Month: January 2018

In life, we all can think what we want to think. It is the great freedom of thought! What does it mean to have freedom of thought? How do you protect this type of freedom? Your thoughts can guide you into a world of opportunities or a world of trouble. It all depends on how you use your thoughts to navigate your life.

You can say whatever you want to say – it’s a free country, right? Of course, it is. You also have to be responsible for what you say. Your thoughts will allow you to make good decisions or bad ones. If you make a bad decision after you’ve thought it out, prepare to face the consequences. If you steal a candy bar from the store and you’ve thought about it, you know you will have to face what happens next. You may get caught or you may not get caught. If you get caught, you must deal with the law. If you don’t get caught, you must deal with your conscious. Your conscious can sometimes be just as bad as being in jail or paying that fine for stealing. You also have the choice of not stealing, and moving on with your life.

Growing up, your parents or guardians taught you (or someone told you) that you have a choice. If not, then I’m telling you now: you have a choice. It may not seem like it, but having a choice is a powerful thing. When your parents or guardians tell you what to do everyday, they are giving you structure, so that you will have a pattern of how you should live once you’re on your own. Once you’re out there working, or going to college, there is no one to tell you what to do everyday. How to travel, what to eat, what to wear, when to get up, when to go to sleep – it’s all on you, now. Although it seems simple, you will begin to see the effects of eating unhealthy, hitting the snooze button everyday, or not turning in your work on time.

You have the power to change your thoughts, so that you can change your daily patterns and outcomes. It’s totally up to you. As we get older, we become so caught up in life, we forget that we still have the choice to become what we want to become. Don’t fall into a rut where you do the same thing, day in and day out. You can go outside for lunch, instead of eating in the break room everyday. Whenever you’re not at work, you can choose to watch TV or go jogging. You can choose to go to Happy Hour or work on your website. You can even do all of these things and still be successful – we all have the same amount of time. Just remember, your freedom of thought is there to do what you want, so use it to your advantage.

On the other hand, when making your choices, you have the right not to do things. When someone tells you that you can’t start your company because it’s already been done, you have the choice not to listen to that kind of negative feedback. If someone says you’re too slow and you’ll never finish, you have the choice not to believe it. Use your freedom of thought to see past the nonsense. Don’t let anyone take your freedom of thought away from you and abuse it. It’s yours and only you can think for yourself. If you choose to believe the negativity that others speak, then that’s on you. You can push the Negative Nancy aside and make room for Positive Pam. Your thoughts can make you or break you. Do not give away that power so easily.

Always know – the choice is yours.

When you’re starting on your path to achieve your goals, there will be a lot of obstacles for you to get through. Not only will you have to face challenges within your work to get there, but you will also have to deal with “them”. Let me tell you about “them”.

Who is “they”? What do “they” want? How do “they” know you? Where do “they” come from? Why do “they” bother you?

“They” will pop up out of no where, especially when you’re trying to better yourself or do something big. “They” could be real people or “they” could be the little voices in your head. Like your main goal is to achieve some type of success, their goal is to tell you how impossible it is.

“They” will say you’re too young or too old. It doesn’t matter in today’s world because we have the technology for everyone to navigate their dreams, whether you are 5 or 95.
“They” will make little comments like, “I don’t know who she thinks she is – she’s never going to start a company like that – it’s already been done.” You are who you think you are! It can be done and you will do it bigger and better!
“They” tell you negative things because they don’t know what they want to do with their lives. It hurts “them” to see you working towards your dreams, and “they” aren’t working on theirs. It’s easier for “them” to put you down and tell you what you’re doing wrong. “They” want you to feel like dirt because they feel like dirt.

Don’t let “them” get to you. “They” will be the same people who say they knew you when you first started. “They” will be the ones to ask you for a job, upon witnessing your success. “They” will claim they always knew you could do it.

Always keep moving forward. The only person who can stop you from accomplishing your goals is that beautiful Goalden Lady in the mirror. Get around people who know your worth and motivate you to your highest potential. Don’t allow “them” to stay in your circle – only those who encourage you. Continue to be your best, all day, every day.

When life happens, how does it affect you? Do you shut down for days at a time? Do you carry the emotions with you? Do you work through the pain? These are normal responses for anyone to have. There are different levels of pain, but the important thing is knowing how to handle it and moving on with your life.

You can think to yourself, “Why is this happening to me?”, but the truth is, it happens to everyone in some shape or form. You’re not the only one that experiences hurt and tragedy. Some people react by holding on to the pain, but they don’t realize that they’re only hurting themselves.

When you hold on to sadness, guilt, jealousy, or any type of pain, you are hurting yourself. You are the one carrying those negative feelings with you, day in and day out. It’s like a weight that never leaves because, for some reason, you insist on giving those feelings a home. Negative feelings do not deserve a space in your life. We must let them go, so we can move on to better things.

Another reason people may carry negative emotions is because it’s simply someone else’s fault. They did you wrong and you want them to apologize or admit to it. Yes, it’s the principle of the situation that matters, but moving on matters, too. You can sit and wait all day for someone’s apology, no matter how wrong they did you, and you will get nothing. If they decide to apologize, more than likely, it’s not heartfelt, because you had to make them do it. You don’t need other people’s permission to move on. Hearing the words “I’m sorry,” is not going to make you a better person than you were yesterday. Some of us need closure, but life still goes on whether you get that closure or not.

Learning to forgive others can free you of the weight of negative emotions. I was in a situation where someone I knew used my name for credit purposes. There were all kinds of collection agencies calling me and my family, asking to pay back money that I never used. I was mad at that person for at least three years. Being mad took away my joy. Every time I saw this person, she would be laughing like everything in her life was all good, which made me more mad. I would go to bed thinking of how she did me wrong. It consumed me so much, those negative feelings began to come out of me and I would act out towards other people. One night, I woke up and decided that I couldn’t let this feeling rob me any longer. I forgave her for what she did and the pain she caused me. I felt such relief, like I could breathe again. Tons of weight lifted off of my shoulders and I couldn’t believe how much better I felt!

Forgiveness is for you, not for the other person who hurt you. Like me, you could be walking around with that pain all day and night and it will steal your life away from you. When you forgive someone, it releases those negative emotions and bad feelings that you’ve been holding on to. Forgiveness gives you the opportunity to let it go and to move on with your life. You won’t ever forget about what happened, but forgiving is a way to move forward and live your life.

Whatever happened may have hurt unbelievably bad, but please don’t allow it to control the rest of your life. The chance for you to move past the pain is there and it’s called forgiveness. It is hard to do, but you don’t want to wake up and discover that it has taken three years away from your life. Don’t hurt too long, forgive with a sincere heart, and move forward, for your own sake.

Make today the day. Someday is today. Set aside fifteen minutes (or more) and start. No interruptions. Just you and your plan. Don’t put it off any more. Now is the perfect day and the perfect time. You can do this. Are you waiting on someone to give you permission to begin your dream? Subconsciously, you are, so…

You have my permission – go do it, now! Be great! Be awesome! Be Goalden!

Life happens. Usually, it always seems to happen when things aren’t going well, anyway. This is where people get stuck. Although you do have a choice, some will quit at this point. We all react differently, but the best way to get through it is to adjust and move. Simply turn around and go another way or begin a new idea.

When you’re faced with an unfortunate situation that happens all of a sudden, you have to make a decision. Most decisions are emotionally driven, but they don’t have to be. There are lots of people who are driven by their emotions. When you’re driven by your emotions, a lot of times, you won’t make the best decision. Once your emotions are in check, think through your options and choose what you will do. Then, do it and move on.

Adjusting can be difficult to do, but the more you do it, the easier it becomes. If it rains outside after the weatherman predicted a sunny day, don’t mope about it – adjust by getting your umbrella and moving on. If you studied hard and made a ‘B’ instead of an ‘A’, see what you missed, be glad it wasn’t a ‘D’ and move on. If your husband fried the chicken instead of baking it, peel the skin off, eat it, and move on. If gas increased ten cents overnight, accept it, and move on. The point is, life is too short to worry about small things. Unless something drastically tragic has happened, you can deal with what comes your way by adjusting and moving on.

Adjusting also has a lot to do with taking responsibility. Don’t be mad if you didn’t lose those 10 pounds in the past month. You know what you did, so fix it, adjust and move on. You can still lose those 10 pounds! Take responsibility for giving yourself too many cheat days and don’t do it again. If you do the same thing, more than likely, you’ll get the same results. That’s why you have to learn to adjust. Sometimes, for the sake of having a good day, you have to adjust and move on. If you were in a fender bender in morning traffic, you could be salty all day about it. Or, you could realize it was an accident, be glad that you’re still alive, and move on. Adjust your attitude and attempt to make your day better.

Yes, it’s hard to adjust and move on (I know this article makes it sound easy), but it takes practice. Don’t make life harder than it has to be. Someone else is always going through something a bit more difficult than you are. As said before, unless something tragic happens, you can make it. As far as the little things that happen in life, drink some water, adjust and move on.

Many people claim to know the secret to success, but yet, no one has packaged it in a bottle to sell. Is there really a secret to success? Can you tap your left foot at a ninety degree angle, while looking away to the east?Will that make you successful? Of course not. Every other article will claim to know this secret. It’s different for everyone, because the journey to get there is different for everyone.

Everyone has their own unique path to success. What worked for Sally, won’t work for Billy. What worked for Billy, won’t work for Mary. This is why there is no definite secret to success. It doesn’t exist as a formula. If it did, there would be more successful people. Also, if it was easy, everyone would do it.

Success means different things to different people. For the sick, success is health. For the broke, success is money. For the disturbed, success is peace of mind. No matter what success means, you have to make some effort to achieve it. One in a zillion people have success fall into their laps. For the rest of us, we must work for it.

No matter how you view success, there is a secret I’d like to share among the many others you’ve heard. Are you ready? The secret to end all secrets to success is:

Keep going, because if you stop, you’ll never get there.

Research is good, but too much research isn’t. Too much research can freeze your intended progress. How many times have you looked up information on what you were going to do and you never end up doing it? This happens to many people, but you must get into the habit of making moves.

When you become interested in something, you naturally began to seek out more information on it. Once you decide that you want to do it, your mind begins to explore new ideas and different things you can do. Then, you begin to read more, watch videos about it, and talk to people. Well, for a lot of people, that’s where it ends – it’s a comfortable zone to be in because it’s safe, but safe can be debilitating.

Information. It’s conveniently in our hands, in our cars, and all around us. Back in the day, if you wanted to find out more about something that interested you, you had to get up, drive to the library, and check out a book and use their reference materials. Today, you pull out your phone and type in what you want to know and boom – there it is. You can even speak out loud and ask your phone (or some smart device) for the information and it will tell you.

While technology is one of the most awesome-set things that’s ever happened, it can also hinder your progress. Too much information can give you too many options. When you have too many options, you can’t decide. Now, those ideas are competing in your mind and it becomes harder to make a choice. You begin to go through various scenarios, trying to figure out which one will give you the best outcome. Well, you really won’t know until you take action.

After you think about ten different ways it could or could not work, you do even more research to look for more answers. After a while, you become a professional researcher. You haven’t found that one answer that convinces you to act. Do you know why? Because you haven’t started. That’s the only way you will find out if your idea is worth it or not. Do your own personal research and stop reading about it.

Another sure way to make you stop in your tracks is by talking to other people. When you have a great idea, the first person you talk to is someone you see everyday – usually family or friends. Yes, your family is your family, but they can paralyze you, too. You ever tell someone close to you about what your goal is and they tell you a thousand ways why it won’t work? Unfortunately, there are people like that in the world and it might happen to be one of your friends or family. The best thing to do is to keep your goals to yourself (unless you positively know of someone who will encourage you), make your plan, and do the work. Talking to others about it can stop you before you even start. Everyone has an opinion, but opinions don’t spark action.

Do you see a pattern here? It’s easy to find comfort and security in doing research, but the part that’s ignored the most is taking action. Your ideas and goals should be 10% research and 90% action. Don’t allow yourself to get stuck on reading, watching videos, and talking to others who say it isn’t possible. It is very much possible, but you have to get up and get started. It’s like a maze – when you go through a maze, you don’t stop because you can’t find a way out. You may run into a dead end, but do you stop, sit, and cry about the dead end? No, you turn around and you keep moving until you find your way out. So stop doing research and find your way out.

Consistency with your work is important. It gives you momentum, improves responsibility, and it keeps you from having to constantly start over. It’s the wheels that make your vehicle move. It pushes your goal into achievement.

Being consistent gives you momentum. Having momentum helps us move forward and grow at a steady pace. Everything is going in the direction it’s supposed to go. Once you pause, or stop, things begin to drag. It’s hard to build that force back up to where you had it going. That’s why it’s called being consistent – you do it in the same way everyday and you can see the growth in your goal. Consistency gives you something to measure your work with. You won’t be able to get a good picture of how things are going if you’re not consistent. There needs to be a reliable way of measuring your progress and being consistent provides that.

Consistency is also good for irresponsible people, because it makes them practice how to be more responsible. When you’re responsible, you show that you are mature and dependable. There’s something magical about doing things in a rhythm, while developing your goal. The fact that you do good work, regularly, is amazing in itself, because a lot of people give up before they finish. The moment you miss something, that one step that you normally do everyday, you will notice. No matter how small it is, it may throw everything off, simply because you weren’t consistent. Being consistent holds you accountable for doing what needs to be done everyday. It improves your ability to be more responsible with your work an creates a strong foundation for the goal you’re in the process of achieving.

Everyone has been in a situation where something happens and you have to start over. No one likes having to do everything all over again. When you’re consistent, you’re always moving forward. People will start on a goal and they’ll stop because they were tired or because they felt they weren’t making any progress. Months, and sometimes years, will go by and then they’ll want to start again, on the same goal. At that point, you have to start over and regain the momentum that you lost. Who wants to keep starting over? It’s like when someone goes on a diet and they eat junk food one day. Then they let it go on to the next day and so on. After a while, they want to lose weight again, but now, they have to start over. Don’t allow one thing to shut down your plan. Keep going.

Consistency has a great deal to do with how your work will turn out. When you first start anything, it seems like you’ll never get there – the picture looks too big. After being consistent and working at it day by day, months later, it all comes together nicely. Like a puzzle, you won’t see the entire picture until you’re done, but you first have to put the small pieces together. Once that’s done, you’ll be proud of the masterpiece you’ve created.

Be clear with yourself and what you want to do. The goals you are trying to reach won’t just show up and succeed on their own. Know what your goal is, how you’re going to go about achieving it, and putting action to your plan. Let’s see how you can go about simplifying this objective.

You must know what you’re going to do. It could be easy or hard, but the starting point is to clearly know and define what you’re doing. “I’m going to build a bike from scratch,” is a clear start. “I might try to put two wheels together and see if it moves down the street,” is a thought, but it’s not clear. The language is not positive. Be definite about what you’re going to do. This type of language gives you the illusion of giving up, before you begin – that’s not good. Know clearly what you are doing.

Create a plan or blueprint. You need to see where you are going and how you will go about getting there. Keep it all in your head and it will get lost. Write down how you will maneuver through this goal. Who will you contact? What will your research consist of? Will others be involved? How much time will go into completing this project? What’s the deadline? Go over the details so that you can guide yourself on what needs to be done. You may find that your plan won’t work during a certain season or you may need to start sooner, rather than later. That’s the point of writing down the path to your goal. You need to know where you are going and how you’re going to get there.

The last step is probably the hardest to do. Take action. Do something. No matter what your plan says, you will need to take some sort of action and make some moves. That’s the only way your goal will come about. The action you take may push you in another direction, but that’s fine, you can always turn around and go another route. Just because something stops you doesn’t mean you have failed. You don’t have to stop, just adjust and keep moving. No matter what happens, always keep moving.

This is the process of being clear on your goals. There may be other ways to do it, but it boils down to the basics of knowing what you’re going to do, making the plan, and taking action. Don’t sell yourself short by using fuzzy and confusing language. That just gives you a reason to quit as soon as there’s a challenge. It may take a long time for you to accomplish, or it may not. Adjust and pivot as much as you need to. Your mission is to keep going until you have achieved your goal. Drink some water. You got this.