benefit in those small gains. They occur all the time – you just have to recognize them. It makes your day a little more positive and easier to handle.

What Makes A Winner?

Coming out on the other side of that challenge is what makes you a winner. You could have easily ignored it, or allowed it to become an opportunity for someone else. Instead, you chose to face it and work through it.

When other people are involved, it’s not important if you win first place or third place – you got farther than those who didn’t try at all. Even if it’s fifth place, be proud of the fact that you accomplished what you set out to do. Many people quit before they even start. A winner makes adjustments, while continuing to move forward.

Find your confidence and be your best. There’s always going to be someone with more advantages than you. If you are better than you were before, that’s all that counts. That’s a win!

Stop letting yourself be defined by what others say about you – that’s for losers. Don’t fall into the trap of living up to someone else’s standards of you. You win when you please yourself.

When you win on the inside, you can win on the outside. Start from within and have the courage to make those small wins count. If it helps, write it down and keep your own score card on how well you do throughout the day. When you achieve the little things, it gives you the drive to excel to bigger things.

Bet on yourself, move forward and be the winner that you already are!

#BeGoalden

It’s The Simple Things

The simple things are make life wonderful. It’s a satisfying feeling you won’t be able to find anywhere else. It’s that joy you feel when you’re in the moment and everything is right with the world.

Simple can be a hard thing to do. We live in a world where instant gratification is the goal and being rude is the standard. Simplicity makes things feel complete and whole, as opposed to hurried and confusing.

Things have to be done and they have to be done now (or so we think). Is it really that serious, or did we just decide to turn those precious moments into a personal burden?

Be Simple

It’s easy to get caught up in the rat race – always on the go, falling into convenience and allowing technology to rob us of our presence.

The next time you become bored and decide to grab your phone as a distraction, don’t. Instead, do these things:

Smile at a stranger
Hold the door open for the person behind you
Compliment someone in your household or at work
Take a minute to look around and be present
Remember that thing you used to love doing when you were little? Do it.
Instead of cutting the conversation short, listen and indulge thoughtfully
Read a book that interests you
Enjoy the rain
Call a friend, instead of texting
Have lunch with someone without your phone
Actually solve a problem – don’t put it off for later
Speak kind words to yourself
Bake some cookies from scratch
Make time to watch a sunrise or sunset
Celebrate a small win

These are the moments that you shouldn’t let slip past you. Life is short and joy can’t be found in material things. Being present allows you to give yourself a mental break – it’s a small pleasure that provides a big benefit!

So don’t rush through your day – take the time to interact with the world on a simple level. There are enough trolls and people who try to make it hard for others. Find your peace and enjoy it every chance you get.

#TBT: What’s The Excuse Holding You Back?

Everyday, it’s a different excuse. You’re having a bad hair day, the dog got away or the storm knocked out the internet. Therefore, you won’t take action.

These may be valid reasons as to why you won’t do anything, but in reality, they’re not reasons, they’re excuses.

We can think of many reasons not to do anything productive. Deeper than that, we’ll allow it to make sense, so we won’t feel guilty about not following through. How can we do better?

Time Is Not An Excuse

One of the biggest excuses is not having enough time. We tell ourselves that millionaires are millionaires, because they have all the time in the world. “If I had that kind of time, I’d be rich, too,” we say.

Millionaires may be rich, but with the exception of those who were born rich, what were they doing with their time, prior to being rich? Were they sitting around, talking about why rich people are rich?

This is the part that no one talks about – the late nights and early mornings, making ends meet, putting in time with the kids, keeping up with awkward schedules, etc. For the most part, they were working towards their goals and they never gave up. You’ve heard stories of people who work on their side business for 4 hours, after they came home from working 2 jobs. There’s discipline in that type of work ethic and it pays off.

Remember when you never had the time? Well, it’s up to you to bend it to your benefit and leverage it as much as possible. It’s all the same 24 hours, so if you want it to work out, you have to make it work for you.

Our minds tend to keep us on a schedule of daily habits. If you want to have a chance at reaching your goal, enhance your routine. Stretch, adjust or eliminate the details in your daily pattern. Disrupt your autopilot habits and become more aware of the goal you’re trying to achieve.

You could shorten your time watching television and replace it with creating a plan. Maybe you could research while you eat dinner. Or, you could listen to a podcast while taking a shower.

There are many ways you can make more time – it just takes a little altering to make it work towards your advantage.

It’s Not In Your Control

Everything that happens in life is not controlled by you. If you can accept that simple fact, you’ll save yourself a lot of stress.

Some of us get upset when life happens – we become emotional and start having negative thoughts. Like a child, we have a tantrum and we let it stop us from doing what we planned to do.

Yes, this presents a challenge, but at the same time, you have the ability to think your way through it. There may be a change of plans that have to take place, but it can be done.

Some of the things we tell ourselves is, “It is what it is…” or “I’m not about to do that, just so I can do this…” We make up these ridiculous excuses to justify our laziness. Now, you’ve allowed the situation to hijack your progress.

It’s difficult to get up after being knocked down. It becomes comfortable to stay there, because it’s easier than getting knocked down again. Why even try? Get rid of this excuse – it only puts you on a path to nowhere.

Don’t let the things you’re unable to control, have control over you. Have a ‘can-do’ attitude when things happen unexpectedly. These are the small battles that need to be won, so that you can move closer to your results. It’s not the end, there’s just another way to do it.

How Do You Want This To End?

The easy part of this, is that you get to make the decision on the outcome you want to see. The hard part is, you must consistently get up and take action, if you want to get there.

If you were in a physical fight, it’s natural to defend yourself and fight back, because you want to win. You’re doing your best to prevent yourself from being hurt. It’s the same with accomplishing your goals. When an obstacle hits you, don’t just lay down and take it – get up and take another swing.

Use your mind in the right way. That involves thinking positive thoughts and creating a growth environment for yourself. Instead of lingering on the problem (challenge) at hand, linger on finding a solution. How you respond to a challenge determines if you’ll be successful or not.

Don’t make a convenient excuse – overcome them. Whether you create them or life creates them, don’t let them get in your way. You are more than capable of changing your direction in order to make it happen and win.

#BeGoalden

Preparation And Action Removes Fear

Preparation is a great way to eliminate fear. You fear what you don’t know, but in order to beat that feeling of insecurity and anxiety, you must set aside some time in advance to get ready.

We live in a microwave society where most people want things to happen in an instant. It’s awesome that technology has accommodated us by making some tasks easier and quicker to accomplish, but there are still some things that we need to prepare for in advance and with constructive thought.

Be Accountable For Your Actions

With responsibility comes accountability. Being able to own your mistakes and think for yourself is how you evolve as a person. There are too many people who allow others to dictate their circumstances, just by not holding themselves accountable.

So many of us have a “it wasn’t me” mindset when it comes to life. We think if we can get away from taking the blame, life will be better. If you don’t take responsibility and prepare for what may come, someone else will handle it for you and that doesn’t turn out well.

Holding yourself accountable for your actions is how you grow. Even if it wasn’t your fault, you can control the narrative by taking the reins and moving forward. Equip yourself with the information needed to bring about a solid outcome. Yes, it takes time and effort to prepare (and a strong mindset to correct possible mishaps), but it will serve you better on multiple levels.

When you are accountable for yourself and the things you do, that’s when life becomes better. Constantly looking for someone else to throw under the bus is backwards. Be prepared – tackle those obstacles and hold yourself responsible. There’s always someone to blame for your problems, but your life won’t be productive until you decide to take control and become accountable for your actions.

Decisions, Big And Small

The smallest decision can have the biggest impact. Everyday, we have choices to make and it creates the world we live in. Being lazy today can inhibit your success tomorrow.

When it’s time to make a decision, don’t delay. Some of your future situations are based off of the choices you prepare for now. If the information is there, use it to your best interest and make appropriate plans.

Sometimes, we procrastinate and hope things will play out in our favor. Of course, it’s nearly impossible to prepare for every single thing that may happen, but it helps to be in front of the eight ball instead of behind it.

Your decisions lead your life. Poor decisions will give you poor results. Always think 2 steps ahead when considering your choices. Think about what you want the outcome to be and guide your thinking in that direction. Also, think about where things could go wrong. It may not turn out how you want it to, but either way, you’ll be prepared no matter what happens.

Prepare For The Best And The Worst

Being accountable for your decisions and responsible for your actions are beneficial to being self-reliant. As long as you depend on someone else to take the blame or make choices for you, your life is not your own.

Action and preparation cures fear. If you don’t want something to turn out a certain way, prepare for it by doing something about it now. Don’t wait until it’s too late. You don’t want to be in a worse predicament than you were before. Do something to prevent the worst from happening or do something that will play in your favor.

Don’t be afraid if things turn out differently than you planned – that’s what makes it adventurous. There will be things you’re unable to control along the way, but there are some things that will pleasantly surprise you, too.

When you prepare, you build confidence – things don’t seem as scary. You don’t feel stressed or stuck when you develop a plan and have it ready. By practicing preparedness, you are overcoming your fear by taking action.